Hey Thom,

My heart goes out to you! Please don't beat yourself up over leaving early
and passing off a patient. You did the right thing...remember, you are a
patient as well and you need to take care of your needs. You are by no means
a whimp, in fact you seem to be pretty together in spite of the heavy doses
and length of tx. You can do this! Is there any way you can take some time
off for a while? I don't know your situation as far as your work goes, but I
hope you can sort some arrangement that will work for both you and them.
Your work sounds pretty stressful, and what you are going through is pretty
stressful. I pray you will find a way to take the time you need and not feel
guilty. Rest as much as you can and rant anytime you need to! Take extra
care to be kind to yourself...without the guilt and feeling like a
whimp...you're a champ!

dort

Hi folks,
Just checking in.  I haven't had the energy or inclination to participate in
much of anything the past couple of months.  Mostly just coming home from
work and going to bed.
This is week 14 (out of 72 total) and for the first time I'm having doubts
about whether or not I really want to complete round 2 of tx.  This time
around the sides are much worse than before.  I feel like sh.t all the time,
and like sh.t warmed over for 3 or 4 days after my injection.  Dried up tear
ducts, eczema and the old familiar itchy riba rash are back.  Of course the
usual shortness of breath, R upper quadrant pain and GI spasms don't help
much either.
I guess this was to be expected with the increased dosage this time - 210
mcg Peg-Intron and 1600 mg Riba daily.
I'm a bit worried that it has started to affect me in other ways as well.
Today I left work a couple of hours early.  I passed off responsibility for
transfusing and coordinating emergency measures for a patient with a massive
GI bleed secondary
to a severe coagulopathy.  Thank God my senior Blood Bank tech was there to
take over.  In the past 30+ years I have never left work under those
conditions before.  I feel like I ran out on the patient and my staff.  But
I also knew (thought) that I needed to get away from the hospital right
away.  I don't know what I'd do if my intermittent brain fog led to a
miscalculation for a patient.  God, I hate this!
When I think of Elmo, Thomas and several others in the ng who have endured
multiple rounds of tx I feel like a whimp.  Oh well, only six more days
until shot #14.  I can hardly wait!  Sorry for the mini-rant, but if I can't
vent with you guys I'd just be screaming in the dark......
Thom