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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Herpes / October 2003newly diagnosed with tons of questions
i was diagnosed with type 1 herpes yesterday. What does that mean in terms of lifestyle changes? I have a ton of questions. 1) Can I ever have oral sex without latex again? 2) I live with with children, what does that mean in terms of interacting with them? Kissing, hugging, sharing cups by accident? 3) logistically, how does sex work now? Will I have to forever use dental dams and condoms? I just received a prescription for birth control (pill). Is that useless now? 4) How does that work with friends? If they take a sip of my wine, drink, etc in the past, is that now a no-no? I've been in a relationship for the past two years with someone and just had my first (i think) outbreak a month ago. Neither of us have had any cold sores, etc or any outbreaks before. That's when I went to the doctor. She just confirmed it's type 1. At first, by boyfriend was supportive and understanding. I don't think it really sunk in yet. Today, it's a different story. I think he's trying to use any excuse to be angry at me, and after about an hour of giving me stupid reasons, he finally came out and said he doesn't believe this was my first outbreak. And by deduction, therefor he believes that I had this and never bothered to tell him until now. Anyway, I digress. Whatever the outcome with the current boyfriend, what does this mean, IN DETAIL, to my romantic life. What are my options, etc? Please help. All replies will be welcome. Hi Harvey, You aren't clear as to where your outbreak is located. Oral or genital? Type 1 can be found in both locations. We can give you better answers if you can let us know where your outbreak is. If you have oral herpes, it stays oral - it doesn't migrate to the genital area. Keep reading below for my comments: "harvey" <teriwright@yahoo.com> wrote in message > i was diagnosed with type 1 herpes yesterday. What does that mean in > terms of lifestyle changes? I have a ton of questions. If you are talking about oral herpes, then it really doesn't mean much at all. The vast majority of people walking around on the planet have type 1 oral herpes. Most never show signs of it. And life goes on just fine. The trickiest time of the life of the virus is during the first year. People tend to break out more and have more severe outbreaks for this time period while the body learns how to deal with the virus. You can shed the virus without having an outbreak but the longer you have herpes, the less you shed. There are medications that you can take every day to ward off shedding and keep outbreaks to a minimum. Ask your doctor about using one of them until you get more comfortable. > 1) Can I ever have oral sex without latex again? Yes. If you have oral herpes, you do need to be aware that you can pass it on to your partners genitals. If you have genital herpes, then yes, but be aware that you can pass it on to your partner's mouth. I've had type 1 genital herpes now for 18 years and have never passed it on to anyone, as far as I know. (My ex-husband refused to take a blood test to see if he had it). Using one of the antiviral medications will help with this as well. > 2) I live with with children, what does that mean in terms of > interacting with them? Kissing, hugging, sharing cups by accident? Herpes virus needs skin to skin contact to transmit. So, you can't get herpes from a glass or toilet seat. If you have genital herpes, then kissing and hugging doesn't come into play here. If you have oral herpes, hugging will be very safe. Kissing can be risky. I do not know if I have oral herpes but when my niece wants a kiss, I just press my nose to her head (where her hair is) and make kissey noises and she seems rather satisfied. Again, taking the medication will help cut down on shedding. And, don't share cups when you have a full-blown cold sore - just in case. (As well as kissing) Your kids will probably pick up the type 1 virus orally at some point. Usually it's from those kisses from the great Aunt or uncle, etc. > 3) logistically, how does sex work now? Will I have to forever use > dental dams and condoms? I just received a prescription for birth > control (pill). Is that useless now? Not if you don't want to get pregnant. :) Again, we have no idea if you have oral or genital herpes. Please be more specific. Sex is sex. We all have it whether we have herpes or not. As long as your partner is informed of the risks then it isn't a big deal. If you have oral herpes doesn't effect what's going on down below so don't worry about it. If you have genital type 1, then the chances of spreading it a partner's genitals is very slim as well. It doesn't seem to transmit that way - only seems to transmit through oral sex. But again, skin to skin contact when having an outbreak, or if you feel the tinglies, is frowned upon. > 4) How does that work with friends? If they take a sip of my wine, > drink, etc in the past, is that now a no-no? Again, the virus needs skin to skin contact to spread. However, avoid sharing drinks