Hmm well I dont know how else I have to describe what I have when I'm scared
of my tinitus. It has become a bit worse but at the same times i just think
that the T is now equally distributed in my right and left ear, norlally i'd
only have it in my left ear.

THe most annoying prob i'm having with this rightnow is that I just cant
sleep easily. I want to lie on my right side but then the right ear is cut
of from the white noise I run trough my room at night. This has been helpful
for over 3 years now in making me sleep very good. but now I dont know what
to do..

The problems started on friday when the sound just started in my right ear..
Its not that I didn't sleep at all, I just keep on getting scared untill 6
am and then i finally fall asleep, maybe because of the increasing traffic
noise and birds etc..

Sometims its better and I can fall asleep at 3 am. The thing wich is most
cruical to me being able to find rest is that , when I am trying to find
sleep and i'm unreastuf: I'm in a very weird frame of mind...

I'm constantly tinking that I have to dream and experience it, but ofcoruse
that can never happen because you cant just enter a dream.. it just loops me
in and out of conciousness (bacues I do believe that time passes more
quickly when I'm having these kind of episodes.. Mostly when I'm about to
fall asleep i am always saying to myhself "I cant sleep with this hard noise
in my head, how can someone sleep like this ? its not natural etc.. I just
think that the activity in my brain is just not enabling me to sleep..

Then these thoughts just cascade further , I wonder if its healy to have
tinitus, I wonder if my brain will rot when constantly having tinitus, ....
I need to put blocks in this or that order in my mind to sleep... I need to
reach this or that person or I cant sleep (this is all going on in my mind
ofcourse I know I dont really have to do that but.. Its almost like the
beginning of a neurosis..

SOmetimes it just switches off at 3 am and then I'm just sleeping untill 8
or 9 and had a normal nightrest.. well kinda...

I wonder if anyone has experineced this and how you can stop these night
terror-like thoughts that keep you from sleeping because I actually know
that I can sleep with tinitus, it just always hits me at sleep time and I
just wonder that when i'll be 50 I'll hear nothing but tinitus etc... I just
go from one doom scenario to another

M