 |
 | Home | Contact Us | FAQ | Search & Site Map | Link to Us |
 | Sign In | Join | Other 45 Sites in Network |
Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Herpes / May 2004Need your general advice...
Hey all. I need your general advice. I've had herpes for about 2 months now. I am 24 years old. I was, as you can imagine, devastated (and in some respects, I still am. I view myself a lot differently than I used to). I received genital herpes while someone who had oral herpes went down on me. I've practiced extremely safe sex my entire life and I'm still getting over the irony of the circumstances. I don't even *like* oral sex! So it is just fitting that oral sex was my doom. Some more questions (sorry about the randomness of this post, I would like to say everything I've been thinking): 1) Will I now get oral herpes? I have been noticing a few small bumps around my mouth but I feel like I'm just being silly, they're probably just zits (I've been breaking out more since I got the virus) 2) Because I'm on Valtrex, when and how often (generally) am I "contagious"? When and when can't I have sex? Will I have outbreaks at all? Is Valtrex a safe drug that I can continue taking as long as I want to? 3) Have you ever gone to www.neveranoutbreak.com? Do you believe that that stuff works? Before getting herpes, I never believed in using drugs for anything, not even aspirin. But I want to increase my chances of being outbreak-free. Is there anything you can recommend? I'm afraid to get off Valtrex because I'm afraid I'll have outbreaks all the time, or that I will be more likely to transmit the disease to someone else. 4) How many people have completely run away when you've told them you have herpes? I haven't dated anyone since I got the herpes, but I did have a stupid, drunken night of sex (and we used a condom), and I can't tell him, since I'm in law school and the community would crucify me if they found out. 5) I've been on sites like H-Date and I am, frankly, terrified at the people I see on there. None of them seem like me. I feel so alone. I just need some general advice. How'd you pull through? I'd appreciate it. Hi Queen Burger, I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. But, yeah, most of us can identify with how you are feeling. :) Keep reading below for my comments: > 1) Will I now get oral herpes? I have been noticing a few small bumps > around my mouth but I feel like I'm just being silly, they're probably > just zits (I've been breaking out more since I got the virus) The virus stays put in the area where the infection occured. It does not migrate through the body. So, if you were infected ONLY in the genital area, then you will have genital herpes. However, that does not mean that you weren't also infected orally. But that would mean contact orally. Your genital herpes can not become oral herpes. > 2) Because I'm on Valtrex, when and how often (generally) am I > "contagious"? When and when can't I have sex? Will I have outbreaks > at all? Is Valtrex a safe drug that I can continue taking as long as > I want to? I can't answer the question as to how often you will be contagious. What you should know is that the longer you have herpes, the less you will shed asymptomatically. Which means that you become less contagious. Also, I'm going to assume you have type 1 herpes. Type 1 is generally more difficult to pass on from genital to genital. You can, however, more easily infect someone orally through oral sex. I have had genital type 1 for 18 years or so and my ex husband never showed any signs of getting from me. (We were together for 17 of those years) > 3) Have you ever gone to www.neveranoutbreak.com? Do you believe that > that stuff works? Before getting herpes, I never believed in using [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > all the time, or that I will be more likely to transmit the disease to > someone else. Whether or not you stay on Valtrex is up to you. I've never been on the meds and I rarely have outbreaks. Though, the first two years were pretty bad. I've been to Neveranoutbreak but can't currently remember which one that is. Bottom line, none of the crap you will see online that promises you relief from herpes will work. Period. Don't waste your money. If you want to help yourself then the very best thing you can do is be healthy. Your immune system is the super herpes fighter of the body. Increase the health of your immune system by eating right, getting exercise, and getting plenty of rest. Overtime you will also learn if you have any triggers. Triggers can be certain foods, contact with chemicals, stress, sex/friction, etc. When you have identified any triggers that you have, then you can just do your best to eliminate those as well. > 4) How many people have completely run away when you've told them you > have herpes? I haven't dated anyone since I got the herpes, but I did > have a stupid, drunken night of sex (and we used a condom), and I > can't tell him, since I'm in law school