Anything is possible but it's not likely. Especially if your immune
system is normal and you don't have any cuts, scrapes, or abrasions on
you fingers. HSV has a difficult time getting through normal unbroken
skin like that on your fingers. It's usual route is through the thin
mucosal skin of the genitals or lips.
As far as shedding is concerned, that is the *only* time she is
contagious. When she is *not* shedding, your risk of contracting the
virus from her is zero. The problem, of course, is knowing when she is
and when she is not.
One thing she can do to reduce her frequency of shedding is to take
suppresive medication. That's a judgement call though as to whether
it's worth the bother and expense. Unless she sheds frequently, it's
probably not worh it.
Btw, soap and water kills the virus immediately with no problem. You
might throw that into the risk equation you're considering.
Hope some of this helps,
M2

Your finger can get infected (Herpetic whitlow), though what the
risk is, I'm not sure.  Probably low, but not unheard of.  The risk
is higher if she's having an outbreak of course, less high if she's
shedding (but nearly impossible to know), and very low if she's not
shedding (except you can't really know.)  Also, if you stick your
finger in your eye without washing it, you could transfer virus
there, etc.

Take care,

Mike