Okay, well.

when my new rheumatologist called me on Friday, she was very specific.  She
said "if you have pain or tightness in your chest, or have light-headed or
dizzy, vertiginous feelings, get to the hospital.  Well that is exactly what
happened at about 3pm on Saturday when I stood up from this computer after
several hours of reading and writing.

So I got my data together, (you know, like a list of the 15 meds I take
everyday to keep the lupus and other side effects away), told my neighbors
in the other half of this duplex that I was going to the hospital, and on
the off chance that they would possibly keep me... to take care of my
kitties.

A big thing I can be thankful for is that I am not afraid of hospitals or
intimidated by the medical profession (it was my chosen field of work).  I
really felt like sh.t after getting my things together and driving myself to
the ER.  I told the first free person wearing a scrub that I was having
cardiac symptoms.  They live for that in the ER.  They sucked me in like a
vacuum cleaner and got me lying down with monitor and EKGs, stat labs.
Shortly after they pronounced me "stabilized" Some kind of big trauma case
came into the ER...multiple patients taped to back boards being run through
the hall. This is when I saw Pigmet, out in the hallway, trying to get to
me.  I told him "Met!  Go home!  It was nice of you to come, but these
fire-rescue guys are going to step on you!

Because of the trauma cases, they had to move me and my gurney and all my
electronics into the hallway.  I was finding this all both fascinating and
hilarious (being in the hall, that is), but when the cardiologist came and
said my EKG looked bad and I was going to be admitted, I was not quite so
light hearted.  I did however remind myself how many times I had been
working in an ER, and was so fatigued that I would have given just about
anything to be able to lie down on one of the gurneys!

So you know the whole admission process happened and they took me up to the
third floor to a room that said "Oncology."  "Oncology? What am I doing in
oncology?" "This is the only bed we had free." "Oh. Okay.  My head can be
considered a tumor anyway..."  Everyone at Memorial Hospital was *so* nice,
I felt bad to be getting irritable.  They kept stabbing me for lab tests,
and doing repeat EKGs, and I just wanted to lie down and be left alone.  An
untalented phlebotomist left me with a big hematoma on my arm :-/

I was scared for myself, as I said, but fortune had me in that Oncology
ward.  How self-piteous can you be, when your roommate has metastatic
ovarian cancer?  She was an old German woman, who had been fighting her
battle for quite a while. She was sweet.  We had a few very tender
conversations.  She likes Johnny Cash, and I told her how my stepfather sat
me down with a guitar shortly after he came into my life, and had me playing
"I Walk the Line"!  This story was under the subject we were having about
the moments of unadulterated love that we have had in our lives.  She had
been in Germany during WWII, and now here she was, in her old age, just
wanting to get home to her doggies.

My cardiologist came, rather late this afternoon (Sunday). and the verdict
is that I have not had a heart attack.  He said I may have lupus-related
pericarditis, or pleurisy, or both...and that outpatient testing will begin
tomorrow (that's Monday, 9/29).  My brother has lupus and has had both of
these conditions

I am possibly going to have an "adenosine stress test," which I have never
heard of before.  Have any of you (if you are still reading this letter!)
ever had this?  Apparently they inject contrast medium into a vein, so they
can see the heart, and this procedure is in lieu of a treadmill stress test.
Or he may just decide on the treadmill test. Then, the Dr. said, we will
just keep going down the line, ruling out things.  He didn't leave me
hanging. He said we have to find out what this is.

Oh Goody,

Once the doc said I could go. I was out of there in a flash!  I was
exhausted.  I drove home, and there was Pigmet waiting for me.  He ran and
gave me a hug around my knees.  I told him, "Its' okay, It's fine.  They are
taking care of me, and now-here at home-you can take care of me, okay?"  He
said that the whitewater rafting season in his world is over, so he will
stay here to be with me.  If I am feeling well enough, I will go over to his
land.  It is very beautiful and peaceful there.

Oh, I wanted to mention how neat the technology is.  I haven't been an
acute-care hospital patient for over 8 years.  I couldn't believe all the
little computer gizmos they had.  They use things like cell phones to keep
patients on telemetry, so we are not cords to a beeping machine by the side
of the bed.  The laboratory now uses a thing like a "palm pilot" that is
part of the computer base system in the lab, and replaces the large printers
we used to have to use.  The patient labels print right out of the palm
pilot thingy at the patient's bedside.  The phlebotomist said "Yeah this
thing is great. when it works!  When it doesn't, it is a nightmare!"  So
essentially hospital labs are still the same. part intrigue, and part
nightmare!  That's the nature of the beast.

THANK YOU to Sherry and Jay for your posts of care and concern.  J, any
friend I know is also a fiend, so I know what you mean.  I am your fiend,
too.

I will keep you all apprised, as my testing continues.

If you have an extra prayer, or whatever, you can send it to my roommate
Gudrun, who has ovarian cancer.  So many people withdraw (in fear of their
own vulnerability?) from a person who is about to cross over in to our next
lives.  I hated to leave her there.

Okay, enough rambling from me,

Love to you,

Mair

P.S: and your Devoted Nephew, Pigmet