and the community would > crucify me if they found out. Well, of course, you have to tell before having sex. That being said, I have yet to have any run screaming when I've told them. Since being divorced, I've told 3 people. All three of them already had herpes. One had type 2 and the others had type 1. > 5) I've been on sites like H-Date and I am, frankly, terrified at the > people I see on there. None of them seem like me. I feel so alone. This is normal. H-Date is a little scary for me too. :) The bigger dating site is Antopia's Meeting People With Herpes. (MPwH) Check it out. > I just need some general advice. How'd you pull through? I'd > appreciate it. Time. Knowledge is Power. Etc. It really does get better. Also, being able to talk to people about it really does help. So, stick around here. :) ar I am also new to this mess. and have written you nice people before I keep reading that they are on Valtrx whenever they want , or permanently ,, my Doctor just gave me a weeks supply and no refill, Why is that ? IT is type 1i genital, ,, so she tells me,,, Thanks again, , That is type 1 sorry for the typo Doctors often do this. We don't really know why. But yes, there are two ways to take your meds. The first is on an as needed basis. As soon as you feel prodrome (tingle, itch, etc) start taking the pills. The second is called suppressive therapy. You take the pill every day and it helps to cut down on recurrances and it helps to cut down on the longevity of the outbeaks that you do have. Both ways require having the pills at your disposal. I suggest you ask your doctor why she decided that. And, how does she know it is type 1? Did she do a culture? A blood test? Always make sure you have copies of all lab reports. ar > I am also new to this mess. and have written you nice people before I > keep reading that they are on Valtrx whenever they want , or permanently > ,, my Doctor just gave me a weeks supply and no refill, Why is that ? > IT is type 1i genital, ,, so she tells me,,, Thanks again, , > Both ways require having the pills at your disposal. How do you guys afford Valtrex? I am on some sort of Bridges to Access program right now (I'm a student and can't afford the pills), but I think that will run out within 8 months. What will I do if I can't afford Valtrex? You don't have to take the meds. I've never taken them. They are a "nice to have." The disease won't progress if you aren't on the meds. Yes, they can make you more comfortable and they will protect your partner more, but you don't have to be on them. ar > > Both ways require having the pills at your disposal. > > How do you guys afford Valtrex? I am on some sort of Bridges to > Access program right now (I'm a student and can't afford the pills), > but I think that will run out within 8 months. What will I do if I > can't afford Valtrex? Not everybody needs to take meds. There are some folks that do have their own reasons for taking meds. For example: transmission rate is cut in half, the decrease of flare ups and asymptomatic shedding, everybody has their own reasons for taking or not taking the meds. The folks that have oral herpes (cold sores & fever blisters) are going to shed the virus from the oral area 18% of days. The folks that have genital herpes are going to shed 15%-20% of days. Many people take meds to minimize the asymptomatic shedding if their partner doesn't have herpes. Then again - not everybody takes meds. My husband doesn't have genital herpes and I am not on suppression and I haven't had a flare up in a very long time. But, it's our choice to go without. I do have plenty of Valtrex in my house though - I like to be prepared. lol Angela :) www.yoshi2me.com Why are you taking Valtrex when you can take Acyclovir? Acyclovir is less expensive. Do you get flare ups a lot? Are you on suppression? I had heard that the Bridges to Access program was pretty good. I thought the benefits lasted for awhile if you make less than a certain amount per/year? I didn't realize that it didn't work that way? Angela www.yoshi2me.com > > Both ways require having the pills at your disposal. > > How do you guys afford Valtrex? I am on some sort of Bridges to > Access program right now (I'm a student and can't afford the pills), > but I think that will run out within 8 months. What will I do if I > can't afford Valtrex? > The virus stays put in the area where the infection occured. It does not > migrate through the body. So, if you were infected ONLY in the genital > area, then you will have genital herpes. However, that does not mean that > you weren't also infected orally. But that would mean contact orally. Your > genital herpes can not become oral herpes. What are oral herpes like? I seem to get tiny little bumps around my mouth, but I have never gotten them before (not even during my first genital outbreak) and since I've been on Valtrex, I have not had a genital outbreak. They could still be zits, but I'm still worried. > I can't answer the question as to how often you