herpes law

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stephen haldane - 05 Nov 2003 06:08 GMT

After going out with my now X girlfriend for 2 years i found out she has
cold sores. The time we went out and the things we did makes me think that i
more than likely have it, although i havent had an outbreak as yet.

Is it against the law to have sexual contact with someone if you know you
have herpes?

I just want to know if i can make her pay for my treatment should i have the
disease?

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Grant - 05 Nov 2003 10:43 GMT

Hi Stephen,

First of all, there really is no need for treatment so if you did get
herpes, you wouldn't actually need her to pay for it.

Secondly, how would you ever be able to proove it was her that gave it to
you? Unless you had a herpes test prior to having sex with her, there is no
way you could proove that she gave it to you.

Thirdly, this is a tough one. Most of the population gets cold sores and
they generally aren't aware that they can pass it to someone's genitals
through oral sex. Also, many of them don't even know that cold sores are
herpes. So, before you kiss someone, do you tell them that you sometimes
get cold sores?

Fourthly, (is that a word?) did you ask her if she had any sexually
transmitted diseases or cold sores before having sex? Did you divulge your
sexual history before having sex? Etc.

Have you scheduled your herpes blood test yet?

ar

> After going out with my now X girlfriend for 2 years i found out she has
> cold sores. The time we went out and the things we did makes me think that i
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
> I just want to know if i can make her pay for my treatment should i have the
> disease?

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LK - 05 Nov 2003 13:36 GMT

>Hi Stephen,
>
[quoted text clipped - 26 lines]
>> Is it against the law to have sexual contact with someone if you know you
>> have herpes?

With regard to HIV, I believe there is some sort of legal recourse,
however in and of itself sex is not illegal.

If it were simply against the law that would mean _no one_ with a
herpes simplex virus could have sexual contact with another person.
The issue is informed consent.

And in a way, since HSV I or II isn't lethal, one could follow that
reasoning and argue that having unprotected sex is against the law
unless one is specifically aiming for conception. --Contraception is
not foolproof, either.

Sex has emotional and physical side effects. If you're not prepared
to take the risks, then don't play the game.

LK

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Guy - 08 Nov 2003 03:55 GMT

Where do her cold sores appear?

And where are you worried about being infected?

Hang in
-G

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Perl Molson - 20 Nov 2003 15:31 GMT

The worst thing about herpes is that women won't tell they have it.

That's how I've got mine.

I've actually got several times from various womens.

Noone would even consider mentioning anything about it
and I definitely can tell now that they have had hidden it
from my experience.

(using a dryer for genital area, creams, oils, etc)

I'll never trust women from this perspective, that's for sure.
Currently I have a GF and I use all the precautions to
prevent the transmission.
Unfortunately my GF is pretty old fashioned type of woman
and there is no much variety going on.
Oral sex? Nope. Only using flavored condoms before. Not a great choice.

To convince her one day I will eventually get cured
from herpes? You know that one better already...

P.S. Thanks God its only herpes.
(I've been tested for all other diseases)
Perl Molson

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M.L.S. - 20 Nov 2003 17:46 GMT

>The worst thing about herpes is that women won't tell they have it.

It's pretty hard to "tell" if you don't know you've got it, or don't
know what it is. Plenty of men don't tell either but I guess that's
beyond the scope of your intellect to address.

>That's how I've got mine.

How do you know?

>I've actually got several times from various womens.

Exactly how many times have you gotten herpes?

Mike

>Noone would even consider mentioning anything about it
>and I definitely can tell now that they have had hidden it
>from my experience.

>(using a dryer for genital area, creams, oils, etc)

>I'll never trust women from this perspective, that's for sure.
>Currently I have a GF and I use all the precautions to
>prevent the transmission.
>Unfortunately my GF is pretty old fashioned type of woman
>and there is no much variety going on.
>Oral sex? Nope. Only using flavored condoms before. Not a great choice.

