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   WASHINGTON, D.C. (Rueters) --
Evolution isn't dead yet but indeed
is on its deathbed, Smithsonian
Institution officials revealed this
morning.
  " Rumors of its death were greatly
exaggerated," said a spokesman,
who declined to be identified.
   "Evolution is still kickin'," he added.
"But it's having difficulty breathing.
We expect the worse at any moment
but that moment hasn't yet arrived."
   Rueters News Agency erroneously
reported Friday that  Evolution had
kicked the bucket. It regrets that error.

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   WASHINGTON, D.C. (Rueters) --
The Theory of Evolution passed
away in its sleep last night,
according to a spokesman for
the Smithsonian Institution. It
died of unnatural causes at
age 159.
    "We're going to need a helluva
bonfire to burn all the books on
evolution," the spokesman said.
    "The thing is, Evolution was in
perfect health until that SOB of
an Ed Conrad came along."
   Meanwhile, McIntosh stock
soared on Wall Street with the
belief that countless evolutionist
proponents will lose their jobs
and soon be selling apples
on the corner."
   "Conrad, who has discovered
petrified human remains between
coal veins, had been making
a monkey out of Charles Darwin
-- (no pun intended -- for almost
15 years," said a spokesman
for the American Civil Liberty
Union.

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The above human skeleton is just one of the nearly 400 fossils and
artifacts on display until Oct. 30 at the Unsolved Mysteries exhibit
in Berlin, Germany. It measures 5.5 inches (14 cm) and was discovered
in South America.

This exhibit in Berlin is the third in a series that previously
attracted curious and open-minded folks in Vienna, Austria, and
Interlaken, Switzerland. Hopefully, it is only the start of a
worldwide tour.

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Larger Photos:
PETRIFIED FINGER AND TOE:

PETRIFIED HUMAN SKULLS

The5.5 inch (14 cm) human female skeleton is just one of the nearly
400 fossils and artifacts on display until Oct. 30 at the Unsolved
Mysteries exhibit in Berlin, Germany. It  was discovered  in South
America.

This exhibit in Berlin is the third in a series that previously
attracted the curious and open-minded in Vienna, Austria, and
Interlaken, Switzerland. r.
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Meanwhile, the fossils that were discovered between coal veins include
Pennsylvania include petrified human fingers (2), petrified human
skulls (2), portions of mandibles, teeth and even soft organs -- not
to mention a giant tooth, a portion of a giant prehistoric scorpion
and a handcarved tool or weapon whittled from wood but which
has since turned to a coal-like substance.

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<       (Petrified coal-age bones, teeth and soft organs)  

OTHER FOSSILS

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Ed Conrad

World Mystery Exhibit

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(Half price for senior citizens accompanied by their
parents.)