Communications decoding problem
Hello folks, I work with someone who the entire office
has had problems communicating with. She is a 52 year old
female who is not able to discern emotional content in
speech unless she sees body language also.
We've been working with her for five years and everyone
in the office has at one point or another had
serious communications difficulties with her.
She is a native English speaker, and has no hearing
deficits.
She has a habit of phoning or emailing her husband when
something distressing at work happens, but we're usually
left quite puzzled as to what seems to distress her.
To give illustrative examples...
If one of us says "I could kill whoever didn't replace
the toner cartiridge in the copier," and she does not see
their expression, she believes that (if it was her) she
is being threatened. The rest of us just hear
exasperation and hot air - no action intended.
If one of us says "I'm thrilled to be here at work" from
behind our monitor, she might ask "Why? Work's boring!"
If she sees the person say it, she'll see their smirk and
get that it's made in jest.
Any ideas? I work with her and in five years I don't think she's being
deliberately obtuse. I seriously think she has a problem.
FWIW, she is almost totally devoid of showing emotion herself. We joke that
if the building were burning, she'd calmly state "Fire." then slowly walk
out. She does get excited occasionally when talking about her hobbies, but
other than that... nothing.
I thought maybe amusia or tone deafness might be involved, but I cannot
find anything on the Internet about this as it related to communication.
Please post replies here.
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search engine string follows
iniiti porsorific
Peter T. Daniels - 03 May 2005 23:16 GMT
> Communications decoding problem
>
[quoted text clipped - 54 lines]
>
> Please post replies here.
"Here" is sci.lang, which has no particular qualifications to deal with
this query. Sounds like garden-variety autism to me.

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Peter T. Daniels grammatim@att.net
John Swindle - 04 May 2005 11:22 GMT
>> Communications decoding problem
>>
[quoted text clipped - 59 lines]
> "Here" is sci.lang, which has no particular qualifications to deal with
> this query. Sounds like garden-variety autism to me.
You have given the original poster a good clue for further searches.
A humorous look from the other side of the fence is available at
http://isnt.autistics.org/
The original poster, having already figured out that the co-worker
can understand emotional content in facial expression but not in
tone of voice and that this is a communications issue, might want
to start thinking about communication strategies. Would it be
better to do talk face-to-face more often? Would it be better to
include more explicit statements about mood (in the sense of
happy, sad, joking, etc.) in office conversation, or would that just
lead to an increased urge to make the co-worker wrong? Would
increased use of e-mail help by leveling the playing field?
Peter T. Daniels - 04 May 2005 13:35 GMT
> >> Communications decoding problem
> >>
> >> Hello folks, I work with someone who the entire office
> >> has had problems communicating with. She is a 52 year old
> >> female who is not able to discern emotional content in
> >> speech unless she sees body language also.
<...>
> >> Please post replies here.
> >
[quoted text clipped - 14 lines]
> lead to an increased urge to make the co-worker wrong? Would
> increased use of e-mail help by leveling the playing field?
Last night's Law & Order double-header (SVU and TbJ) showed exactly the
opposite take on Asperger's (a form of autism): Alfred Molina trusted
people's words rather than their body language. (He was made into a
rapist by his super-overbearing mother, Angela Lansbury essentially
reprising her role in The Manchurian Candidate more than forty years
ago.)

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Peter T. Daniels grammatim@att.net
fauche - 04 May 2005 15:10 GMT
I think she is very innocent and insecure, that why she is acting like
that, may be some problem with psychology. If you take her in
confidence then i think people like that woman can be very nice also.
Dejr Fauche
Prai Jei - 04 May 2005 19:18 GMT
Anonymous (or somebody else of the same name) wrote thusly in message
<Xns964B99AD0D75Crogerdtesseractorg@69.28.186.158>:
> Communications decoding problem
>
[quoted text clipped - 54 lines]
>
> Please post replies here.
Bad case of Aspergers' I would say.

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The problem it was designed to solve, wasn't a problem.
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