Don't torture yourself over it, just tell.  It's the right thing to
do.  If you don't tell, you'll torture yourself even more, and that
wouldn't be good for your mental health or the health of your
relationship.  If you are in the least bit serious (and even if
you're not, really) about the guy you owe it to him to get it off
your chest.

As to whether it's easier to transfer an HSV1 infection from the
oral region than from the genital region, I doubt that the
difference in risk is very large.  There may be less shedding one
way over the other, but there is no way to know for sure just when
or how often.  And condoms are not fool proof protection against
HSV, though they're pretty good.

Another thing to consider is that your boyfriend, or ex, might
already have HSV1, if not genitally, then verly likely orally.  The
older one gets the more likely that one has it at least orally.  If
he already has it, then you two are on fairly even ground,
especially if he, too, experiences few or zero outbreaks.  If he has
never experienced an outbreak there are blood tests that can
determine if he's been exposed or not.  If it turns out that he's
got oral HSV1 (which he'd have to verify by remembering an oral
outbreak at some time) then that gives him a limited immunity to
also picking up your HSV1 genitally.

All in all it's not that bad a situation, but the best way through
it is to be open and honest.  I know all too well how scary the
prospects can be, but I've never gotten a negative reaction to my
tellings, and have been on the receiving end of some tellings, too,
so I know how much being honest is appreciated.

Best luck and we're hear for all your herpes needs. ;-)

Mike

Oh! Your female... I'm sorry! *turns red*

So, what you should do is tell him. He should understand. And if he doesn't
there are lotsa guys in here that would be willing to take you out dancing
anytime you'd want to. I'm not very good at dancing myself but would be
perfectly willing to step on your toes for several hours if you'd like!

Trust me, you're just as pretty as you were before you had the disease. So
don't worry!

Under no circumstances should you EVER have sex withOUT telling your
partner.  Period.

There is absolutely no excuse anyone could possibly ever come up with to
excuse themselves from not telling.

ar

I thought of something else in the short period of pre-sleep tossing
and turning last night.

You don't really need to tell.  Heh heh.  All you need to do, and
what everyone *should* do before they enter into a new sexual
relationship, is say, "Listen, I've slept with other people, you've
slept with other people.  Before we sleep with each other, let's
both go in for a full STI screening, including Herpes and HIV,
Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, etc."

Then, you just wait for your test results.

It's a way to innocently break the ice on the subject, and it also
has the advantage of ensuring that you're not going to catch
something else *worse* than Herpes.

Eh?  Good idea?

Mike