A couple of years ago it happened: The patient was the middle aged woman
who aggressively assured me she had a prescription waiting. I was just
as certain she did not. "Mary Smith," she said, "Do I have to go home
and get my bottle!?"  Well, I replied, there is nothing here for you.
Her husband stood behind her and rolled his eyes: HE wasn't getting
involved in this. Ten minutes later she returns with a bottle. "Mary
Jones-Smith."

Well, yes, that's my name, she said, "Mary Smith. Mary Jones-Smith." She
even had two profiles. You can't win.

This week the same sort of thing happened again.

I don't care what you call yourself: At least know what it is, and be
consistent.

Also, I work in an area with a lot of immigrants. Many barely speak
English. Some come from countries that barely have a written language,
and many can't read it anyway. And birthdays? We have a lot of people
who are born January 1.

Many of our patients are from Islamic countries: I swear every other one
is named Mohammed. Except, of course, for the ones named Mohammed
Mohammed. And do you know how many ways there are to spell Mohammed?

So what brought this up? I just saw a news story on CNN about a 1 1/2
year old girl who's parents have not named her. That's right, they can't
make up their minds. Isn't that cute?

I'd like to give them a piece of my mind.