My depression seems to be doing better.  I had to attend a bbq and to be
honest I think that helped.  I went online and did a search for lupus
and depression, some sites gave a list of warning signs and I fit a lot
of em.  They also had warning signs on when to call the doctor, and I
think that had I of not gone to that bbq it would of gotten to that
point.

Some of you wanted to know what meds I take.  Here is a list of all my
meds, but it is a long list and some meds I don't see why I even take it
but here go's.

1. Keppra 500mg 3 tabs in the morning and thee tabs at night.

2. Prilosec 20mg cr 1 cap at night

3.  Piroxicam 20 mg cap, 1 at bedtime

4. Singular 10 mg one a day

5. Bumetanide 2mg tab in the morning

6. Cardizem 120mg er cap 1 on the morning and 1 and bedtime.

7. Clarinex 5 mg.  1 in the morning.

8. Klor-Con 8 8meq er.  1 tab in the morning.

9. Darvaset 1 tab as needed for pain.

10. Concerta 36 mg sr 1 cap in the morning.

11. Dapsone 25 mg two tabs in the morning.

12. Centrum Vit.  One in the morning.

13. Pulmicort Turbuhaler 2 puffs twice a day.

14.  Combivent Inhaler 2 puffs 4 times a day.

15. Atrovent Inhaler 2 puffs twice a day.

16. Albuterol Inhaler 2 puffs twice a day.

17.  Z-pack for lung infection 1 pill a day until gone.

The cardizem, klor-kon, and the bumix the doc put me on when I was in
the hospital batteling a lung infection a few years ago.  When they
finally did send me home they sent me home with 180 mg a day of
prednisone and a very slow taper off at that.  Anyways I gained over 50
pound in a months time.  All the weight went to my feet and legs and it
got to the point i could not lift my legs then I could not walk so they
started me on that bumix and the first week taking it I lost I think it
was 17 pound the first week.  That's when they started me on that
cardizem and klor kon.  My bp is usually low anyways.  I still take
those meds doc just said I have to take em,  I also have a low plus if
that helps around 50-60 beats a minute.

Now for that keppra stuff, its a drug that neuro put me on he said I
have some partial complex seizure disorder thingy.  My reg doc does not
think I have and suspects a cns lupus, she also mentioned those brain
lesions and also mentioned possible ms.  Well my neuro did not test me
for ms and merely said oh you don't have it.  I take the keppra because
I will be talking and get a blank stare or forget what I was talking
about and my words never come out right, its like I suddenly forgot how
to talk.

My reg doc sees a lot of <i don't know how to say it> congenital,
cognitive?  Problems and has told my mother she has concerns about that
like my adl's.

I was taking topamax it did actually pretty good until neuro up it to
like 250 or 350 I can't remember.  After he upped it, I was laying in
bed <this happened twice> and it was like my brain woke up but the rest
of my body was paralyzed, I could not move, I don't even think I was
breathing, I could not open my eyes and I remember thinking help and
when I tried to say help I could not move my body.  Then next thing I
knew I was gasping for air and my bf shaking me yelling at me are you ok
and I was confused and very scared.  When I told my reg doc that she
then decided to slowly take me off the topamax.  Even tho I said just
decrease she said no I want you off of it.  And because my neuro never
returned her calls to discuss this matter after many attempts she made
the decision to take me off it.  When I went back to see neuro, I walked
in he said how many seizures have you had, he is mean.  I said how would
I know.  He did hand tests, eye tests and stability tests then when I
would start shaking he got mad and said stop shaking, I told him I can't
help it, and he told me oh your just nervous.  So he put me on that
keppra and said come back in either 6 months or 8 I forgot which.

And when I first started that keppra I was very lethargic like, I
couldn't even drive.  Mum told me I have this stare on my face all the
time.  Those side effects have subsided some but I still have em tho
just not near as bad.  Sometimes I think that Keppra is what is sending
me into this whirl wind depression even tho I have been on it for like 4
or 6 months.

The concerta I take for two reasons, one is because I am add and the
other is for my fatigue.  The dreaded fatigue that everyone here has
experienced.  I have taking the concerta for years now.  It does great
for my attention but lately doesn't help much for my fatigue like it use
to.  I wonder is this due to the fatigue and the lupus or is it
something else like adl's.

My adl's are getting worse for example I need to be reminded to eat
other wise I will not eat because I don't think about it.  There have
been times when my bf will ask me if I am hungry and I say no but he
will fix me some soup or a sandwich anyways, or he will ask me ok what
did you eat today and when I think and say I have not ate anything he
gets mad especially when its 8 at night.

I have court next month for my ssi its that continuation from the law
judge.  I hope I get it.  It would be bitter sweet if I did.  I don't
think I could work full time and my doctors agree, but gosh just a part
time job I would be happy as pigs in mud.  Just doing something even if
I didn't get payed for it like volunteer work I would be happy with.  My
bf said if I try and get a job social security will take my money away,
but I also herd that social security will help rehabilitate you even
with adl's.  I would sure like to get help with my adl's and help teach
me how to cook and budget, and even maybe a part time job.
Or Volunteer work.  Well that is my update.  Sorry for this being so
dreadfully long.  ((((((((((hugs to everyone)))))))))  Melody aka
lupielassy