when you are having a full fledged outbreak or feel any warning signs of an outbreak. We like to be safe here. > I've been in a relationship for the past two years with someone and > just had my first (i think) outbreak a month ago. Neither of us have [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > first outbreak. And by deduction, therefor he believes that I had this > and never bothered to tell him until now. Hmmmm...sounds pretty suspicious considering the chances are that he gave it to you. :) Tell him to get a blood test run. He might be the one who is asymptomatic and passing it around. Also, you could have gotten it from one of your kids who picked it up from a buddy in school. Or, you could have had it for years and are just now having an outbreak because of stress or diet change or any one of a million factors. Your doctor just did a visual? Then I suppose I'll assume it's oral herpes. You could also have type 2 orally so ask your doctor to run a blood test on you. But wait 12 to 16 weeks after your first outbreak to do this. It takes a while for the antibodies to show up in your blood. Many doctors are unfamilar with the blood tests so we can help you with that as well. Your boyfriend definitely should be tested. Especially if he is being such an a.s about a cold sore. > Anyway, I digress. Whatever the outcome with the current boyfriend, > what does this mean, IN DETAIL, to my romantic life. What are my > options, etc? Options? The same as before. The big debate here is when to tell someone you have oral herpes. Before the first kiss? Seems kind of strange to do so. I think it's a personal thing. But taking the medications will help you a lot. I've never taken any of the meds but they seem to help a lot of people. Just now that most of the people out there already have it. And you can't get it twice (as long as you're healthy). Just make sure you are eating healthy, exercising, and getting plenty of rest. The body relies on the immune system to fight the virus so keeping it strong will help. Some people have certain triggers like different types of food. Some basic food triggers are: nuts, chocolate, caffeine. Also, for oral herpes, sunlight can be a huge trigger. Wear sunscreen or a hat when in the sun. Also, I've been told that using tea tree oil on the oral version of herpes is very helpful in drying up the blister quickly. And, if you live in the USA, you can buy Abreva at the drug stores. It's for oral herpes only. (It's a cream). And talk to your doctor about getting on an antiviral medication. Please feel free to keep asking questions. ar > Hi Harvey, > > You aren't clear as to where your outbreak is located. Oral or genital? > Type 1 can be found in both locations. We can give you better answers if > you can let us know where your outbreak is. If you have oral herpes, it > stays oral - it doesn't migrate to the genital area. Hi AR Outbreak was genital. I had an appt with the ob/gyn already scheduled for the mentioned birth control pills when the outbreak happened. She visually inspected the sore. At first I thought it was a cut or tear due to..uh..to put it delicatly...vigorous lovemaking session. She didn't think it was herpes visually, but took a swap anyway and had the lab run a test. She called later and said I had Type 1 herpes. She said to come in a take a blood test if I want to find out if I have type 2 also. I guess I should do that. I'm just trying to assimilate this first piece of news first. The BF is getting tested as soon as possible. I know it's possible he gave it to me and I know it's possible either of us have been carriers. I'm trying to learn as much as I can and it seems all the facts, stories, treatments are swimming around in my head with no clear picture emerging yet. I guess my biggest concern is (as probably everyone else) is how this affects my sexual practices. I can't imagine not touching body parts again, and just having sex through latex. Is that where the anitviral medications come in? What exactly to they do and not do? Thank you so much for answering my questions so quickly. Harv PS I don't want to tell anyone that I have this virus. I feel like a wall it between me and my friends now, but I just can't imagine telling them. I don't feel they need to know every aspect of my medical conditions, but on the other hand, I feel shameful for having the virus and shameful for feeling shamed. Weird, i know. Hey there, Harvey, If you have type 1 genital then you probably got through oral sex with someone who has cold sores. I'm really thinking it's your boyfriend... As I mentioned, it's very difficult to pass type 1 from genital to genital. Condoms only protect the covered part. Soap and water kill the virus. The antivirals will help in reducing the amount of shedding and the frequency of outbreaks and the severity of outbreaks. You can take them either every day (suppressively) or only when you feel the prodrome start. Prodrome is usually a tingling or itchy feeling. To cut down on shedding, you will need to take the meds suppressively. At this point, don't worry about your sex life. You just need to get past the