Thanks for reading. I've never been to this group before, just picked
it up while googling and now posting now that I need some help.

I suspect my replies are going to be in the vein of "get yourself to
the ER room now!!!" type calls. However, although financially stable I
do not ever have a doctor, because I have a terrifying fear of all
medical matters - and now I have a problem which I suspect is a doozy.

I'm a white 34-yro male, overweight (266 pounds), 5 foot 8 in height.
Overall quality of heath is very good, no squeaks normally, don't
smoke or drink. Exercise regime poor to nil, office workplace.

I have no medical training whatsoever.

I have had flu for the last five days  -it was quick onset, I have it
a few times each year, no big deal.

Earlier this week, while sitting on the couch, I coughed and felt a
mildly sharp pain right over the spleen. The initial pain went away
within a few minutes, but the paracetamol I was taking for the flu
probably contributed to that.

Since then, and up until last night, I was felling this pain whenever
I coughed, but to diminishing strengths. So I put the whole case down
to a stomach muscle pulled while coughing. I was also getting used to
the pain (which was diminishing to the point where I'm sure it would
have gone in a few days - I've had pulled stomach muscles before!), to
the point I found where if I pushed down on my diaphragm to stiffen my
abdominal walls, I could cough with minimal pain.

IT was while doing this last night during a particular bad cough that,
from the same area, I felt what would not be exaggerated to be the
worst abdominal pain I have ever felt in my entire life - it was like
I imagined a blunt knife going in. It immediately gave me trembling
hands, apprehension, sweating. It didn't paralyse me, but the pain
took much longer to subside completely this time - it also felt
"different" to the earlier pain, which has gone. The fact that one
seemed to take over from the other and in the same region seemed to
connect them, but otherwise they seemed different in severity and
type.

Now, I am unable to cough at all without felling a *severe* burning
sensation over my spleen - this hasn't abated over the last six hours
sleep. My motions aren't solid enough to need assistance to expel, but
if they did I suspect I would be in some trouble.

In most ways it's like a pulled stomach muscle - it's affecting my
range of abdominal movement without pain, I can't stretch that side.
But the severity of the pain is breathtaking - it has one setting, and
it's *very* *severe*.

My gut feeling is that I've somehow done a mischief with my spleen -
the pain is just too severe to be muscular, it's far beyond what I've
ever experienced before.

There are no external marks or lumps (I first suspected a hernia!), my
abdomen feels normal apart from the bottom of my ribs on my left side,
just as if I'd been punched there. slight pressure brings discomfort.
Can't really localise more than that.

I haven't collapsed yet, but you can imagine what's going through my
head - any constructive comments would be welcome.