will be contagious. What > you should know is that the longer you have herpes, the less you will shed [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > so and my ex husband never showed any signs of getting from me. (We were > together for 17 of those years) So I can't receive oral sex, basically? I am assuming I have type 1 herpes as well. The clinic didn't test for the type of herpes, but the last guy I was with at the time got a cold sore the next day (after performing oral on me), so I'm imagining that I have type 1. > Overtime you will also learn if you have any triggers. > Triggers can be certain foods, contact with chemicals, stress, sex/friction, > etc. When you have identified any triggers that you have, then you can just > do your best to eliminate those as well. Will I be able to identify those triggers while on Valtrex? I haven't had an outbreak since getting on Valtrex (which was toward the end of March). > Well, of course, you have to tell before having sex. I hate to ask this, but the thought has crossed my mind, so please don't shoot me. Do I really *have* to tell them? I mean, I'm on Valtrex. I know I'm not safe but I'm not as contagious and haven't had an outbreak for two months. I wish someone could tell me the chances of me spreading it. I, frankly, am terrified of telling someone, especially if I don't plan on dating them. Hi Queen: Keep reading below: > What are oral herpes like? I seem to get tiny little bumps around my > mouth, but I have never gotten them before (not even during my first > genital outbreak) and since I've been on Valtrex, I have not had a > genital outbreak. They could still be zits, but I'm still worried. Oral herpes comes in many different forms. Basically, any cold sore or fever blister or sometimes a tiny bump. But they usually are on the lip line or the corner of the mouth. > So I can't receive oral sex, basically? I am assuming I have type 1 > herpes as well. The clinic didn't test for the type of herpes, but > the last guy I was with at the time got a cold sore the next day > (after performing oral on me), so I'm imagining that I have type 1. Sure you can. The decision is up to the person performing. But, you may find that most people already have type 1 herpes orally. So, they can't get it again. Also, once you've had herpes for awhile, you won't shed as much so you will be less contagious over time. Plus, using the Valtrex...I never gave herpes to my ex and we were together for 17 years so there's no need to say "never." But it will be your partner's decision. > Will I be able to identify those triggers while on Valtrex? I haven't > had an outbreak since getting on Valtrex (which was toward the end of > March). More than likely. > I hate to ask this, but the thought has crossed my mind, so please > don't shoot me. Do I really *have* to tell them? I mean, I'm on > Valtrex. I know I'm not safe but I'm not as contagious and haven't > had an outbreak for two months. I wish someone could tell me the > chances of me spreading it. I, frankly, am terrified of telling > someone, especially if I don't plan on dating them. Yes. You have to tell. It's just that simple. If you aren't mature enough to tell the truth about stds, etc, then you aren't mature enough to be having sex. Besides, if you don't disclose, you may set yourself up for a very nasty lawsuit. We don't have very kind things to say around here to people who don't tell first. If you don't plan on dating them...don't have sex with them. The health of a person is THEIR decision...not yours. ar > Oral herpes comes in many different forms. Basically, any cold sore or > fever blister or sometimes a tiny bump. But they usually are on the lip > line or the corner of the mouth. Okay, well, they are tiny bumps, but not on the lip line. I don't remember how close to the corner of the mouth the last one was, but it never itched, never was an open sore, and never resembled a fever blister. I wonder if it is, still. It never produces liquid, nor do I get "outbreak symptoms" (fever, itching in the area, etc.). I dunno. Maybe I should not worry that everything on my body could possibly be herpes. Wouldn't I have had an outbreak there at the same time I had the initial genital outbreak (assuming I was infected by the same person, who had oral herpes)? > > So I can't receive oral sex, basically? > Sure you can. The decision is up to the person performing. But, you may > find that most people already have type 1 herpes orally. So, they can't get > it again. Also, once you've had herpes for awhile, you won't shed as much > so you will be less contagious over time. Plus, using the Valtrex...I never > gave herpes to my ex and we were together for 17 years so there's no need to > say "never." But it will be your partner's decision. I need help here. I know you say that I can still get oral sex, especially if the person already had HSV-1. What if they don't? It's possible to get it then on their mouth, right? Are there precautions that can be taken? Using