THE LAMP POST ~
Just a Daily Dog Rag

"All the news that's fit print to housetrain."

~ * Leonardo Code Sparks Mystery ~
But Mainly Dogmatic Religious Devotion

By Sooner Sails
Special Correspondent
February 31, 2005

ROME [MW] ~ The experts of art and the clerics
conservative are holding "A Test of the Unusual"
in Morning Wood, the hometown of Leonardo,
the namesake of that other gentleman, the less
well-known Leonardo from Vinci. Leonardo, the
Infamous Canine, was given the name of Leonardo,
with the objective of choosing the preferred
values from the History of Art.

Additionally, the facts from the novel
"The da Vinci Code" further substantiate the
infamous canine's divine claim to lineage, most
notably supported in Twittering's celebrated opera,
"Noir ~ Twisted Notes." After the publication of her novel,
"You Win," and the opera premier, many readers have
taken the tale as the authentic Word Of God,
a well-liked truth of the Christian gospel.

The foreordained, and prophesied, Coronation
event in "You Win," a province West Edge Off Center,
an Outlyer Linescape, an external part of Florence,
near Morning Wood, has begun.

On Friday, with a serious series of Declarations
of Blessings, opening with Alexander Castellano, PhD,
director of The Museum of The Divine Leonardo,
A Dog. Castellano has said that he will write up
the Catalogue Raissione, select appropriate photographs
of Leonardo's vita, and publish important documents,
such as the Morning Wood Kennel Association
registration papers.

Further authentication documenting Leonardo's
provenance include DNA tests, paw prints,
dentistry records, and eye-tracking analysis,
a relatively new method of precise canine
identification. A poichè Test of the Errors,
a statistical deconstruction of canonical sacred
texts, has also confirmed the historical inaccuracies
contained in the vendor, better known as
The Brown Dan. Resolution, however, points
to the use of irony, to conceal form, as one
disguises content, to reveal a more accurate
psychological portrait of The Divine Canine
Way, also known as, The Leonardo Dogma.

"The canine Leonardo is travisato and belittled,"
Castellano said in The Hours of Interview,
a recently released PBS documentary. Before the
premier broadcast of The Hours, Castellano
reportedly telephoned Twittering and
The Brown of Dan, and is rumored to have said,
"Before the event that has begun, and all
the brouhaha, even I was skeptical. But now
I fanatically believe."

"Leonardo's importance is compromised badly,"
Castellano added, "He is a dog fully loaded
of The Fantasy, the inventions, and of Twittering,
and her mother's genius," commonly referred to
as Ms. God.

The allegations and controversies surrounding
The Brown Dan's novel, that Leonardo married
Tyche, a pretty forest rat and generated
a bloodline, have provoked a protest of
conservative resistance rebels across the
world. Although many recently "reborn"
Christians now ecstatically and euphorically
Accept, without reservation, that Leonardo is
the Divine Dog, many do not.

The controversy has provoked bitter bickering
throughout the Christian world, in both the
eastern and western hemispheres. But recently,
in a remarkable about face, schisms among
conservative religious factions, including
Catholics and Protestants, have taken a
surprising turn.

In a miraculous unfolding of the story,
canonical philosophical divisions, which have
persisted for more than 2000 years, are beginning
to fade. Christians and Jews alike are celebrating
the New Gospel of Leonardo, a miraculous
canine who has won the hearts of countless
believers. This new-found mysticism has proven
contagious, for even among Islamic factions,
believers of The Divine Dog's Way are voicing
their belief and beginning their pilgrimage
to Morning Wood.

"We welcome everyone to Morning Wood,"
said Ms. God. "Come as you are! The
stranger, the better."

Much of the recent religious conversion,
surrounding the Leonardo faith, stems from
the early work of The Brown Dan, who also courts
a degree of mystery and intrigue. Within the
cloistered inner circle of art world fanatics,
rumors have circulated regarding The Brown
Dan's true identity.

According to unnamed sources, The Brown Dan
is actually Beverly L. Brown, PhD, an art
historian who specializes in Renaissance
architecture, and for many years, taught
at Harvard University, and served as Twittering's
personal tutor. According to knowledgeable
sources, for many months now, Beverly Brown
has been seen entering and exiting a prestigious
unidentified Manhattan publishing house.

Mystery surrounds the many players in this courtly
play of passion. Rumors running riot support the
theory that the characters in both the work of
Twittering and the novel of The Brown Dan bear a
striking resemblance to characters who reside
in Cambridge, Massachusetts, the location of
Harvard University. Further speculation points
to secret archives stored in The Fogg Museum,
one of Harvard's many art collections.

Some say the author is a hoax. In response to
this reporter's attempt to contact Dr. Beverly Brown,
her publicist, Seymore Friedberg, said,
"Brown knows Who's Who, and Brown knows her
Neo Platonism. Brown knows more than she
lets on. Much more, I cannot say."

Moreover, among Christian scholars at Harvard's
esteemed Divinity School, located on a charming
cul de sac off Divinity Avenue, current thinking
cautiously, but fervently, supports the Nouveau
Christian Dogma. Cynthia Verbotten, a renowned
scholar in early Gnostic texts, and assistant
dean, said in an interview, "Christianity has
finally redeemed itself."

