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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Herpes / December 2004i was recently told that i have herpes
Yesterday I was told that I have herpes. Although I have read numerous articles, sites, books etc. on the topic (mind you they told me they suspected that what i had was a herpes sore..so instead of flipping out..i read up on it...so the past week i've been reading like its a final for class) and in general the information I get doesnt really tell about the whole sex process. I'm trying to accept the fact that the majority of the people i will *in the future* (i am 20 y/o so i have some time ahead of me) become involved with, once they find out I have herpes will have no desire to touch me :(, but for that rare person that comes along...what are the chances of them getting herpes also? What do they mean by "shedding"? i read on a site something about shedding but had NO idea what they were talking about. how much do condoms protect against herpes? on average (i know you can have herpes up to years and not show symptoms) but on average...when do symptoms start showing? also...i read that even if you dont show symptoms, you can still pass it on to another person..so when is it ever okay to have sex with a lower risk of infecting your partner? I really do appreciate your time in reading this and if you have any advice or the answers to my questions...please feel free to write back. i'm getting major mixed emotions on what to do and how to feel...i also have to tell past partners *since im not sure how long i have had herpes for* to get checked...i feel ill be yelled at a lot in the next few weeks. Again, thank you for your time. Always, V. F_K writes: >Yesterday I was told that I have herpes. Where located? ... and which type? Herpes Simplex is separated into two types (1&2) but they are very much alike in the way they're transmitted and produce symptoms, and respond to triggers and treatment. Both types are commonly found genitally. But orally, type 1 is predominant (type 2 oral is not common). The most important difference between the two types is the transmission risk from each location. Transmission of Type 2 genital is higher than Type 1 genital. And Trans risk of Type 1 oral is higher than Type 2 oral. > I'm trying to accept the fact that the majority of the people i >will *in the future* (i am 20 y/o so i have some time ahead of me) >become involved with, once they find out I have herpes will have no >desire to touch me :( I disagree with your premise here. And I think you'll eventually find it's not true. >person that comes >along...what are the chances of them getting herpes also? Depends on the person. And depends on your type/location. Also depends on so many other factors that it's practically impossible to predict without knowing many many more details about you both. But suffice to say that there are *many* discordant couples in the world who have been together of years without a transfer. In other words, transmission to a negative partner is not necessarily a foregone conclusion. > What do they mean by "shedding"? That's when the virus is actively reproducing and collecting on the skin's surface. That's the only time you're contagious. It only happens intermittently so most other times you're not. But the problem is it can be an invisible process on many occasions (known as asymptomatic shedding) so you can't really tell when it's happening and when it's not. Most shedding occurs during outbreaks though, so those are times you can be sure you're contagious. > how much do condoms protect against herpes? There seems to be some disagreement on that. I see "50% risk reduction" bandied about in different groups. But everybody agrees they're better than nothing. Frankly, I think they're a lot more effective than they're given credit for if they're used properly. The studies I've seen that give condoms low scores have been due more to operator error than ineffective condoms. If the guy puts it on correctly, wears one every time without fail, it doesn't come off, and it doesn't break, they're pretty dang effective even though they don't cover the entire area that shedding could possibly occur. They DO protect the most vulnerable skin of both partners and also the area on a male that shedding most occurs (females tend to shed in a wider area). So no matter what you hear regarding risk reduction of condoms, it's better to use them than not. >on average...when do symptoms start showing? At the very earliest, maybe two days. More likely 3 days to a week. Or maybe a couple of weeks. Or, like you say, most likely they'll either never appear or be so light that they'll go unnoticed. >.i read that even if you dont show symptoms, you can still pass >it on to another person..so when is it ever okay to have sex with a >lower risk of infecting your partner? That's the asymptomatic (invisible) shedding I was talking about earlier. The only time you're contagious is when your body is shedding virus and that is actually fairly seldom. Problem is, there's no way of knowing exactly when it is and when it's not happening. F_K writes: >how often do most have outbreaks per year? Most people don't have outbreaks at all. This is why most people who are infected don't realize they're infected. Beyond that, it's anybody's guess and it partly depends on which type you have and where it's located. For instance, type2 genital might outbreak more often than type 1 genital. Also depends on how long you've had it. For most people who start out with outbreaks, they eventually dwindle away in both frequency and severity. Might take several years but herp symptoms commonly fade completely away. It's a complicated disease with many many factors to consider. It's certainly not the end of your love life though. Many of us consider it to be a blessing in disguise. M2 M2 thank