Valtrex, you *never* gave HSV to your ex? Amazing. I guess I wanna hear more about oral sex when you have genital herpes (I have HSV-1 on my genitals). I guess I don't know what questions to ask, but I sorta want you to talk more about it. :) > > Will I be able to identify those triggers while on Valtrex? I haven't > > had an outbreak since getting on Valtrex (which was toward the end of > > March). > > More than likely. I haven't had anything that seems to indicate an outbreak. I was itchy down there once, and I thought I felt the tingling once. But since I've been on the Valtrex (two months), I haven't had one. Of course, I'm considering myself lucky, but I'm worried I won't be able to identify when something's wrong. Hell, I don't know why I'm overthinking everything. I should just be grateful! > Yes. You have to tell. It's just that simple. If you aren't mature enough > to tell the truth about stds, etc, then you aren't mature enough to be > having sex. Besides, if you don't disclose, you may set yourself up for a > very nasty lawsuit. We don't have very kind things to say around here to > people who don't tell first. If you don't plan on dating them...don't have > sex with them. The health of a person is THEIR decision...not yours. You're right, you're right. It's something I knew, but I guess I needed to hear it again. Thanks for being gentle. I know it was a stupid question. Hi Queen, Keep reading: > Okay, well, they are tiny bumps, but not on the lip line. I don't > remember how close to the corner of the mouth the last one was, but it [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > time I had the initial genital outbreak (assuming I was infected by > the same person, who had oral herpes)? Well, yeah, stop worrying about everything. However, I remember those days! No, you might not have had an outbreak at the same time you had your genital outbreak. Herpes is wacky that way. > I need help here. I know you say that I can still get oral sex, > especially if the person already had HSV-1. What if they don't? It's [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > genital herpes (I have HSV-1 on my genitals). I guess I don't know > what questions to ask, but I sorta want you to talk more about it. :) Yes, you can pass genital type 1 to someone mouth through oral sex. There are lots of precautions. You can take the meds, which cut down on suppression. You can use dental dams - made for just this type of scenario. (Don't ask me about them, I have no experience with them) Also, the longer you have it, the less you shed. You are only contagious about 3% of the time. I never used the meds. My husband never showed signs of getting herpes from me. But he also never had a blood test to rule it out. I have genital type 1 as well. Just keep asking questions. > I haven't had anything that seems to indicate an outbreak. I was > itchy down there once, and I thought I felt the tingling once. But > since I've been on the Valtrex (two months), I haven't had one. Of > course, I'm considering myself lucky, but I'm worried I won't be able > to identify when something's wrong. Hell, I don't know why I'm > overthinking everything. I should just be grateful! I remember having the same thoughts. This was the advice I got: "It gets better." And you know what...it really does. > You're right, you're right. It's something I knew, but I guess I > needed to hear it again. Thanks for being gentle. I know it was a > stupid question. No, it wasn't a stupid question! I think we've all probably had the same thoughts...:) That's why we're here, to keep you from making a stupid mistake. Well, I wasn't as gentle as I could have been in a previous post. So I apologize. What you need is some time. Be gentle on yourself. ar >I've had herpes for about 2 months now. I am 24 years old. <snip> >I don't even *like* oral sex! >So it is just fitting that oral sex was my doom. Just a quick comment here, having herpes is a far cry from being doomed. The more you learn about it and the longer you have it, the more you'll realize that the stigma is far worse than the virus itself. And it's the stigma that's making you feel the way you do right now (devastated). Not the virus. Physically, you're going to be fine. Maybe an adjustment here and there for sex, maybe not. Depends on a number of things, including your partner. >1) Will I now get oral herpes? No. It can't change locations without help from you. So avoid actions that could lead to autoinnoculation for the first few months ... that's long enough for your immune system to fully engage against the virus. After that, there's not much chance that you'll transfer it to your oral region. >2) Because I'm on Valtrex, when and how often (generally) am I >"contagious"? You're contageous anytime you have an outbreak. Other than that, you're only contageous during periods of asymptomatic shedding which, after you've been infected awhile, isn't usually very often. The problem is, and this is the real kick in the butt, there's