50 Mission Cap,

It's never an easy thing to do but at least you are going to tell her...
have you thought about the idea that she might already have herpes simplex
virus? It's probably a good idea to talk out the std issue with her. See if
reading our story will help you:

http://www.yoshi2me.com/herpes-telling.html

Hang in there... ok?

Angela :)

Hi 50,

Just focus on being honest and hopefully she'll appreciate you for it.  I
haven't had anyone disappear on me yet....But it is always an option, I
guess.

Stay positive!  And remember, the way you think about your herpes is the way
she will see it.  So, if you present it as this horrible thing, then that's
what she'll think and she may just run screaming.  However, if you present
it as this minor thing you have, then she'll get the message that it isn't
that big of a deal.

Please let us know what happens.

ar

If you're depressed already... see a shrink... then you can ask the shrink
how to tell her. The shrink will know exactly how to break bad news and make
it sound not so bad...

(hi, sorry......I think I sent this directly to you instead of replying to
the group. I don't quite have the knack of this yet. Anyway, here is my
post:

Hi, sorry to hear of the pain you're experiencing. I've been through that
one and it's always difficult. The best thing to do is to educate yourself
as much as you can about HSV, so that when you talk to her you can answer
her questions. You'll want to be as knowledgeable as you can be - about your
specific symptoms and course of recurrences, and also about transmission
issues, etc. Be honest, matter of fact and calm, and present it as in
inconvenience, not a tragedy. Sit her down and have the talk during a time
when you are not being physically intimate. I think that keeping it fairly
simple, honest and straightforward at first is best. Then give her some time
to digest everything. She may be shocked or a bit frightened at first, but
that doesn't mean she will reject you. Be patient, try to put herself in her
shoes as well, and wait for her reply. She may need some time to think about
it. Be prepared to answer a lot of questions that she may have.

I think that most people are accepting of it and appreciate a person's
honesty in telling. They tend to see it as a character strength and
understand that it must take courage to bring up the subject. I had one
boyfriend who rejected  me because of it - and looking back I realize I'm
very lucky. Now I have a much more serious illness and I realize that he
would have dropped me like a hot potato at the first sign of trouble.
Sometimes this can be a good way of weeding out the 'wrong ones'. Thank
goodness he rejected me because now I have a guy who is very u
understanding. He views it as a minor inconvenience, and now he's sticking
with me through the new, very serious illness. Imagina that!

Hope this helps.
TJ