Hi Joe,

Well, you are not alone with your concerns.  We've all been there and we all
understand.  I'll do my best to answer your questions below:

I'm here to tell you that yes, yes you will.  If that is what both parties
want.  Frankly, I prefer for the man to wear a condom because it helps me to
feel a bit more relaxed about it.  It takes some of the worry away
concerning shedding.

(not during an

I don't keep track of the numbers so I can't help you with that.  But the
longer you have herpes, the less you are likely to shed.  The first year or
so is the worst.  There are antiviral meds that you can take daily to lower
your chances of asymptomatically shedding even further.

Genital herpes is site specific.  It can't travel through your body and
suddenly appear as oral herpes.  So, unless you have oral herpes, don't
worry about oral sex.

That depends on what type of herpes you have.  Make sure the doctor runs
some tests because you'll want to know if you have type 1 or 2.  Type 1
doesn't easily transfer genital to genital and mostly transfers through oral
sex.  So, if you have type 1 genital herpes, then there is a risk of her
getting oral herpes from it.  If you have type 2 herpes, it is very rare for
that to show up orally so chances are she wouldn't get it orally.

That's what we're here for.  Feel free to continue asking questions.

ar

Wow.  It sure looks like everyone had fun over the Holidays.  We're
getting a real New Year rush.  

Sorry you had to be here, Joe, but welcome to the group.

Well, it's easier to pass the virus from male to female, than the
other way around, so you have that working against you.  It's
estimated that we shed asymptomatically anywhere from 1% to 5% of the
time.  It's virtually impossible to know when there's virus around.

I've pasted some study blurbs below.

You can cut the risk by more than half by taking one of the
anti-virals, like Valtrex or Acyclovir.

Yes, on the first question, though it's possible you have an oral
version of HSV and just don't know.  Unfortunately, there's no way to
tell if you have oral HSV unless you ever get an outbreak there.

On the second question, though, an uninfected partner will be at risk
for oral HSV when she gives you, uh, head.

I know how you feel, believe me.  I was very shakey for awhile.  At
first it is a real shock to the system, but it got easier.  It helped
me to realize just how many people already have this thing.  Twenty
five percent of nearly everybody.  Almost every single person I've
told in real life has more or less admitted that they have one form or
another of it.  This misery has a whole lot of company.  And some of
it is pretty nice company, too.

Take care and see below.  The links may or may not work but the
excerpts are fairly complete.

Mike

http://members.aol.com/herpesite/trans.html#risk
Risk of Transmission
In studies of transmission of genital Herpes in couples, the annual
risk of transmission averaged 5 to 10% per year for those abstaining
from sex during outbreaks. The risk of acquisition was much higher
(16.9%) for women, but somewhat lower for those who already had HSV-1.
There is some evidence that people who have HSV-1 are more resistant
to the HSV-2. This should not be interpreted as immunity but rather as
a higher resistance factor. The transmission rate was also lower for
those who used condoms.

http://www.obgyn.net/english/pubs/features/tfp/solomon_smith.htm
The risk of acquiring HSV-2 among sexual partners was prospectively
analyzed in a study by Bryson et al.(8)   After 16 months of
observation, 14% of initially HSV-2 sero-negative partners
seroconverted. All seroconverters were women, suggesting that women
are at greater risk for acquiring HSV than are men. None of the
couples in which seroconversion occurred used condoms or spermicides
during asymptomatic periods. There was an annual 10% acquisition rate
of HSV-2 among couples.(8)

http://www.viridae.com/gen4.htm?
In a study performed at the Universities of Washington and New Mexico,
heterosexual monogamous patients with genital herpes and their
susceptible partners were counselled on avoiding transmission through
limiting sexual contact to asymptomatic periods. This study was on
selected partners where one partner was known to have type 2 herpes
and the other was known to be susceptible by means of a type-specific
blood test (Western blot). Transmission took place in 14 of 144
susceptible partners (9.7%). In most cases, transmission apparently
took place when the infected partner was asymptomatic. In some cases,
transmission took place during the prodrome or pre-symptomatic period.
Where the gender of the susceptible partner was male (the woman had
herpes), transmission took place, despite avoiding active phases of
infection, with an annual rate of 4.5%. Where the gender of the
susceptible partner was female (the man had herpes), transmission took
place, despite avoiding active phases of infection, with an annual
rate of 18.9%. This study also confirmed that people with pre-existing
immunity to type 1 herpes (eg, by being exposed to cold sores earlier
in life) were partially (but not completely) resistant to subsequent
type 2 genital herpes. It is clearly wise to consider the possibility
that asymptomatic shedding might occur when making personal choices
about preventing herpes transmission. In case asymptomatic shedding
does occur, properly used condoms (safer sex procedures) are the best
protection against transmission and will minimize the low everyday
risk that asymptomatic shedding might lead to asymptomatic
transmission. Using sensitive and strict criteria for identifying
people acquiring herpes, this study showed that avoiding sexual
contact during the active phases of infection provides protection for
more than 95% of susceptible men per year and more than 81% of
susceptible women per year. It clearly showed, however, that simple
avoidance of active phases, alone, was not sufficient to prevent
transmission. To further minimize the risk of transmission to a
susceptible partner, safer sex precautions during asymptomatic periods
should be used.

Don't jump to conclusions . . . see your doctor and be sure the doc runs a
herpes test.
Herpes is not included in the routine std testing process so be sure and be
clear on that point.
Since you are going to be tested for herpes you might as well get an HIV
test done and then have that repeated in a few months.

Sure you will . . . there are plenty of people out there that are going to
love you for who you are and not what you have. To many people herpes is a
little thing and there are much bigger things out there to think about.
Check out our story: http://www.yoshi2me.com/page14.html.

When the virus is active on the surface of the skin (even when you can't see
it) the chances of passing it on to another person is common.

You will need to read up on the site and type guidelines listed on this
page: http://www.yoshi2me.com/page6.html. That should help answer those
questions.

Hang on to this website: www.yoshi2me.com . . . I think you will find lots
of helpful information pertaining to herpes. There are also social and
support groups that you might find listed in your area . . .

Good Luck,

Angela
www.yoshi2me.com