you very much for getting back to me :D > Where located? ... and which type? *~it was around genitals..but now a sore just showed up in my mouth..GLORIOUS, all i found out is that i have it..they told me to come in on monday to get more info on it...the doctor i have is a jerk off *plan to get a new one soon* > That's when the virus is actively reproducing and collecting on the skin's surface. That's the only time you're contagious. It only happens intermittently so most other times you're not. But the problem is it can be an invisible process on many occasions (known as asymptomatic shedding) so you can't really tell when it's happening and when it's not. Most shedding occurs during outbreaks though, so those are times you can be sure you're contagious. *~so how often does shedding occur? um what about sex in the shower...does that take down the transmission from shedding at all?? > M2 thank you very much for getting back to me :D > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > come in on monday to get more info on it...the doctor i have is a jerk > off *plan to get a new one soon* It is possible to have both oral herpes and genital herpes. Have you ever had a cold sore or a fever blister? If so, then you have oral herpes. Oral herpes is usually type-1. Keep in mind that if the sore around the inside of your mouth (if that's where it is located) is a canker sore then you do not have oral herpes because canker sores are not herpes simplex virus. Also, if you just had a sore show up around your mouth and you are quick about getting in to see the doctor then you can have that cultured and typed if it should turn out to be herpes. Where are you located? I might be able to help you find a herpes aware doc in your area. >> That's when the virus is actively reproducing and collecting on the >> skin's surface. That's the only time you're contagious. It only [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > *~so how often does shedding occur? um what about sex in the > shower...does that take down the transmission from shedding at all?? The shedding rate varies from person to person. Some people shed before, during and after a flare up. The folks that don't get flare ups shed less than the folks that do. The problem with asymptomatic shedding is that we never know which days we are shedding even if it's only 2 to 3% of the days during the year. As for having sex in the shower.. well.. you can still pass herpes provided the circumstances are just right no matter where you have sex. What I would do if I were you is I would read "The Updated Herpes Handbook" over on www.westoverheights.com. There is an entire section about transmission. Hope this helps.. Merry CHRISTmas!! Angela :-) www.yoshi2me.com > Yesterday I was told that I have herpes. Although I have read numerous > articles, sites, books etc. on the topic (mind you they told me they > suspected that what i had was a herpes sore..so instead of flipping > out..i read up on it...so the past week i've been reading like its a > final for class) and in general the information I get doesnt really > tell about the whole sex process. What type of testing was done to confirm that you have Herpes Simplex Virus? > I'm trying to accept the fact that the majority of the people i > will *in the future* (i am 20 y/o so i have some time ahead of me) > become involved with, once they find out I have herpes will have no > desire to touch me :(, How can you know this for sure? > but for that rare person that comes > along...what are the chances of them getting herpes also? Have you read the "Telling Story" over on my website: www.yoshi2me.com ? > What do they > mean by "shedding"? i read on a site something about shedding but had > NO idea what they were talking about. You know what you need to do? You need to go over to www.westoverheights.com and read "The Updated Herpes Handbook." This is going to help answer a lot of your questions AND help you correctly learn all about the Herpes Simplex Virus. > how much do condoms protect > against herpes? Condoms are great to use for protection but they are not 100% effective in preventing the transmission of STDs. If you think about Herpes Simplex Virus and how it works you will realize that the condom does not cover the entire genital area. Over the years I've met a few people that have contracted Genital Herpes via Condom Usage. > on average (i know you can have herpes up to years and > not show symptoms) but on average...when do symptoms start showing? It's hard to know because everybody is different.. > also...i read that even if you dont show symptoms, you can still pass > it on to another person..so when is it ever okay to have sex with a > lower risk of infecting your partner? Yes, it's true that's it's possible to pass Herpes even when there are no signs or symptoms. The only time it's ok to have sex with a lower risk of infecting your partner is only after you tell them you have herpes and discuss precautions (if any) that the two of you feel comfortable with.. Also, it's good to have your partner tested for Herpes and other STDs such as HIV so you will know exactly what the two of you have on your plate *before* you have sex. Some couples choose to use condoms and be on suppressive therapy and others do not. It's just depends on the couple and where you are at with your relationship. My favorite equation to use to reduce the chances of contracting Herpes is this one: Telling + Condoms + Suppression = Safer Sex > I really do appreciate your time in reading this and if you have > any advice or the answers to my questions...please feel free to write > back. i'm getting major mixed emotions on what to do and how to > feel...i also have to tell past partners *since im not sure how long i > have had herpes for* You don't necessarily need to talk to your past partners. The only people you need to tell from here on out are