no way of knowing exactly when those "not very often" times are occuring. But Valtrex, taken suppresively, cuts asymptomatic shedding down quite a bit so your risk of transfering it is even less than it would otherwise be. >Will I have outbreaks at all? Maybe, maybe not. Everybody is different. You didn't mention which type you have. However, if it's type 1 genital, you're less likely to have as many outbreaks as you would have in the long run with type 2 genital. By "long run" I mean after a year or two. First two years is anybody's guess. There are some things you can do to fight it but there's no way of predicting how well or how not so well your body will do against it. >Is Valtrex a safe drug that I can continue taking as long as >I want to? Yep. For a normal individual, with all systems normal, it's safe. >3) Have you ever gone to www.neveranoutbreak.com? Do you believe that >that stuff works? That's what's known around here as snake oil and the site is run by a snakeoil salesman. DMSO is what he's selling and used incorrectly, it can be dangerous. So don't bother with it. And no it doesn't work. >But I want to increase my >chances of being outbreak-free. Is there anything you can recommend? >I'm afraid to get off Valtrex because I'm afraid I'll have outbreaks >all the time, or that I will be more likely to transmit the disease to >someone else. Since you're newly infected, yes you might (and might only means maybe) have outbreaks for awhile. However, the longer you're infected the more likely your outbreaks will decrease in frequency and severity. So, aside from quite a few diet and excercise recommendations you'll get around here, it won't hurt to stay on the Valtrex for awhile. You can get off of it later just to see how your body is handling the virus if you'd like. >4) How many people have completely run away when you've told them you >have herpes? Ignorance and phobias come in all shapes and sizes so you never know who's going to react how before you tell them. You should know yourself however, since you know you're infected, there are things you can do to avoid infecting someone else. So the risk of you infecting someone is less than the next person who may have it and not even know it. Something like 80%-90% of the people with herp don't know it. >I haven't dated anyone since I got the herpes, but I did >have a stupid, drunken night of sex (and we used a condom), and I >can't tell him, since I'm in law school and the community would >crucify me if they found out. My recommendation .... don't do that anymore. And for several reasons. Not the least of which is you could come down with something serious. >5) I've been on sites like H-Date and I am, frankly, terrified at the >people I see on there. None of them seem like me.I feel so alone. Believe me, you're anything but alone. Genital Herp is incredibly common. But it can be so minor, mild, and innocuous that most people don't even know they have it. Only a small percentage of people infected actually have an outbreak that's noticeable. >I just need some general advice. First step, find out for sure which type you have. It matters for several reasons. Then, learn all you can about herp in general from reputable and reliable sources (this does NOT include that "neveranoutbreak" site you mentioned). Here's a good one to get you started; http://www.westoverheights.com/freebooktext.html Then come back here with more questions. You can't learn it all at once, it's going to take awhile. And we're better at answering questions and discussing issues than giving a complete Herpes education from scratch. >How'd you pull through? I think finding friends in your same boat might be a good idea. There are lots of help/support groups or just plain ol fashioned socializing groups around. So depending on your location, there may be a group near you. Otherwise, you can make lots of friends in groups online. M2 "Queen Burger" wrote in message > 1) Will I now get oral herpes? I have been noticing a few small bumps > around my mouth but I feel like I'm just being silly, they're probably > just zits (I've been breaking out more since I got the virus) You will not contract oral herpes from your own genital herpes. However, it is possible to contract oral herpes via oral sex and/or via kissing somebody that has oral herpes. > 2) Because I'm on Valtrex, when and how often (generally) am I > "contagious"? You are probably contagious at times before, during, and after a flare up. If you are the type of person that doesn't get flare ups you are probably contagious about 2%-3% of the time. Keep in mind that you can still pass herpes even if you don't have a flare up. > When and when can't I have sex? You're sex life is not over just because you have herpes as long as you talk about herpes and stds prior to having sex AND maybe even insisting on some testing, too!!! After all - you don't want to add to what you already have - right? > Will I have outbreaks > at all? Some people have outbreaks and some