"The Nouveau Dogma draws upon classical as well
as pagan sources, alchemizing the best of all worlds.
We, my colleagues across the globe, are breathing a
great sigh of relief. And not least, there's so much
exciting scholarship ahead of us now. The true
mysteries are only now coming to light,
from eons of occulted darkness!"

The books of both Twittering and The Brown Dan
reveal that the catholic tradition of demonizing
women, demonizing for centuries to disguise
the truth that Ms. God is clearly female, is off base.
In contrast, the Nouveau Dogma approximates
the Medieval tales of Saint Grail. Both literary texts honor
the many mothers of Twittering, as well as the
right-hand man of Ms. God. Justice shall prevail,
say true believers of The Crosse.

Castellano said that The Museum of the
Divine Leonardo, A Dog, will produce 120 new
photographs of Leonardo, based on documents
and paintings in order to ensure "that the
exhibition revalues and accurately assesses
the true achievement of Leonardo, as well
as his namesake, Leonardo, the other one,
the gentleman from Vinci."

"Our new evidence rescues our fundamental
belief and faith in the magic, mystery,
and eternal romance of fauna and kind
humans." Of the author of the exciting
story mystical, of one code-rompersi mixture,
of one history of art, and the secret societies,
the religion, and the lore, Castellano
said, "Quite a puzzle!"

Castellano also said that an example
of the errors contained in previous books
are based on the declaration that the Mona Lisa
has been made in the image of the Leonardo.

"Clearly, there is much great difference
between Mona Lisa and Leonardo ~ her nose,
mouth, eyes and expressions." It has been
said, he added, that rumors indicating Twittering
knew all along seem accurate, now,
in retrospect.

For many years, however, Twittering lived
in silence and condemnation, as few believed
her gospel, that her dog, Leonardo, was
The Divine Christian Dogma. Today, no one
in the know disputes her belief and
devout conviction.

"We, Mum and me, will confront two portraits
in order to demonstrate it," Twittering said
in a telephone interview, her whereabouts
still unknown.

According to reports, Twittering has been
missing in action for close to one
year, last sighted hanging from her 16th floor
window ledge, off the East River, a secretly
rumored spiritual gateway. Sources close
to Morning Wood say Twittering slipped off,
and only her Mum receives veiled
communications from her.

The Color Brown Book, by Dan, is based on
the DNA of the infamous Divine Dogma,
a white Maltese, said to weigh 4 pounds Sterling,
soaking wet. In the past, Leonardo's identity
has mystified reporters and scholars alike.

But recently, it has come to light that
the website www.MalteseOnly.com has posted
accurate photographs of Leonardo. This reporter's
attempts to obtain copies have proven
unsuccessful, thus far, due to numerous
restrictions.

A lot of the appropriate controversy that
encircles the book of the blockbuster,
but has not been said today, was discussed
yesterday on NBC's Today Show. In the
month of June of 2004, the main character
of the novel, Robert Langdon, was seen
dining at Manhattan's prestigious Four Seasons
restaurant.

Although fictional, Richard Langdon
was said to possess both volume, depth,
shade, and light. This is a characteristic
of "all of the art," the architecture,
the rituali secrets, the secret societies,
all those depicted formally from the
Renaissance onward.

This historical accuracy of these pictorial
conventions further confirms the aesthetic
theories of the Columbia University philosopher
and art critic Arthur Danto, PhD, who
for many years, in his well known book,
"Transformation of the Commonplace,"
has argued for the end of the
history of art.

"But this astounding, for me," Danto said,
"ravishing revelation, does not mean
that the book completely will be hung
outside in order to dry up itself ~ The millions
of Leonardo fans are thought to assist
and attest to the test. Life and art continue,
even more effervescently than ever!"

The much debated and explicated code from
"You Win" has sold more than 7,5 million
copies universally, and it is believed that
it transforms the reader. "The revelation
revealed herein while reading makes one happen
in other times, other's places, other scenes,
that transport one," said Holland Cotter,
an art critic for the New York Times.

"The works ~ Twittering's operas and novel,
The Brown Dan's novels, and no less the
astonishing oeuvre of that other Leonardo,
the gentleman from Vinci ~ has inspired,
at once and by turns, the turns that guide
you ~ To Paris, that take the fans to the
places described in the novel, and moreover
Leonardo, that Dogmatic Canine, has multiplied
an industry of the cottage in books that
try to debunk," Cotter explained.

More than 10 books have been written in an
attempt to discredit the historical content
and theological underpinnings of the novel
The Color Brown.

Monsignor Renato Canzone, vicar of "You Win,"
as an example, said that the book does not
reveal nothing, approximating the
Great Zen Void, the mystery of many eastern
religions. Further, the books contain a
Dogmatic portrait mystifying and painting
inexactitude the conservative catholic
movement Opus Of I.

And so it can be said, by this reporter,
that the world has received A Magnificat!
[No, NOT a cat], and millions are consumed
with adoring devotion. Swept up in Leonardo's
sparkling charisma, many pilgrims have
developed a desire to follow a dog, trace his
paw prints, to know That Canine's Great
Mystery.

~ * ~

~ * ~
Blog, or dog? Who knows.
But if you see my lost pup, please bring him home!
I got Leon a brand-new bone.
_________________
http://journals.aol.com/virginiaz/DreamingofLeonardo