the people you are contemplating having sex with.. otherwise it's not really anybody's buisiness if you have herpes or not. Just my two cents on that one.. > to get checked...i feel ill be yelled at a lot in > the next few weeks. Again, thank you for your time. Here are two places you can share your experience and ask questions on: Picking Up the Pieces: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/PickingUpThePieces/ and Shut Up and Post! STD Message Board: http://www.yoshi2me.com/ipw-web/bulletin/bb/index.php Sometimes the newsgroup can be a bit slow.. plus it's always nice to get opinions from many people instead of just a few.. know what I mean? Hang in there and Merry CHRISTmas!! Angela :) www.yoshi2me.com Angela thank you also for responding to my post :).... What type of testing was done to confirm that you have Herpes Simplex Virus? *~ they took a culture of it..and i had them take my blood...then was tested for many other stds. I'm trying to accept the fact that the majority of the people i will *in the future* (i am 20 y/o so i have some time ahead of me) become involved with, once they find out I have herpes will have no desire to touch me :(, How can you know this for sure? *~ well i dont, but that was just how i felt at the time I found out...it hit me kind of hard..but on a lighter note i thought..at least its not going to kill me > Have you read the "Telling Story" over on my website: www.yoshi2me.com ? *~ yeah i've been to ur site...and have looked around..thank you very much...i am also checking out the other links you have. > Also, it's good to have your partner tested for Herpes and other STDs such as HIV so you will know exactly what the two of you have on your plate *before* you have sex. *~that's what i had always done in the past..and boy have i pissed ppl off asking them to get tested..but it was my rules and if they didnt like it they didnt have to be with me...but how i got herpes was from lack of testing..it was...well from lack of permission. Since I was younger i always get test a few times a year whether I am active or not and have my partner tested. YEAH GROUP TRIP TO THE CLINIC lol. thank you very much angela and thank you again for the site links :D always v. > Angela thank you also for responding to my post :).... You are so very welcome!! I'm always happy to help out. :-) > What type of testing was done to confirm that you have Herpes Simplex > Virus? > *~ they took a culture of it..and i had them take my blood...then was > tested for many other stds. Did the doctor have the lab type the herpes? In other words were they able to tell you if it was type-1 or type-2? When they drew blood what stds did they say they were going to test you for? > I'm trying to accept the fact that the majority of the people i will > *in the future* (i am 20 y/o so i have some time ahead of me) [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > out...it hit me kind of hard..but on a lighter note i thought..at > least its not going to kill me That's true!! Herpes Simplex Virus will *not* kill you. :-) >> Have you read the "Telling Story" over on my website: www.yoshi2me.com ? > *~ yeah i've been to ur site...and have looked around..thank you very > much...i am also checking out the other links you have. Glad to hear it.. I hope the information is helpful. :-) >> Also, it's good to have your partner tested for Herpes and other STDs >> such [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > off asking them to get tested..but it was my rules and if they didnt > like it they didnt have to be with me... That's EXACTLY how I see it too!! lol :-) If they don't want to talk about stds or be willing to get tested then tell them to HIT THE ROAD JACK - and DON'T COME BACK!! lol :-) > but how i got herpes was from > lack of testing..it was...well from lack of permission. Since I was > younger i always get test a few times a year whether I am active or > not and have my partner tested. YEAH GROUP TRIP TO THE CLINIC lol. The thing is ... Herpes isn't included in the routine std testing process. Did you know that? Many people don't realize that and always assume that they are being tested for everything when in reality they are not. > thank you very much angela and thank you again for the site links :D > always > v. No problem V. Hang in there and keep you chin UP!! Merry CHRISTmas!! Angela :-) www.yoshi2me.com Did the doctor have the lab type the herpes? In other words were they able to tell you if it was type-1 or type-2? When they drew blood what stds did they say they were going to test you for? *~no they didnt tell me, im going in tomorrow morning to get meds for it b/c im currently haveing an outbreak..what a PAIN. Isnt the only differance between type 1 and 2 is the location..thats what a nurse told me..but of course she's an idiot and im not sure about that. I know that i had a sore in my mouth also..so im pretty sure i have genital and oral...but im going in tomorrow for a second check up..im getting a new doctor b/c the one i had is a jackass LOL. and they checked for all std's..all were negative but the result for this one was weird..it said something like .92% ..and something about equivalent..she read it to me..but it made no sense..i basically know i have it..but the test was just odd. im having them take another culture though. The thing is ... Herpes isn't included in the routine std testing process. Did you know that? Many people don't realize that and always assume that they are being tested for everything when in reality they are not. *~yes i already knew that..and everytime i take std tests i specify that one also. My last std check i was tested for herpes...and didnt have it, i've only had one partner since that test.so process of elimination. I have already told him, he's going in for testing today. *~how long have you had it for? just wondering. do you still get outbreaks? are