people do not have outbreaks. Everybody is different. > Is Valtrex a safe drug that I can continue taking as long as > I want to? Sure!!! Why not??? I took Valtrex (500 mg) every single day for two years while I was on suppression. I didn't have any problems. I am no longer on suppression today though - Also, I don't feel that Valtrex is something that you have to do for the rest of your life either - > 3) Have you ever gone to **********. Do you believe that > that stuff works? I think if it sounds too good to be true and the information doesn't jive with the truth about herpes then it probably is too good to be true. > Before getting herpes, I never believed in using > drugs for anything, not even aspirin. But I want to increase my > chances of being outbreak-free. Is there anything you can recommend? Valtrex, Famvir, or Acyclovir. Why? Because these anti-virals have been proven to reduce flare ups AND transmission to non-herpes people by about 50%. (At least the Valtrex has anyway...) Why would you even contemplate using something that has not been clinically tested? Also, stay away from the web sites that promise you a herpes cure. Those are all hogwash. > I'm afraid to get off Valtrex because I'm afraid I'll have outbreaks > all the time, or that I will be more likely to transmit the disease to > someone else. How long have you been taking Valtrex? > 4) How many people have completely run away when you've told them you > have herpes? Not one person ever ran away from me when I told them that I have genital herpes. > I just need some general advice. How'd you pull through? I'd > appreciate it. Here is my herpes biography: http://www.yoshi2me.com/herpes-biography.html Hope this helps - Angela : ) www.yoshi2me.com > > 2) Because I'm on Valtrex, when and how often (generally) am I > > "contagious"? [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > contagious about 2%-3% of the time. Keep in mind that you can still pass > herpes even if you don't have a flare up. I haven't had a flare-up since being on Valtrex (two months). > You're sex life is not over just because you have herpes as long as you talk > about herpes and stds prior to having sex AND maybe even insisting on some > testing, too!!! After all - you don't want to add to what you already have - > right? I'm terrified of telling someone. TERRIFIED. I'm in law school. Most of these fools DON'T have herpes, DON'T have STDs, and WILL look down on me. I'm a very well-known and well-liked girl. I can't tell ANYONE here about this virus (potential sexual partners, I mean), because I would never live the reputation down. > I took Valtrex (500 mg) every single day for two years > while I was on suppression. I didn't have any problems. I am no longer on > suppression today though - And how does your body handle it NOT on Valtrex? > > I'm afraid to get off Valtrex because I'm afraid I'll have outbreaks > > all the time, or that I will be more likely to transmit the disease to > > someone else. > > How long have you been taking Valtrex? 2 months. > Not one person ever ran away from me when I told them that I have genital > herpes. So they all stuck around and had sex with you? Did you infect any of them? > I'm terrified of telling someone. TERRIFIED. I'm in law school. > Most of these fools DON'T have herpes, DON'T have STDs, and WILL look > down on me. If they follow the US average then 21% will be carrying HSV2 virus (ie somewhere on the scale of having outbreaks, having had outbreaks or being an asymptomatic source). A brief look at data on college populations makes the point that they are one of the highest points of passing the virus around and the infection rate can be higher than average....OK you're probably at grad school as I understand the US education setup for law but they nearly all went through college first I assume. Not to mention that about 70-80% will be HSV1 positive and that accounts for about a third of new infections in the genital region. There's either a lot of ignorance, denial or people keeping quiet in that college of yours.... > I'm a very well-known and well-liked girl. I can't tell > ANYONE here about this virus (potential sexual partners, I mean), > because I would never live the reputation down. If you plan to have sex with someone you have to tell them, and beforehand. The hows and whys I'll leave to those who have done it. > So they all stuck around and had sex with you? Did you infect any of > them? Transmission rate in monogamous couples, who avoid sex around outbreaks, runs at about 4% of partners getting infected per year on average (that means some do get it first time, some never do and it works out about 4 in 100 in each year). Now thats virus transmission and infection....it doesnt say anything about them actually getting disease outbreaks of the classic type. Its slow...the reason the virus is so successful is its relative silence that disconnects a lot of disease outbreaks from an apparent carrier. Tim -- When playing rugby, its not the