Yes, well, that's not just specific to Lupus.
Some prople (general public) just do the minimum expected.
some are go-getters (type A personality).
Some push themselves to do more. The reasons might be financial or enjoying
what they do or feeling pressure to perform or worry about losing their job or
worry about flares (so do more when they feel well) (see below re
repercussions).. Pacing, I would think is key.
Environement/work pressures vary.
One place I worked longterm, there were only 5 people and the workload kept
gorwing, the more we did, the more was expected. If any of us slacked, the
whole office suffered. Taking time off for sick or holiday, just resulted in
more stress, because the pils had to be addressed upon return and more
urgently.
In that place, the first weeks i was there the boss told me he'd never hired
anyone so old.
They were all in their early 30's. I was only 40 !! But he ribbed me for 7
years about that, so that puts a lot of pressure on to prove that a person can
do as good as the young'uns and I did.
Some people put pressure on themselves for perfection even in the home.
Others are more laissez faire and don't sweat the small stuff.
Some are slackers, just like in the real world.
Some push themselves so they won't be perceived as slackers.
It varies.
Try making dates with her to slow her down. A massage, a picnic, relief from
making dinner, an afternoon at the park or library, help with the laundry,
little things every day, make a big difference,but don't enable her to push
herself harder.

Yes, I think Bill answered that one.

Some people with lupus push themselves to the point of flares.
Others pace themselves. One friend of mine is like that. Another is the
reverse.
There's a few here like that. No matter what we say - they keep on going like
the energizer bunny.

Oh and what I see on this newsgroup, is many don't tell the worst that's
happening.
Maybe because they think others have it worse then they do and they don't want
to be perceived as whining?.
J

Hi Ofrix, actually, Peter Schur co-wrote the book 'In Search of the Sun'
with Henrietta Aladjem & her 1st book was 'The Sun is my Enemy' & she
founded the Lupus Foundation. She's an awesome lady. Way back when I was
'trying' to get a dx, Dr. Schur & I corresponded by mail, since I'm in
Akron, OH. I think you've got one of the best docs in the world; tell him
Candi Bowen says hi, if he remembers me. I wrote a few articles for
Henrietta's newsletter that she published, with me on my horse. My doc at
University Hosp in Cleveland, Ali Askari, says my animals have probably kept
me alive, even tho they're tons of work! But I love them. I was also dx'd at
30 & am now 49 & since I've hit menopause have been doing much better,
except for joint pain. I can live with that. Hope you feel better too.
Candi