Contrarian All Fours Meditation

This submission is about meditation and the immune system. Before having
a biopsy, which diagnosed my prostate as cancerous I looked into
meditation on the WWW for a therapeutic remedy. One site told me that
the brain was not connected to cancer and since meditation is a function
of the brain it could have no possible effect.

Being a contrarian by nature and probably after this - to some - a
crackpot, I have decided to take issue with that. The basic tenet of
meditation is I think, to sit still and somehow slow your heartbeat
while breathing normally. I call it lulling your body to sleep. I
decided to walk around my rec. room very slowly (not as slow as Tim
Conway did as the old man on the Carol Burnett show) and breathe deeply,
repeating (mentally)'I am' while inhaling and 'alive' when exhaling very
slowly. When exhaling I can feel a soothing rush moving from the top of
my body down to my feet.

I'm theorizing that during inactive meditation the immune system goes to
sleep. Walking, while breathing deeply, increases circulation perhaps
activating the system. Saying I'm alive is a factual statement sending a
positive message through your body, in contrast to: I want to live or
other such statements, which to me is pleading and therefore negative.
Perhaps you body's immunity manager would even be offended and shout,
"get the hell off my back I've got enough on my hands down here sorting
out all the crap you're swallowing!"

An aside
While walking I noticed that my palms got cold when inhaling and then
suddenly warm when exhaling. It is almost as if my body breathes through
the skin. I've only tried it once while sitting with my socks off and it
seems to have the same effect on my soles. This is most effective in a
colder room. Well all right - I'm procrastinating.

Continuing
After a few days I decided to yield to conventional wisdom and sit down
meditating, only still breathing deeply. I have read somewhere that you
should meditate for twenty minutes at the time. That is a long time to
stay in the same position, so after five minutes, for some inexplicable
reason, I decided to get down on all fours for the next five.

Here comes the crackpot part. Since it is impossible for me to go on
repeating, I'm alive, due to a brain with a mind of its own (there's a
thought); I got thinking about animals living their lives that way. Then
I remembered reading somewhere that the spine has not yet evolved
perfectly for bipedalism, which is supposed to be the reason why so many
of us have back problems. In evolutionary terms we have in one form or
another spend much more time on all fours than otherwise. Is it possible
then that the immune system has a similar problem and that it functions
better on all fours?

During the following few days I included five minute kneeling with my
forearms on a chair, simulating the spine angle of some of our
ancestors; then for variety, five minutes standing with my forearms
resting on a table.

Finally, as a way of tipping my hat to inactive meditation, I sit on a
chair again for five minutes while breathing normally, still relishing
the rush, which by then feels almost orgasmic - well close. If it's near
bedtime, I'm almost asleep.

If nothing else, changing positions makes the time fly. In addition I
feel rejuvenated and relaxed after each session.

I use my screensaver as a timer, (six minutes by now) which means that
I just have to touch the mouse after each segment. That is thirty
minutes three times a day.  

Gentlemen and - oh yes - ladies, start your critiques please.    

               Ben the contrarian