winning that counts, but the taking apart ICQ: 5178568 "Queen Burger" <innoutburger48@hotmail.com> wrote in message > I'm terrified of telling someone. TERRIFIED. I'm in law school. > Most of these fools DON'T have herpes, DON'T have STDs, and WILL look > down on me. I'm a very well-known and well-liked girl. I can't tell > ANYONE here about this virus (potential sexual partners, I mean), > because I would never live the reputation down. This is your fear speaking. I mean, honestly, how do you know they don't have herpes? A very large amount of the population has type 1 herpes orally and a good portion have type 2 genitally. The fact is that you really don't know who has it and who doesn't. Give yourself some time to adjust to having herpes. You'll find that your fears are not that warranted. Sure, telling is scary. And we've all been in the position that you're in. Just give it some time. ar >"Queen Burger" <innoutburger48@hotmail.com> wrote in message >> I'm terrified of telling someone. TERRIFIED. I'm in law school. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > >ar It's also intolerance and double standards talking. Only 'dirty" or "slutty", disliked and unpopular people and less "educated" people get STDs. If you can get into law school then you are too special and certainly above ever getting or sharing STDs. --But not above getting drunk and being stupid and careless with your health and your body. If viruses and illness-causing bacteria had a sense of morality the death camp runners, terrorists, the Rwanda genocide leaders and Sudan government leaders, people who beat or kill their spouses, beat or kill their children would all die of strep infections and pneumonia, influenza, etc. Police, social workers, doctors, and court rooms would be less busy. The judgement of illness would take care of all those who harmed others. Diseases as morality is just plain wrong and stupid thinking. It's making excuses, not facing facts, and refusing to be accountable. That does not make for a good relationship or marriage partner or parent or even a responsible citizen. I don't to think about the kind of lawyer that makes. Queen Burger, grow up. Grow into a better and wiser person. LK > It's also intolerance and double standards talking. Only 'dirty" or > "slutty", disliked and unpopular people and less "educated" people get > STDs. If you can get into law school then you are too special and > certainly above ever getting or sharing STDs. --But not above getting > drunk and being stupid and careless with your health and your body. Hey. I didn't write to be ridiculed. I'm just telling you what it would be like for a law student like me to be known as "the girl with herpes." I'm not saying that law students are the most virtuous people out there, nor am I saying they're immune, but I *am* saying that I'd really get typecasted as something I'm not, due to all of the negativity associated with the herpes virus and getting herpes. And that'd be really, really, REALLY difficult for me to deal with in such a small, close-knit community. > Queen Burger, grow up. Grow into a better and wiser person. Wow. I came here for support, not degradation. Hi Queen, Sorry you are feeling bashed. But, if you reread what you are typing, then you will see that it can sound like you are putting the rest of us down. I know that is not your intent. But the fact is that this is your new reality. You have herpes. You are just like everyone else on this planet who has it. And that probably includes a good portion of the people sitting in your law classes. ar "Queen Burger" <innoutburger48@hotmail.com> wrote in message > Hey. I didn't write to be ridiculed. I'm just telling you what it > would be like for a law student like me to be known as "the girl with [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Wow. I came here for support, not degradation. Ar's right - the last time I checked we all have to pee and poop and wipe (some of us) with toilet paper. lol Angela :) www.yoshi2me.com > Hi Queen, > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > ar LK writes: >> Queen Burger, grow up. Grow into a better and wiser person. >Wow. I came here for support, not degradation. As you can see, there are judgemental people here as well as in law school ;-) Frankly, I think LK went overboard considering this is a support group and you were just being honest. And further, you didn't create the atmosphere and stigma at your school, it's just a compressed version of the same stigma that pervades the rest of society. We all have to deal with that. And at first, we all had to step back and struggle with the new set of cards we'd been dealt, just like you're doing now. Unfortunately, LK is right in that once you realize you're infected, you have to make a choice. You're going to be part of the solution, or part of the problem. The general opinion here, and I agree, is that it's not fair, right, or ethical (maybe not even legal, you'd know better than me) to put someone at risk