Trudy,

I can empathize with your situation - certainly. I used to go right
out of my mind if I missed like more than one day of work - felt like
I was a slacker, looser, not contributing enough - not to mention just
feeling miserable healthwise. Now, lately, I've been missing days &
days - weeks I haven't been able to actually get to the office
building. But, the fact is, we all have inherent priceless value and
deserve dignity and respect from ourselves and others - period. This
is what needs to be cultivated. Unconditional self respect and a
feeling of self worth - nothing need be done to earn this except to do
the best you can with whatever conditions you have to live with and to
grant others that same respect and treat them with dignity. It's the
golden rule do unto others. But, ya gotta love and forgive yourself
truly to build the rock solid foundation needed. I'm working on it.

So, anyway, yes the emotional worry, stress about the illness, but
even more so finances, etc. is almost harder to handle than the
physical problems. I still have a job - thank god - since I can work
from my home, but I'm finding it hard to keep my energy level and
concentration up to the level it needs to be to pull even that off.

I was asking in another thread how the hell do people with severe
chronic sinus problems manage to survive financially?

Can you get social security disability?, workmans comp? anything like
that? What financial support can you get?

I'm scared. I am single - no wife, children. Everyone in my core
family - father, younger brother has passed away, leaving only my
mother who is quite elderly at this point. And my nearest relatives
are a good 600 miles away from here. I have them and many friends, but
none that I would ever consider as a source of shelter, financial
support, sanctuary if I really got completely financially waxed.

Where it not for the job I'm so tenuously hanging onto and the health
insurance that is part of the benefit package i'd most certainly be a
dead man by now. I do have excellent health insurance now, but about
eight years ago when I felt indestructible and carried minimal
coverage, i had an illness that ate up my entire lifes savings -
everything. All my savings for a home, for retirement, all my stocks,
bonds, CD's - it all went so fast it made my head spin - and that was
a considerable chunk of change. But it went further than that - I went
close to $13,000 in credit card debt on top of it all.

It's frightening - god, you lost your apartment, car, had no money for
food - yikes! - plus you where sick/ill to boot. Damn, how did you
approach getting the help you needed to survive?