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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Herpes / October 2004Newbie question
Hi My g/f, who I have seeing for only a relatively short time, but with whom I have become very close, has told me she got genital herpes about 20 years ago and has ocassional suspected mild outbreaks. I'm not sure yet if it's type 1 or 2 but it's probably type 2. I have had type 1 cold sores infrequently over the years so I know that it is an irritation rather than something to be too concerned about. I also know that if we stay together, the herpes just won't be a problem because I'm likely eventually to get it. Probably. I'm not sure if I'm asking the right questions at the moment, so please be patient, but since we would both like our sex life is likely to be extremely adventurous, including oral and anal sex, how much virtue is there in wearing a condom? We will be using condoms for birth control reasons, but I understand that condoms offer less than 100% efficacy at preventing infection. Also, I have concerns about me giving her oral sex. This is something I would like to do and the infection possibilities are pretty obvious. I would be interested in hearing other peoples stories about similar situations. Not only the medical stuff, but also the emotional side about how you coped (or not). Any gems gratefully received. For the record, I'm 48 and she is 42. Thanks > Hi > [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > how you coped (or not). Any gems gratefully received. > For the record, I'm 48 and she is 42. Hey Pete, I can tell you of my experiances and share with you what life has been like after D-DAY and hope it gives you a little insight into how other people are handling. I believe I gave HSV1 to my fiance. I had a real tough time of it physically and definitely mentally at first. She, on the other hand, has not had any noticable symptoms in the now over a year since we found out. Since we both tested positive for type 1 and I have had cold sores before I do perform oral on her. I do not, however, let her perform it on me because my thought is that if I gave it to her she probably has it genitally. Now, just because I'm a little crazy about this thing, I still make love to her with shorts on and with a condom. Reason is that even though I dont get sores I still feel discomfort in that region. Like light burning. I dont know enough about what it is (if its just neuralgia) to make love to her as I used to. It feels funny but in my mind I'm still protecting her from an outbreak. The differences in how we cope are night and day. She feels nothing so she kind of doesnt think about it. I think about it every single day, practically. My life is completely different from the way I towel off after a shower to not even letting my dog brush my leg if I'm not wearing long shorts. Things have definitely improved from the first few months until now. The pain I used to practically cry about (ok I did cry about it :) )is now just an inconvinient discomfort. Hopefully next year I will feel less pain. Bore enough people now. :) take care, all. According to the National Herpes Hotline, there is very little chance that an individual will pass herpes on, as long as the other person already has the antibodies for that specific type in his or her system. If you both have only HSV1, you really shouldn't be too concerned about autoinoculation from asymptomatic viral shedding or the reinfection of each other during sex. Contrary to what others occasionally state, the antibodies don't care about the location on your body of the HSV1--the antibodies offer the same protection whether you have it as cold sores, or, in your fiance's case, as genital HSV1. From the sounds of things, I would recommend that you talk to an infectious disease specialist, or a well-informed general practitioner. Unless it's a turn on for you both, there isn't much reason to have sex with your shorts on. As long as you both have the same type of herpes, the antibodies generally will not allow the herpes to crop up in another place on your bodies. > According to the National Herpes Hotline, there is very little chance > that an individual will pass herpes on, as long as the other person [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > whether you have it as cold sores, or, in your fiance's case, as > genital HSV1. I have read that before. Fact is that I had the virus in my body because I had cold sores before but I still got infected genetally. Also, I have read on here another variation of this in regards to toweling off after a shower. People said that it is very unlikely for autoinoculation in this manner but the herpes handbook says that this is the most common way autoinoculation happens. > From the sounds of things, I would recommend that you talk to an > infectious disease specialist, or a well-informed general > practitioner. Unless it's a turn on for you both, there isn't much > reason to have sex with your shorts on. As long as you both have the > same type of herpes, the antibodies generally will not allow the > herpes to crop up in another place on your bodies. LOL. Definitely not a turn on for me. I feel rather silly, actually. I continue doing it because I guess it makes me feel a little better mentally. If I didnt I dont think I could enjoy it because I would keep thinking about her getting an outbreak because of me. Whatever keeps you going, I guess. Rojer: The Updated Herpes Handbook states that "adults and children can (but rarely do) transmit the virus from one part of their body to another...Autoinoculation almost always occurs during the first outbreak when the immune system has not yet produced an immune response to the herpes. It is felt that this occurrence is quite uncommon, or many more children would have genital herpes as a result of touching their cold sores and then touching their genitals, as children seem to do. Regarding the sharing of towels, The Updated Herpes Handbook notes that "during an outbreak, one should not share their towel with another person. Towels stay wet and warm for awhile, and the virus may conceivably live for a short time in that environment. Some studies have shown that the virus can live for a short time outside of the body, but there are no documented cases of someone contracting herpes in this way. [http://www.westoverheights.com/freebooktext.html] Not to dwell on this, however, as my infectious disease specialist told me during my primary outbreak of HSV 1, in order for autoinoculation to occur large amounts of the virus need to be present on the skin's surface, and this almost always happens during a primary outbreak, after which antibodies reduce the concentration of the virus in an infected person. Autoinoculation is theoretically possible whenever an outbreak or viral shedding occurs, but is highly unlikely at any other stage of infection. Unfortunately, in your case the herpes didn't seem to listen to my infectious disease specialist. In all honesty, my one outbreak did entice me to not reuse bath towels. My towels only get used once before they are washed. Even though the amount of virus released during asymptomatic shedding is so small, laundry detergent and fresh towels are a relatively inexpensive way to provide me happiness. |
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