flu like symptoms normal everytime you have an outbreak? hi there...hope i can help you a little bit. i'm recently infected myself. i've been diagnosed HSV1 for about 3 weeks now. my first outbreak was in the genital area even though HSV1 is usually oral...in fact, that's how i got it...from oral sex with my bf while he had a cold sore that was not even visible anymore. where do i start?...well, i understand your feelings completely...as does everyone in this forum. you've found a very good online source for information and support. everyone here is so helpful and i hope i can be too. good luck at your appointment tomorrow. go prepared. make sure to WRITE DOWN your questions, and make sure you DONT leave until they are all answered and you understand. When i was tested...they actually had to break open a blister, then they "swab" it by gouging the sore with a blunt q-tip. they cultured that and they also did a blood test in case one or the other didnt produce results. both tests came up positive for HSV1. My doctor was able to tell me right away what type i had...i'm very confused why your doctor didnt mention it to you. my advice, get a different doctor. i've had more information gathered online and from this forum than my doctor could ever give me. It's very good that you're educating yourself. It's the best thing that you can do for yourself to help manage this...and you will have a normal life. it's not the end of the world and it is manageable. the first outbreak (from my experience) is awful...almost worse pain of my life. there's a post about home remedies...you should read that. Perl has a lot of good suggestions but you should probably talk to your doctor about trying OTC products before hand. what worked best for me, and is still working (as i feel a slight tingle every now and then) i use a pea size drop of Lotrimin and a pea size drop of Cortisone. the pain decreased almost immediately and after the first 24 hours, i was able to walk normally again. it's the only combination of products that have been effective for me and i swear by them. now that my outbreak is over, i am starting to feel what i have been told could be postherpetic neuralgia. basically, my skin hurts. wearing shoes hurts my feet...not because they're tight or because i need a foot massage, but it just hurts to touch. it's annoying, but in some cases, it can get very bad and last about a month to a year. anyways, i just wanted to say, that i was exactly like you. i'd get tested 3 or 4 times a year for STD's and i never had sex (even with a condom) unless my partner was tested too...and i'd go along too so that i KNEW they got tested. regardless, what people dont know is that if you ask to be tested for all the STD's, they still dont test you for Herpes unless you SPECIFICALLY ASK FOR THE TEST! and there are only 3 brands of tests for accurate herpes results. it's a huge misconception as well as the misconception that condoms protect against H...cuz the truth is THEY DONT! they give you better odds, but not very good ones. in the meantime, good luck at your appointment, and post a message about how it goes. hang in there and keep your head up....because what doesnt kill you, only makes you stronger. bye for now and take care. kate :) > *~how long have you had it for? just wondering. do you still get > outbreaks? are flu like symptoms normal everytime you have an outbreak? I've had it for approximately nine years now.. I can't believe it's been that long myself. I probably get a small dime sized patch of redness about once or twice a year - if that. Yes, I have personally experienced flu-like symptoms just before a flare up but not every single time. Hope this helps, Angela :-) www.yoshi2me.com > *~no they didnt tell me, im going in tomorrow morning to get meds for > it b/c im currently haveing an outbreak..what a PAIN. Isnt the only > differance between type 1 and 2 is the location..thats what a nurse > told me.. Then that nurse misinformed you. HSV1 and 2 are seperate viruses, while very similar they do have some differences. They have a certain prediliction for one area but somewhere arout 30% of new genital herpes cases these days in the 'west' [for want of a better term] are turning out to be HSV1 not HSV2 which is the classical virus for the area. Treatment generally uses the same drugs, largely because there is so much crossover the main ones work on both HSVs and usually VZV as well. > checked for all std's..all were negative but the result for this one > was weird..it said something like .92% ..and something about > equivalent..she read it to me..but it made no sense..i basically know i Equivocal was the term I'd guess. Means there's a reading around their cutoff but general test variance means they can;t be sure one way or another. Tim -- When playing rugby, its not the winning that counts, but the taking apart ICQ: 5178568 > You don't necessarily need to talk to your past partners. I think you should tell them if you are still in touch at all. Why not do all you can to reduce the spread of the herp? I have done this and maybe the news wasn't welcome but if they can't accept this as the most responsible behavior, then it is their problem. In my case one of the two persons I informed infected me and apparently wasn't aware of it. If you do inform ex-partners you might save somebody else some discomfort even if your ex thinks less of you. It's an ex-partner so what do you have to lose? Drew Obviously that's a personal decision that you chose to follow through on. However, it's not necessary in all cases. Each person's situation is different.. what works for you doesn't always work for everybody else. Know what I mean? Angela :-) www.yoshi2me.com >> You don't necessarily need to talk to your past partners. > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Drew |
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