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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Herpes / June 2004Help!
Hi all, New here and recently diagnosed with HSV-2(arrggghhhh!). I bit of history. I am fairly certain that I was infected by my last partner and that she willingly transmitted HSV to me. We're not together anymore but here's my question. What do I do now? Am I destined to be alone for the rest of time or is there a chance that I could tell someone that I have this and they will want to stick around? I have always had a high sex drive and am very healthy otherwise. This sucks! 50 Well, hopefully you'll have mild symptoms. Most people do. The only thing you've really lost is casual sex. You have to tell each partner you have, that you've got HSV-2... you don't want to have to do that very often so you have to make sure you care about the person a lot. So, no more picking up girls at bars... no more one night stands... etc... But, if you have the facts... all the info a girl would want about the disease... any girl that really cares about you shouldn't have a problem. Before I had the disease I dated a girl who had it. When she told me, she had no information about the disease. She just said "I have herpes" and that was it. I wanted to date her but refused to have sex with her because I didn't have enough info. The internet was just emerging at the time so there wasn't much info out there yet and doctors are all morons and gave me bad information. She dumped me because I wouldn't sleep with her. If she had her facts strait before she told me, things would have been different. I would have told her to go on suppressive therapy and bought a bunch of condoms. So, I suggest being well prepared before talking with a girl about the disease. Make sure you can answer any questions she may ask. > Hi all, > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > 50 I've had a few outbreaks of small blisters. No pain or anything. I was never a casual sex kind of guy anyway so I'n not worried about that. Just wondering if people tend to run fast and far once then find out you have HSV. I'm probably more worried than I have to be. > Well, hopefully you'll have mild symptoms. Most people do. The only thing > you've really lost is casual sex. You have to tell each partner you have, [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] >> >>50 >I've had a few outbreaks of small blisters. No pain or anything. I was >never a casual sex kind of guy anyway so I'n not worried about that. >Just wondering if people tend to run fast and far once then find out you >have HSV. I'm probably more worried than I have to be. In my experience, women don't run away at all. From what I can tell, they are more impressed by the honesty than they are scared of the disease. Apparently, nice guys are in short supply, and a little problem like HSV doesn't much diminish their worth. It's not easy to tell, I know, but I think you'll wind up being surprised at the non-negative reaction you'll get when you do. Take care, Mike The people that run away, didn't like you all that much in the first place. To be honest, this disease is a great way to find out if someone truely cares about you for who you are and isn't just looking for a warm body to fill a space for a while. > I've had a few outbreaks of small blisters. No pain or anything. I was > never a casual sex kind of guy anyway so I'n not worried about that. [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > >> > >>50 Hmmm....at what point should I tell the girl? Obviously, before any sexual contact but when is a good time...after 10 dates? Right away? The night of the deed? > Well, hopefully you'll have mild symptoms. Most people do. The only thing > you've really lost is casual sex. You have to tell each partner you have, [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] >> >>50 When you realize you're in love. and, btw, relizing you're in love should come BEFORE the sex... lol > When you realize you're in love. Or perhaps when you realize you're in love and so is she.... > When you realize you're in love. You can't love someone that doesn't love you back... it took me years to realize that. > Or perhaps when you realize you're in love and so is she.... > > > When you realize you're in love. > Hmmm....at what point should I tell the girl? Obviously, before any > sexual contact but when is a good time...after 10 dates? Right away? > The night of the deed? I told my now husband right after the first kiss. I didn't want to get involved with someone that would run out on me. I didn't want to lead him on and him get mad because he might have thought that I was trying to trick him into something. Know what I mean? I think it's different with each couple though. BTW, we didn't kiss until the fourth or fifth date. We met at a singles dance. Lots of people around. But I had made up my mind that I was not playing any games and anyone that was could go jump! It's not a matter of ,Oh I hope someone will not think I'm not good enough or I'm bad or whatever. The thing is, does this person have the character to take the good with the bad? Are they mature enough to think beyond the surface? If all they want is sex I hope the next person they sleep with does not have something deadly and not tell them. Ok, I'm rambling again. Take care, Wanda > > Well, hopefully you'll have mild symptoms. Most people do. The only thing > > you've really lost is casual sex. You have to tell each partner you have, [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > >> > >>50 > Hi all, > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > 50 Hi! I'm guessing you have hsv genitally. No, your life is not over by a long shot. Different yes, but certainly not over. So, what to do now? What do you like to do? You can still date, get married, have ten kids and whatever else you might think of! Ok, so ten is a few too many? Oh well. I had herpes for a few years before I met my husband and had my son. A few things you might want to read up on. Triggers Testing Getting a decent doc How herpes is passed and when and a lot of other stuff that will come up as you read and talk to people here. Ask us anything. There are some very kind hearted people here that I started talking to when I stumbled in here some years ago. Oh yeah, WooHoo for the high sex drive! : ) I'm sure you'll need it sooner or later! Wanda Dear 50, Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but it is not the end of the world. Sounds as though you need lots of education and perhaps some counselling too. Are you able to get a copy of the book "The Truth About Herpes" by Stephen Saks? This is an excellent reference source that should answer all your questions. Also, is there sexual health counselling available where you live? You really need to ventilate your feelings, as we all know the diagnosis can be a shock and you may need some help to cope with the anger you're obviously feeling right now. Your sex life is certainly not over, but there are precautions you now need to take. There are also many herpes dating services available. Check out the web site for MPWH (Meet People With Herpes). Hopes this helps, Maree > Hi all, > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > 50 |
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