I think you have every right in the world to feel the way you do about male
drs. I think females understand females more than a male/ female dr/ pt
relationship.
In fact I prefer female drs to male just because they are more understanding
and are better listeners in general.

<snip> invasive so I only see him for colds and such. I do not have a gyn
anymore,

oh.. okay... I was this close to chastising you... :-)

you bet - and now and then I have to see my GPs partner if she's on vacation
or something.  He's a nice guy and has never had need to examine me
directly.  And the doctor my daughter and husband saw regularly was
excellent.  He was our family doc for 25 years.  Always trusted him with my
daughter and my hubby and would have continued to go to him except that we
moved too far away for me to safely get to his office when sick.

k

I'm fortunate in that I live near one of the largest Medical centers in the
world and have access to all sorts of docs.  Including a good solid dozen
hematologists that are female and in network (#**&$ing HMOs!)

Definitely - hubby chooses only male docs and thus far no one has said he
was ridiculous or aberrant for doing so!

Agreed - if I didn't have a choice and the female doc was an unmitigated
***ch, then I'd go with the doctor that was best.  I've had my fair share of
bad female docs - which did not at all fit the "female docs are more caring"
concept.  And this doc I saw last week was one of these.  But my gripe with
her was the way she treated me emotionally and verbally.  I could report her
(she broke the new confidentiality laws at least once) but truthfully, I
need to get past this somehow and move on.  I was able to vent a bit to a
friend last night but even then didn't go into every detail of what happened
because it just angers me too much.

It should be stated that I really haven't had many male docs at all and only
a couple that were bad experiences.  It is simply a matter of my comfort
level and I can't understand a doctor who thinks that a patient doesn't have
a right to that comfort level.

ah well...

Do you think all the pain has made your body off limits to everyone/most
everyone? I know some people do like to be touched, period. Just wondering
if all the pain has contributed to those feelings.
Bev

well - the fact that I got into it with a female doc over how I don't want
her male "junior" doing the exam doesn't speak well of her either.  ugh.. it
was just a horrible horrible experience.  Whatever happened to "bedside
manners" and the new privacy laws?

to me, Massage is way too intimate.  I see these stupid shows like "blind
date" that show people having met each other all of 10 minutes stripping
down to exchange massages.  I guess I'm just old-fashioned but... <shudder>

I appreciate your response, Leslie.  I Really do.  I've been very fortunate
to have found the docs I have (all female, all good people who treat me with
respect, and their nurses are great too) but this latest problem has really
left a scar.

I've had 2 female docs - oh wait THREE now - that were that way.  I can't
really get into it here but it's not about the personality as frankly, if
someone is bitchy but a good doc, I can deal with it.  Don't like it but can
set it aside.  My issue is not about "bedside manner" but about the general
threat of male authority to female patient.  I have had some bad experiences
there.

well - "student" may be more part of her problem than "female" - but you
never know.

one of the best docs my family has ever seen is male and took care of most
of my family for 25 years.

regardless of the gender of the doctor - there should be a sensitivity to
the emotional needs of the patient not just the physical - and this was
sorely lacking in the case of this recent doctor visit. She and her male
"junior" were offensive, rude, etc.