As others have said, lupus is an autoimmune system failure.  Think of the
immune
system as the body's police department.  Most people have the honest-cop
version, where invading viruses and bacteria get busted, and the law-abiding
cells in the body are happy to see Officer Whitebloodcell walking his beat.
In lupus, you get the "1984" paranoid secret police who arrest their own
citizens,
haul them into Room 101 and work them over until they admit that 2+2=5.  So
the body becomes allergic to itself in weirdly inventive ways.  To make
matters
worse, the effects may not show up for hours or days, and the effects don't
end
as soon as the cause is removed.

Ask her about the things that can set off a lupus flare.  She'll have her
list of things
she has to avoid, but be sure to ask her about:

Sunlight.  The ultraviolet (UV) light in sunlight can set off a flare.

Fluorescent lights.  They generally produce less UV than you find in
sunlight,
but they can cause a problem for some people.

Stress.  This can be physical (too much exertion; not enough sleep) or
emotional
(a drama-queen relative).

Medications.  All medications are mildly toxic, that's what makes them work.
Sometimes lupus will over-react to the "mildly" part.

Ask her about the effects a flare has on her--fatigue?  Pain?  Skin
problems?

Think about yourself, too.  You can find ways to work around the problems,
but
it can still be stressful for you.  That won't do either of you any good, so
try to nip
the problems in the bud.

Good luck.

--Bill Thompson

Hi,

I've recently started dating a wonderful woman who has lupus.  I don't know
much, so I'm turning to you folks to guide me to good information (web
sites, but especially books) that will help me understand her condition and
how to support her.

I hope you can help!  :-)

-- John