>To convince her one day I will eventually get cured
>from herpes? You know that one better already...

>P.S. Thanks God its only herpes.
>(I've been tested for all other diseases)
>Perl Molson

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Angela - 20 Nov 2003 18:47 GMT

> The worst thing about herpes is that women won't tell they have it.

Interesting "Perl" . . . when you say women do you mean women in general,
all women, or just the woman that you were with?
Obviously if somebody knows that they have herpes and they don't say
anything to their partners then that is wrong. But, it takes two to have sex
and if you didn't ask or attempt to talk about stds before having sex then
you are just as responsible. It takes two!

> That's how I've got mine.
>
> I've actually got several times from various womens.

Uh ... you can't get herpes over and over again Perl.
Once you get it . . . you keep it.

> Noone would even consider mentioning anything about it
> and I definitely can tell now that they have had hidden it
> from my experience.

You are guessing at this point. It's also possible that you had it all along
and didn't know it.
In fact, you may have given herpes to them. That's why it's important to
talk about stds and to get tested *before* sex.

> (using a dryer for genital area, creams, oils, etc)

Yea ... I'm sure you will do whatever it is you think you need to do for
yourself.

> I'll never trust women from this perspective, that's for sure.
> Currently I have a GF and I use all the precautions to
> prevent the transmission.

Unfortunately any precaution that you use is not 100% ~ so hopefully you
told your gilfriend that you have herpes.

> To convince her one day I will eventually get cured
> from herpes? You know that one better already...

To date there is no way to wipe the virus out of your body.

Angela
www.yoshi2me.com

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Perl Molson - 20 Nov 2003 23:34 GMT

> > The worst thing about herpes is that women won't tell they have it.
>
> Interesting "Perl" . . . when you say women do you mean women in general,
> all women, or just the woman that you were with?

Well, of course I cannot generalize but after having only negative
experiences on this matter, I don't have a reason to believe
it can be otherwise.

> Obviously if somebody knows that they have herpes and they don't say
> anything to their partners then that is wrong. But, it takes two to have sex
> and if you didn't ask or attempt to talk about stds before having sex then
> you are just as responsible. It takes two!

Of course, but let's not forget there are very selfish people out there
and they would "happilly" share their disease to other
for whatever reasons. (maybe including testing, to
see how would you react to the disease, how soon would you be infected)
Once a woman took me to the gynecologist and
we had "figured out" that I had some yeast infection.

The woman dumped me right after that and
it took me a while until I had finally realised that
I had herpes at that point.
A doctor can be easily fooled into believing this and
she was behaving very unusual at the clinic room, at doctor's visit.

> > That's how I've got mine.
> >
> > I've actually got several times from various womens.
>
> Uh ... you can't get herpes over and over again Perl.
> Once you get it . . . you keep it.

I was just pointing out the number of women that
did refuse to tell me about it, me suspecting them as
aware of it, but not at the time when we were dating, only recently,
from what I recall --pretty easy to figure out now about a woman
that has herpes, it is psychologically easy to determine
quite easy--
Angela, you know that, right, you would behave differently now
after having herpes in a new relationship then prior to knowing you've had
herpes.
I am not trying to say anything regarding your present relationship/marriage
I am just giving a simple example.

> > Noone would even consider mentioning anything about it
> > and I definitely can tell now that they have had hidden it
[quoted text clipped - 16 lines]
> Unfortunately any precaution that you use is not 100% ~ so hopefully you
> told your gilfriend that you have herpes.

Have told her since I've known her.
The fact that she might have been infected with the virus prior
to knowing me ( she still doesn't have any symtoms after over 3 years),
I am not aware.
Like I've said before, women won't admit they have herpes once they
can hide the facts.

Its fine for me since she is not experiencing any symtoms
related with the herpes. (she does though have
other problems like menstrual cramps, though. Big time problems)

> > To convince her one day I will eventually get cured
> > from herpes? You know that one better already...
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> Angela
> www.yoshi2me.com

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