I have contracted herpes from an ex-husband whom I hadn't had sexual
contact with in over four years....and it just now showed up.  

No joke.  

Don't assume it hasn't been sitting there or that your most recent
contact gave it to you either.  

r.

Paul,

Someday you are going to look back on what you wrote here and think, "Wow!
Was I wrong!"

We've all been where you are now.  So we do understand, really.

First of all, there are quite a few herpes dating sites out there.

Second, so far, I haven't had any trouble with guys.  I believe that Mike
hasn't any trouble with the ladies, either.  Granted, my experience has been
a little slim because I was married for 17 years.  But, the first guy I told
said that I was worth the risk and we were married for all those years.  But
now I'm divorced and facing dating again and it can be very scary.  The
first guy I told after my divorce already had type 2.  (I have type 1).  The
second guy I told gets cold sores so he already has type 1 so he can't get
it again from me.  So, I guess I'm going at 100% herpes infected so far.

So go see a doctor and get him to run some tests and find out what you
really have.  It might not be herpes at all.  Make sure you find out what
kind you have if it is.  If it's type 1...well, think of all those people
who have cold sores out there.  Oral sex won't be a problem for them...And
if it's type 2, then it's pretty difficult to pass that to someone's mouth
as well.  So oral sex isn't a problem for them, either.  Why were you
worried about oral sex, again?  :)

There are medications you can take that will cut the risk of passing herpes
on to someone else, by the way.  I never took the pills, my husband and I
did not use condoms most of the time and he never showed any signs of
getting herpes.  It's really not a big deal.  Some people may freak out when
you tell them but they weren't the right person for you, anyway.  When do
you tell them is always an issue for debate.  Each situation is different
and you just have to figure it out for yourself.  Oh, if you live in a big
city, then there are herpes support groups, also.  It looks to me like your
chances of meeting a herpes infected person is pretty high.

Now why wouldn't you be comfortable giving a girl oral sex?  Do you have
oral herpes?  Tell us exactly what your misconceptions are and we tell you
the truth.

Take care,
ar

Paul,

If you believe that you are *stupid* and you don't try and learn what you
can from folks that have had this stuff for a while . . . then you are what
you say you are . . .

Read some of the personal stories that folks have shared with the world
here: http://www.yoshi2me.com/page5.html.

Angela
www.yoshi2me.com

Right now it does feel huge.  I don't doubt that for you.  Over time,
you will see that it isn't....and that is the only thing that will
matter....not any of us saying it will get better.

Talk with your dr, get it typed....and go from there.  This group is
by far the best one *I* have found for good, trustworthy info, with
the exception of that Perl guy.  

Ask away, vent away....everyone here has either gone through that
emotion....or will at some point.  

r.