weirdness of finding out you have herpes. And the only people who need to know are the people you are planning on having sex with. If you don't tell your friends every gory detail about your sex life then you shouldn't really feel weird about not telling them about herpes. You can definitely touch body parts. Hands should have no cuts on them. And just wash with soap and water afterward. Please keep asking questions. Take care, ar > > Hi Harvey, > > [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > medical conditions, but on the other hand, I feel shameful for having > the virus and shameful for feeling shamed. Weird, i know. > again, and just having sex through latex. Is that where the anitviral > medications come in? What exactly to they do and not do? Antivirals - well they hit the virus - not the entire disease process mind, hich is why there are now drugs being developed to attend not just to the virus but also to the attendant inflammatory processes which produce the whole 'cold sore' type lesion. By taking the virus out of the equation you have an effect on the disease process however. They can reduce the length of an outbreak by hitting the virus. They can if taken early enough stand a chance of aborting an outbreak so it fades away. Used supressively they can reduce the frequency of outbreaks in an individual. They also reduce the frquency and severity of asymptomatic shedding which has a knock on effect of limiting transmission. Basically there are 3 major antivirals out there for the general population at the moment Acyclovir - now off patent and produced gernerically the major tradename from the original patent holders is Zovirax. This is the gold standard, in that everything in the field is referred back to a comparison with acylovir (ACV). ACV has a very short half life and relatively poor bioavilability. As such you end up taking a fair few tablets very frequently during the day for treating an outbreak. It i however the cheapest of the lot - handy if you are on insurance and it works. Its development won its developers the Nobel prize - not fir being an effective antiviral per se but for being effective and safe. For a drug its pretty damn innocuous on the safety profile. Some people do get side effects though so as with any drug even OTC ones - be aware when you try a new one. Valacyclovir - still on patent, a second generation antiviral. More potent than ACV, and essentially its a delivery system for that drug. You get the same effect on a one or two times a day regime rather than a 5 times a day regime. More expensive than ACV but still reasonable. Famciclovir - another second generatino drug, based around delivering penciclovir (a related compound) to the body. Im somewhat biased on this one having seen a lot of the work done with it. It is however the most expensive of the three. Its purppose and aim is exactly the same as Valcyclovir....it lags behind a little in the research and development stakes as it was spun out of the company when Glaxo and Smithkline merged and this interrrupted the devlopment of the drug for a reasonable time. As such things like asymptomatic transmission and suppressive therapy and information about them are less well developed than with valacyclovir and these are the big areas of treatment people want to know about. > PS I don't want to tell anyone that I have this virus. I feel like a > wall it between me and my friends now, but I just can't imagine > telling them. If they are over 20 between 50 and 70% of them have HSV1 anyway. THe where may differ but its still the same virus and still carries many of the same risks. Most of them will be ignorant of this fact. > I don't feel they need to know every aspect of my > medical conditions, No they dont, until it becomes necessary for them - one point of necessity would be intimacy but you alreayd have a partner so then its a matter of they need to know only at the point YOU feel they are enough of a friend thats it relevant and you want to tell them. Tim -- When playing rugby, its not the winning that counts, but the taking apart ICQ: 5178568 >i was diagnosed with type 1 herpes yesterday. What does that mean in >terms of lifestyle changes? I'm going to assume we're talking about genital herpes. Type 1 is normally associated with oral herpes (commonly known as fever blisters, or cold sores) but type 1 genital is not uncommon. >1) Can I ever have oral sex without latex again? You'll find there are not many yes or no answers when it comes to herp. Most of the time it just "depends". The outlook is far from bleak though. >2) I live with with children, what does that mean in terms of >interacting with them? Kissing, hugging, sharing cups by accident? Now I'm wondering whether we're talking about oral or genital. Either way, there's not much problem. Herp is spread by skin to skin contact. So if you're infected orally, kissing someone else on the lips could possibly spread it to their lips (or to genitals by oral sex). By the way, mucosal (sp-help!) areas of the mouth (lips) and genitals are the areas most vulnerable to invasion by hsv. Normal skin on other parts of the