Aw Maggie, I am so happy to hear from you even though things haven't been so
good for you lately.
I am so sorry to hear about your troubles and the loss of your uncle.
Doctors sometimes tend to "sell/prescribe" what the latest
pharmaceutical/rep dropped off or stopped in to "sell" .
Surely your doctor can find an antidepressant that works for you but isn't
so expensive. There's so many out there.

( ( ( Maggie ) ) ) )
J

Hi Maggie,
We did worry about you. You are such an important part of the group. Things
have been tough for you. I can see that. I am so pleased to see a post from
you. I hope now that things will settle down and we will see you regularly
again. Hugs to you, my dear.
BJ-Sk. Canada

I'm so sorry I worried you guys.  Where do I begin....The fatigue?
Blood tests were okay, folic acid now in progress.  I'm to jump back up
to 25mg of MTX if these symptoms don't subside from the 2.5mg increase
soon.  My new GP wants me on an anti-depressant.  He said he had samples
& I told him not unless he could guarantee those samples will continue
to be there.  I'd rather deal with it as is, than have to come off of it
in a few months because it costs more than my house payment.  I did tell
him I'd check into a few programs offered by the drug companies via
Eckerd.com.

When my energy started inching back, my 83 y/o uncle died.  We would've
expected him to die during or after the surgery to remove a tumor from
his colon, but not a week after being at home, recovering well.  Too
many emotions within a 3 day period & back to bed I went...for several
days.  It wasn't just death, but I found myself having to explain to
people just why I haven't been in touch & then to see my brother, whom I
haven't seen since Christmas.  He doesn't even ask how I am, neither
does his wife *or* their daughter.  I'm so used to it, but when you
throw it in with a funeral, it bites quite a bit harder.

When I went to get online to find the apps for the drug programs, my
printer fizzled out for the umpteenth time--I don't even claim I have
one cuz it's just haunted.  I unplugged it & messed with it a bit & then
my antenna fell & hit a slightly exposed plug in the surge strip just
right. Sparks flew, lights went out, I went to bed.

Couple days later I went to go start my car, it was dead.  Took out the
battery & took it up to the auto store only to be told it was fine.
Came home, hooked it back up & it started right up.  Then I recovered
from lifting & carrying that bugger for a couple of days & then took my
car to the garage to find out just why it's possessed.  Finally a CGT
(which I'm still recovering from, but so glad to do it).  My neighbor
followed me to drop my car off & we went garage saling & out for lunch.
I hadn't eaten a meal with another human since Christmas (and that's
questionable)--We were to have dinner after my uncles funeral, but I
came home to grab some pills, change into pants & put my flowers in
water & Lucy had jumped the fence, so, yeah, say it with me...I went to
bed.

I'm cc-ing this to Mair, Pigmet & Bev & every relative in my inbox too.

down, it's so much easier to just stay & I find myself really wanting to
do just that.  But I won't.  It's just so hard to rebuild the strength
when you lose it.  After 5 garage sales & lunch, I got home with my car
& went to bed for 5 hours, got up for 4, went back to bed for 7 hours,
got up for 1 hour & right back to sleep for 5 more.

Again, I'm really sorry for the worry.  I just haven't felt like going
through the emotions to explain my absence & with one thing after
another too....  I can't tell you how much it does my heart good to know
I was missed.

Looks like I have an awful lot to catch up on too.  Just where do y'all
get off yacking like this while I'm gone anyway?!! :-?

I hope this finds everyone doing okay.  To J & BJ & Bev: I just want you
to know that you've been in my heart with your losses. I find myself
getting closer to my babies every day & thoughts of your babies have
made me hug mine a little tighter & a lot more often.

With Love,
Maggie