There really are no guarantees that you won't get it.  Condoms only cover
that one part of the anatomy, but the herpes virus can shed anywhere in the
"boxer shorts" area.

The good news is that the longer he has had herpes, the less he will shed.

And, if your man takes one of the antiviral medications every day
(suppressive therapy) then that cuts the possibility of shedding down to
about 3%.  And soap and water kill the virus so showering before and after
sex is a good thing (for both of you).  But don't get compulsive about
it...it will might make your boyfriend feel bad.  Oh, he could wear boxer
shorts to keep that whole area covered.  And...have you been tested for
herpes?  It isn't part of the standard std screening and the test has to be
asked for by name.  :)  You might want to get tested just to make sure that
you don't already have it and therefore, worrying about nothing.

To help you to avoid getting herpes, I stronly recommend making sure that
you are as healthy as you can be.  Eat right, exercise, get plenty of rest,
etc.  I have no idea if it will actually help, but anything that keeps your
body from letting the virus in is a good thing.

Take care,
ar

Condoms are an excellent means of protection but nothing is guaranteed
100% effective. For most guys, asymptomatic shedding occurs from the
penis so in your case condoms would be a good idea. Women, on the
other hand, tend to shed in a broader area than guys so if the H
status were reversed, condoms wouldn't be as effective in protecting a
guy. They'd be a lot better than nothing though, even in that case.
Having said all that, there's no way of knowing for absolutely sure
when or where asymptomatic shedding is taking place for an individual
other than knowing it's normally limited to the boxer shorts area.
So use condoms. Actually, some are better than others. They even make
flavored ones ;-)
Also, you can check into suppressive medication. That'll cut the
transfer risk even further.
As for having your boyfriend wearing boxer shorts during sex, you'll
notice that it's the women around here recommending that one.  I think
they just like to make guys look silly LoL!  Granted, wearing
underwear would prevent skin to skin contact thereby easing the mind
of the seriously risk averse, but it sounds like overkill to me. At
least in all but the most risky cases. And it's hard for a guy to
concentrate on sex when his girlfriend is laughing her butt off.

That's just a bottom line average for a group. It doesn't necessarily
correlate to any particular individual. In other words, your boyfriend
may asymptomatically shed much more often than that or possibly even
much less. There's no way of knowing for sure about an individual.
Frequency of outbreaks can be an indicator though. If he has more
outbreaks than average, the more likely he asymptomatically sheds
virus more than average. The reverse is also true for fewer outbreaks.
Remember though, zero outbreaks does not necessarily mean zero
asymptomatic shedding.
Also, the length of time he's been infected is an indicator. The
longer he's had it, the better able his immune system is in fighting
it and the less frequently he should be having outbreaks and
asymptomatic viral shedding.

No. A person is much more contagious during an outbreak.

M2