body is to tough and thick for it to penetrate without help (cuts or abrasions). And hsv (herpes simplex virus) won't live on inanimate objects very long (dies almost immediately) so picking it up by sharing a cup isn't very likely (but don't push your luck). >3) logistically, how does sex work now? Will I have to forever use >dental dams and condoms? Depends on your partner. If he's infected also, then you have no problem. He (or you) can't be infected twice with the same type in the same location. >I just received a prescription for birth >control (pill). Is that useless now? Certainly not! Don't forget to take those things! >4) How does that work with friends? If they take a sip of my wine, >drink, etc in the past, is that now a no-no? Theoretically it shouldn't matter. But give 'em the other side of your glass and you drink from the other side of theirs. Not necessarily because of herp, but you could pick up a cold/flu virus or who knows what that way. >I've been in a relationship for the past two years with someone and >just had my first (i think) outbreak a month ago. Neither of us have >had any cold sores, etc or any outbreaks before. That's when I went to >the doctor. She just confirmed it's type 1. How did she confirm it? With a culture type test? Or blood test? The reason I ask, there's no way to tell type1 from type2 just by looking at it. >At first, by boyfriend was >supportive and understanding. I don't think it really sunk in yet. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >first outbreak. And by deduction, therefor he believes that I had this >and never bothered to tell him until now. Has he ever been tested? Fact is, he may very well be carrying the virus without knowing about it. Studies have shown that 80% of adults in the U.S. are infected with type1 but only a small percent of them realize it. Most infected people have no symptoms, or symptoms so mild they're not recognized as such. Your boyfriend may very well fall into that category, or you could too. The only way to find out for sure is with a blood test. >Anyway, I digress. Whatever the outcome with the current boyfriend, >what does this mean, IN DETAIL, to my romantic life. What are my >options, etc? If it becomes a problem (outbreaks I mean) there's always suppressive therapy. But you really need to find out your boyfriend's status too. No symptoms does NOT mean no infection. Not by a long shot. Stick around, give us more info and ask more questions. Meanwhile, here's a site you might want to look at; http://www.westoverheights.com/freebooktext.html M2 another question just occured to me. Now that I have type 1 genital herpes, will I start developing oral herpes? Will I now have cold sores, fever blisters, etc? Ahhh...this is so frustrating but I'm very relieved to have found this group. Thanks already for the answers. Although they seems to spawn more questions. The virus does not travel through the body. It stays in the location where the infection happened. So, genital herpes is genital herpes and oral herpes is oral herpes, regardless of being type 1 or type 2. ar > another question just occured to me. > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > Thanks already for the answers. Although they seems to spawn more > questions. > another question just occured to me. > > Now that I have type 1 genital herpes, will I start developing oral > herpes? Will I now have cold sores, fever blisters, etc? Unlikely - the virus localises in the body and tends to stays there. Its sits in nerve structures called ganglia. These are a bunch of cell bodies in a bulge in the nerve just outside the spinal cord. Its pretty difficult for the virus to go inwards from that point which would be its only route to travel through the nervous system to the top of the spinal cord and then out again to the ganglia near the face. Thats a very very very very tall order.....tall enough to basically ignore as a possiblity. If you were HSV1 negative before this then there remain a chance of transferring the virus to the facial region physically. That chance goes down over time as the immune system gets geared up to the point where it really again becomes a rare event. And add to that the chances are pretty hig that you alreayd have the virus there anyway (50-70+ depending on age and demographic in the USA that you belong to) - at that point you are not really going to alter the biology of the virus even if you do infect yourself in the facial region....about 80% of people infected with these 2 viruses simply dont get any symptoms so 'I dont get cold sores and never have' is not a reliable way of determining if someone hs HSV in any givien spot. > Thanks already for the answers. Although they seems to spawn more > questions. Thats the nature of the viruses in question - and there is likely to come a point where you start running us down to guesswork and then further to places where we simply cant answer at all. Tim -- When playing rugby, its not the winning that counts, but the taking apart ICQ: 5178568 Hi "harvey" It might be instructional if you also have a blood test run (as well as having BF have one