Hello,

I contracted genital herpes a year and a half ago, and I'm now getting
to the point where I have to learn to deal with it in practical terms.
I was hoping some of you might be able to give this newbie some advice.

I'm a gay male, and 18 months ago, I developed clusters of blisters, one on
each side of my inner thighs, shortly after receiving unprotected oral sex.
Being uneducated, I was careless in the shower and I can only assume that
I then proceeded to autoinfect myself in the perianal area (and possibly
in the scalp) during that initial outbreak.

Since that first outbreak, I've had no other symptoms in the genital
area.  And my incidence of cold sores around the mouth (from what I've
long assumed is an old HSV-1 infection) has remained about the same,
roughly one every six months.  But since then, I've been suffering
very frequent bouts of *incredibly intense* itching of the anal
region, especially in the evenings.  Each episode can last several
hours and they tend to reoccur several days at a stretch before going
away.  As best as I can tell, there are no visible signs around the
anus (no blisters or skin breaks) but the itching can be almost
unbearable.  I've also been getting occasional blisters on the back
of my head, something I don't remember happening in the past.

Out of a sense of futilitiy, I didn't seek medical advice for about
a year.  And when I did, my general practitioner merely prescribed
a course of Valtrex even though I was asymptomatic at the time.  While
I was on that drug, the bouts of itching stopped completely.  But as
soon as I stopped the Valtrex a few weeks later, the itching episodes
resumed, seemingly even more furiously than before.

I didn't like the way my stomach reacted to the Valtrex, so I started
doing some research, and I tried Rhus Toxicondendron.  And that's worked
very well for me.  I take a dose whenever I feel the itching about to
start, and that usually lasts me about a week before I have to take
another dose (3 x 30c).  I can live with that.

The reason I'm posting this, though, is to ask about my chances of
infecting a sexual partner.  Ever since the original infection, I've
been very religious about using a condom during oral sex, both giving and
receiving.  However, I've recently started dating someone who looks
to be getting serious.  He wants us to start having oral sex without
condoms.  I've put him off so far.  But since I've already told him
that I'm HIV-negative (and he's told me the same), I think it's time
for me to tell him about my herpes.  But before I do, I'm trying to
educate myself as much as I can, so we can discuss the risks involved.

These are some of my questions I have: how do I know when I'm
shedding the virus, and is there anything I can do/take to reduce
those times?  In particular, is there a relationship between my
having an episode of anal itching and an increased risk to my
partner in my giving or receiving unprotected oral sex?  I guess I'm
trying to figure out if my itching episodes constitute an actual
outbreak, during which I'm especially contagious.  And would the
viral shedding extend beyond my anal area to my saliva, penile skin
and (pre-)ejaculate?

Since the Rhus T seems to suppress my symptoms effectively, is it
reasonable to assume that it lessens the viral shedding as well?
Or am I better off going on some permanent medication like Valtrex
or Acyclovir if I want to minimize the risks of exposing my partner
at all times?

I have many other questions, but I've gone on long enough.  I'd really
be grateful for any advice, recommendations or anecdotes anyone would
like to offer in response.

JJ