I get upset, think of ways "THEY " are wrong. Mad, cuss a lot, YES I do!!
and sometimes rag on and on about it and not let it rest.  Man that is a
lot to do but I got time on my hands anyhow :)

I just react a lot, I surely do not quit fighting, I more or less just
mouth about it haha.....

support from my lupus chat site every wed, as well as my friends, sis and
part of my family. Hubby just smiles and lets me ramble hehehe

Rant?  well what's wrong with that? I do it, and to me that is a release
valve till I get guts and confront what happened

welcome
me

I am frustrated by the people who look at me and because my face is always
pink they do not believe I am sick or they think I am a hypochondriac. I am
beside myself when it is my family saying these things. I have bipolar
disorder as well so I have been going to years of therapy. It is only with
this help that I am now able to disregard negative comments. They still hurt
when said by I am able to let go of them and not internalize them. I find
the depression which is real that comes with Lupus makes it even more
difficult to react to negative comments and thus hurt feelings. I have been
on antidepressants for a long time but it was not until I took Prozac that I
started to feel better. Other antidepressants did nothing. The combination
of meds and talk therapy works best for me. A depression group was really
good for me. I still can talk about lupus but I learned how to cope with
negative thoughts and feelings. This worked for me and I do not say this is
what all should do but it worked for me so far. I still go to a mental
health support group every week as we have no lupus support group in our
town.
Janice in BC

Paulette,
I guess I react in different ways.  If someone says something that I
thing is insensitive or harsh to me, I usually address it say, "why
would you say that?" or "you don't have to say it like that."  That's
usually with my boyfriend.  Other times I just brush it off and ignore
it because with a lot of people it's just a waste of breath.

As far as people not inviting me along sometimes, I might say in a nice
way, "Oh, I wish I'd known. I would have loved to join you guys."
Sometimes people just overlook or assume I'll be too tired to do
things.  If someone invites me to somethign and I can't go or I have to
back out because of being sick, I usually say, "but please don't count
me out next time.  I really would like to go."  I've had to suck up
some of my pride and explain to a few people that when I cancel on
things that it is because of this unpredictable illness, but that I
want to participate when I can.  I've noticed that I still get invites
when things are going on, so I guess it worked.  Otherwise people might
think you don't go to things just because you're not interested.

I guess we all handle situations differently.  I usually try to take a
proactive approach...if something's not going the way I want then I do
what I can to make it go the way I want, and the rest, I just don't
sweat.  Some things aren't worth the mental stress and anguish.  I used
to dwell and agonize and it was kind of a way of commisserating over
things...just making myself more miserable, and I just realized how
self-defeating that was, and I worked hard to  break that habit.

Sometimes I don't want people to know that I'm sick...it's like it's my
secret.  Sometimes I wish they knew, though, so they might take it
easier on me.  The thing is we can't expect people to read our minds.
Sometimes you just have to spell it out to people.  I pick and choose
when to talk about the autoimmune disease...because I don't wanna be
going around with that as a crutch and sound like "feel sorry for me,
please...I'm sick."  At the same time, I think it's important to stop
sometimes and say, "look, I am sick.  I don't want it to be like this,
and I'm not asking for sympathy, but please work with me here."

I think this google group can be a good support group.  It has for me
so far.  Finding people who can relate...and sometimes encourage me and
help calm my fears and concerns--it's priceless.

Have I rambled on?  I hope not. :-)  Just trying to offer
support....hang in there.

Michelle

Hi Paulette,

I get mad, boy do I get mad.  I get so mad my eyes cross.  But I don't
say anything about it, which makes me madder.  This has caused me to
have high blood pressure, no kidding!  My Mom upset me one morinig and
I knew my blood pressure had to be up, and it was so I went to the doc
the next day and it was still high.  *sigh*  I always end up doing more
damage to myself than to others.  I'd had to learn this because I
always had a bad temper before and felt guilty for the things I said
and did about it, so now at least I'm not hurting anyone but myself.

I'm bipolar too Janice.  I understand, it makes it that much worse.

Krista