as you said in a previous post). If this is a recent occurrence (the outbreak) yet you have antibody already, then you probably would have had the virus (somewhere--not necessarily genitally though) before this 're' -currance. A blood test can never really tell you where you have the virus, but it can indicate a recent or not recent infection sometimes. If no antibody is present, then it's a new infection. If antibody is present, and the outbreak started up something like a week or 2 ago, then the outbreak would probably be a recurrence of an existing infection (which could have erupted now because of that "vigorous lovemaking session" you mentioned--friction can be a trigger for outbreaks for some people). Could also be that you've had it orally for years and never known, and now just recently got it genitally. The possibilities abound, but a blood test might help with some info, if it's negative right now. Time is of the essence of course, because the longer you go from initial infection to having a test run, the more likely your immune system can gear up with the appropriate antibody that will then be found by the test. If that's the case, then no new info would be attained from a blood test for you. Hang in -G > another question just occured to me. > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > Thanks already for the answers. Although they seems to spawn more > questions. >Hi "harvey" <snip> >Hang in >-G hmmm ... haven't seen this guy before. Must be a newbie ;-) hehehe... But if'n ya are who I'm thinkin' ya are ... welcome back ;-) Long time no read ;-) Laters ;-) M2 Thanks. Don't know if I'm back, but I *am* trying to read some posts, anyway. Over 800 since I got too busy to participate. Some of them were even titled "How come it's so slow here lately?". Hah! And the change in my addy (that's Guy_on...etc--the underscore doesn't seem to be visible) was not one of the more major changes in my life. Whew! Somehow, I guess I just wasn't busy enough. Hang in -G <--perpetual newbie! :-) > >Hi "harvey" > <snip> [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > Laters ;-) > M2 >(that's Guy_on...etc--the underscore doesn't seem >to be visible) I can see the underscore just fine (between "Guy" and "on"). I think it just depends on which email client the reader is using. M2 Hi Guy!! ar > Thanks. Don't know if I'm back, but I *am* trying to read some posts, > anyway. Over 800 since I got too busy to participate. Some of them were [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > Laters ;-) > > M2 Ar, It took me awhile to figure out that 'Grant' was YOU! lol :-) Angela > Hi Guy!! > > ar Yeah, I had to go into hiding from the viruses!! ar > Ar, > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > > > ar Hi Arlyn. Good seeing you're still one of the regulars. How you likin' that change in climate? Hang in -G > Hi Guy!! > [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > > > Laters ;-) > > > M2 Brrrrrrrrrr!!!! ar > Hi Arlyn. > [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > > > > Laters ;-) > > > > M2 > Thanks. Don't know if I'm back, but I *am* trying to read some posts, > anyway. Over 800 since I got too busy to participate. Some of them were Must write more, must write more..... > And the change in my addy (that's Guy_on...etc--the underscore doesn't seem Its visible here. Oh, yes Hi again ;P Tim -- When playing rugby, its not the winning that counts, but the taking apart ICQ: 5178568 Hi right back atcha, Tim. Hang in -G > > Thanks. Don't know if I'm back, but I *am* trying to read some posts, > > anyway. Over 800 since I got too busy to participate. Some of them were [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > When playing rugby, its not the winning that counts, but the taking apart > ICQ: 5178568 >Hi right back atcha, Tim. Woo hoo. Hi, Guy! I don't know if it's necessary to underscore how good it is to see you, but I'll do it just the same. Good to see you. __ (Can you say Guvornore Ahnold? LOL.) Keep the faith, baby, Mike > >Hi right back atcha, Tim. > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Mike As a newbie, research and more research. http://modernlifemeds.com Hey Mike! Jeez... I say hi, and then get too busy to participate again. That'll be the norm for me for the foreseeable future I'm afraid. Hair today, gone tomorrow. ahhhh... inside joke. ::grin:: Yeah... Arnie's Da Man! We'll see how things go. I just wish he could pronounce the state's name right, ya know? Most people in the state pronounce our i's a bit different than ol' T/T2/3/4/5... Hang in Mike! -G > >Hi right back atcha, Tim. > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Mike Is this Guyonphone??? ~Angela Yeahhhh... only with a new look. Whatcha think? And yeah...I've been to your pics of the ultrasounds... cute lil' one ya got there! Next time though, have her smile more! Hang in -G > Is this Guyonphone??? > > ~Angela -G It's great to see you posting ~ even if it's only once in awhile. :) Can you believe we only have eight weeks to go before the little one gets here? *hugs* Angela |
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