for any sort of disease without their knowledge and consent. Not even one that won't seriously harm them like herpes. Give it some thought and I'll bet you'll agree. But don't let one guy's harsh bedside manner turn you off on the whole group. There are others here who are less judgemental even if they agree with the basics that LK so bluntly espouses. I'm hoping you're thick skinned enough to let that comment go by, and stick around with more questions until you're satisfied you have the answers you want (and hopefully stick around even longer). M2 Hail Queen Burger - lol No seriously - there is a negative social stigma associated with this std. Why? Because of the perceptions from folks that share your way of thinking. Hang in there - Angela :) www.yoshi2me.com > > It's also intolerance and double standards talking. Only 'dirty" or > > "slutty", disliked and unpopular people and less "educated" people get [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > > Wow. I came here for support, not degradation. >Wow. I came here for support, not degradation. Now that you've gotten the wake up call to reality, you can relax and do the right thing. And keep doing what is right and legally required, informed consent, with every potential partner. You chose the sexual activity that gave you the disease. I got mine from an abusive husband who threatened to again beat our son and me if I refused sex with him. I scared to death he'd start hitting when I asked how he got those marks on penis. He lied and said he got caught in his zipper. I said, "In two different places?" I don't remember what he said, but I remember the fear I felt and the promise I made to myself that this was the last time I'd let him touch me. Weeks later he threatened to hire someone to cut me up if I didn't satisfy him. I kept my promise to myself. He never hired anyone. I got out the house and the marriage. The worry about social stigma is nothing when you fear for the your own life and your child's. It's a lot easier to get help to escape an abusive marriage theses days. The truth and a sense of perspective aren't always fun. Courage is required in many things. I'm not saying it is going get easier to talk about, but you'll learn to survive and thrive and be glad you weeded out the ones who couldn't handle it. You'll make it. LK "Queen Burger" <innoutburger48@hotmail.com> wrote in message > I'm terrified of telling someone. TERRIFIED. I'm in law school. You're terrified of telling because you are in law school? If I were in law school I would be more terrified of *not* telling. > Most of these fools DON'T have herpes, DON'T have STDs, and WILL look > down on me. Most of those fools (as you put it) have either never been tested for herpes OR they have an std and they don't know that they have one. Besides - how do you know that they DON'T have STDs? > I'm a very well-known and well-liked girl. I can't tell > ANYONE here about this virus (potential sexual partners, I mean), > because I would never live the reputation down. Well - I would rather take a little bit of heat than to knowingly put somebody at risk. Besides - since when do you care what other people think? You're in law school! I have genital herpes - what are you trying to say about my reputation? I have an std and I am very well-known AND well-liked by people that care about me as a person. What ever happened to prioritizing and not being so shallow about life? > > I took Valtrex (500 mg) every single day for two years > > while I was on suppression. I didn't have any problems. I am no longer on > > suppression today though - > > And how does your body handle it NOT on Valtrex? My body is doing fine not being on the Valtrex. :) > > > I'm afraid to get off Valtrex because I'm afraid I'll have outbreaks > > > all the time, or that I will be more likely to transmit the disease to [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > 2 months. 2 months is really not long enough for suppression. > > Not one person ever ran away from me when I told them that I have genital > > herpes. > > So they all stuck around and had sex with you? Did you infect any of > them? You make it sound as though I have slept with the entire world! lol :) Yes, "they all stuck around and had sex with me". lol I have no idea if they contracted herpes from me or not. The bottom line is that it's up to the consenting adults how they wish to proceed. It's the people that know that they have herpes or wish to sweep it under the rug because they are afraid to tell their potential partners the truth that have the real problem - if you really want to know what I think. lol Angela :) www.yoshi2me.com |
Reply to this Message |
 Sign In
 Join
 My Latest Posts My Monitored Threads My Blog My Photo Gallery My Profile My Homepage Start New Thread Enable EMail Alerts Rate this Thread
|
©2008 Advenet LLC Privacy Policy - Terms of Use
This website includes both content owned or controlled by Advenet as well as content owned or controlled by third parties.