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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Herpes / August 2005Tiredness, and pains
hi there, wondering if anybody can help me in this field..Bit of a love triangle, hope you dont mind the history around this...it is important.. a couple of years ago, i started to see this girl,she did at the time have a boyfriend, we did have protected sex, but i gave her oral sex...i believe I passed Herpes onto her through me having a coldsore (HSV-1)unfortunately she was still having unprotected sex with her boyfriend, and he developed (HSV-2) full blown genital herpes....so know she is a carrier, she has never developed genital herpes, she never gets cold sores, but is increasingly tired, and has aching joints..could this be a cause of her being a carrier of herpes....i also cannot understand if I gave her oral sex, why she didnt get Genital Herpes, but her then partner did.... a bit confused about the whole thing hoping somebody can help me Thanks Michael michael.writes: >Bit of a love triangle <snip> >cannot understand if I gave her oral sex, why she didnt get >Genital Herpes, but her then partner did.... Sounds like more than a triangle to me. Maybe a rectangle? First, lets get the basics straight. The terms "Oral" and "Genital" refer to locations, not types. In other words, if you transmitted your oral type 1 herpes to her genitals, then she would have type 1 genital herpes, not type 2. So the only type she could transfer to anyone else is type 1, not type 2..... unless she already had type 2 from someone other than you.(having both types at the same location is possible). The only other way the guy could have turned up with type 2 is if there were another girl involved. Thus the "love rectangle" I refered to above. All the above assumes other variables as well. Like for instance, you don't have type 2. But fact is, most people with type 2 don't know they have it (same for type 1). There just aren't any symptoms in most cases. How do you know which "type" you have? (type 2 oral is rare but it's possible). And I'm not sure I understand your statement about "why she didnt get Genital Herpes". How do you know that? Lack of symptoms are not an indication of lack of infection. .... or maybe I've just misread your message. Or how about this scenario... you kissed her and transferred your oral type 1 to her lips. Then she gave HIM oral sex and transfered type 1 to his genitals. In which case, he ended up with type 1 genital not type 2. They look the same. The only way to tell the difference is with a lab test. Has he had one? I hope all this didn't confuse the issue any more than it already is. But Herp can really get confusing sometimes. Anyhow, post again if you have any questions. Or otherwise let us know how it all works out. M2 Hi thanks for the speedy reply...blinking heck it is all very complicated isnt it.. i just "assumed"---I know that is a dangerous word----that my explanation above was the only way it could have been, so my confusion is not helped by your words I am afraid.. ha ha Me and the girl in question are now engaged, but she is worried that (again assumtions) the herpes(whatever strain she has) is affecting her health other than sexual health if you know what I mean.. this has never been far away from our heads and guilt has set in deep, she was in friendly contact with him up until recently, when he shunned her...we think(strong rumours) he has given the genital Herpes onto somebody other than his partner, obviously causing as much unrest as a few years ago did have a good conversation with my Fiance, and shetels me that she gets all upset everytime i get a coldsore, and her mind wanders back to them times when it wasnt so good(i get coldsores every other month, so you can imagine my predicament) I/we didnt get tested at the time of this, maybe in light of the confusion surrounding all of this, then maybe it would be the best cause of action for us both... He did get a test at the time, but not sure of a his results....not in any position to ask him for them either.. ha!! Thanks Michael Hi Michael, Glad you are realizing how complicated it all can be. :) Your fiance needs to work on her guilt. That certainly won't help her to get healthy. Secondly, her symptoms are very vague and could be anything. She should get to a doctor and have a physical done to see what's up. Could be anything. Blood tests for herpes are always a good thing. It's best to know what's going on. However, let the guilt go. You have no idea who really had herpes first, etc. For all we know, the ex really does have type 2 herpes and not your type 1. He could have had it for years. Etc, etc. ar >Hi thanks for the speedy reply...blinking heck it is all very >complicated isnt it.. [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > >Michael Hello, thanks people for the great replies,didnt know if i would get shouted down for the history of the thing, but glad to know that sensible posters are on here(i use a lot of newsgroups and they are rapidly going downhill with idiot posters), so thanks for the adult replies... On the matter of tests, will broach the subject 2nite with her, and see how she reacts...I certainly want to know what I have and need to protect myself if anything happens between my partners and me in the future(of course all of this has made me aware more of the use of condoms..) Thanks again Michael > Hello, thanks people for the great replies,didnt know if i would get > shouted down for the history of the thing, The thing with this virus is that it doesnt work the way most people 'know' it does, as such histories of this type often tend to have to get rewritten > sensible posters are on here(i use a lot of newsgroups and they are > rapidly going downhill with idiot posters), so thanks for the adult This is a new thing on Usenet????? :) Tim -- When playing rugby, its not the winning that counts, but the taking apart ICQ: 5178568 michael writes: >i just "assumed"---I know that is a dangerous word----that my >explanation above was the only way it could have been Not really. In fact, knowing all the facts is seldom the case in these matters and finding out who gave what to whom is usually an excercise in futility. There are just to many possibilities, variables, and unknowables in most cases. But there are a few things for sure and one of them is that type 1 never "changes" to type 2 or vice versa. >Me and the girl in question are now engaged Congrats >but she is worried that >(again assumtions) the herpes(whatever strain she has) is affecting her >health other than sexual health if you know what I mean. Not sure exactly what you mean but Herpes isn't progressive nor does it cause any other diseases. It's easily preventable and beyond that, very treatable. The problems most people have with Herpes long term are emotional rather than physical. But that's due to the social stigma rather than the virus itself. Best help for that sort of thing is a "help" group or similar. There's plenty of them around. . >this has never been far away from our heads and guilt has set in deep, Aha! Just what I was thinkin'. The virus has nothing to do with that. >we think(strong rumours) he has given the genital Herpes onto >somebody other than his partner, obviously causing as much unrest as a >few years ago You both need to just let it go. All that is waay beyond your responsibility even if you knew his infection originated with you..... .... which you can't possibly ever know. Your responsibility (and his as well) is to be honest with your immediate partner and do what you can to protect them. If a transfer occurs anyway though, there's no room for blame. Crap just happens sometime. It's just a virus like any other. Would you/she feel guilt for unintentionally giving someone a cold? I doubt it. Especially if they knew you had the cold and they knew you did everything you could to prevent the transmission. >I/we didnt get tested at the time of this, maybe in light of the >confusion surrounding all of this, then maybe it would be the best >cause of action for us both... Knowing your HSV status is never a bad idea. I doubt it will unravel any mysteries though unless it turns out that neither of you has type 2 and the former boyfriend *does*. In that case, the type2 couldn't have come from either of you. >He did get a test at the time, but not sure of a his results....not in >any position to ask him for them either.. ha!! Still, wouldn't hurt to know what type you and your fiance have. Just for information's sake. There are several different blood tests available. They're not very widely known among the medical community for some reason though. If you need any help finding one, let us know. M2 |
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