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Rich - 20 Oct 2003 01:54 GMT

Here is my story; I am 34 and have had herpes for 17 years. I have never
given anyone herpes (to the best of my knowledge), until recently. My
current girlfriend of three years has contracted herpes. I was completely
honest in the beginning of our relationship about my condition, but none of
that matters now as she is ready to end the relationship. My question is,
how do I handle this type of situation in the future? This was the only
time I was completely honest about my condition to a partner. It seems to
me it is easer to not be honest, but the end result of that cannot be very
conducive to building a strong relationship. I am worried that when I tell
future potential partners they will RUN away.

TIA
Rich

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Grant - 20 Oct 2003 11:10 GMT

Hi Rich,

First of all, you have a moral (and legal) obligation to be honest and tell
your future partners.

What you are not understanding is that this mess you are going through now
is HER problem, not yours, in that she knew the risks, right? Perhaps what
she needs now is understanding, some hugs, and support from you. She's hurt
and angry and perhaps what you think is she pushing you away is really a cry
for help.

Take care,
ar

> Here is my story; I am 34 and have had herpes for 17 years. I have never
> given anyone herpes (to the best of my knowledge), until recently. My
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
> TIA
> Rich

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Rich - 22 Oct 2003 02:35 GMT

> Hi Rich,
>
[quoted text clipped - 25 lines]
>> TIA
>> Rich

Thank you all for your response. I am sorry if I sounded a little aloof
about the whole situation. There is a lot more to the story; furthermore,
I think the disease is a nice excuse to end the relationship on her part.
Thanks again.

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LK - 20 Oct 2003 16:08 GMT

>Here is my story; I am 34 and have had herpes for 17 years. I have never
>given anyone herpes (to the best of my knowledge), until recently. My
>current girlfriend of three years has contracted herpes. I was completely
>honest in the beginning of our relationship about my condition, but none of
>that matters now as she is ready to end the relationship.

She's looking for someone to blame for the problem.

And it's part of you're a wonderful person as long as you don't make
me sick. Which kinda like putting your children up for adoption when
they bring home colds. You buys your ticket, you takes your chances.

Don't drive or ride with anyone because they/you might get into an
accident.

Give her time to blow-off steam.

>My question is,
>how do I handle this type of situation in the future? This was the only
>time I was completely honest about my condition to a partner. It seems to
>me it is easer to not be honest, but the end result of that cannot be very
>conducive to building a strong relationship. I am worried that when I tell
>future potential partners they will RUN away.

Gee, you're already looking for future partners?

Sounds like you're eager to run, too.

You are also blaming the disease for your anger.

The disease doesn't care.

You're not HIV-positive which _is_ life threatening, so a little
perspective on both your parts wouldn't hurt right now.

And a sense of humor wouldn't hurt.

Now you have another excuse besides, "Not tonight. I have a
headache."

LK

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Angela - 20 Oct 2003 17:36 GMT

Rich,

Perhaps reading the stories on this page will help give you some perspective
on all of this . . .
Here's the link: http://members.cox.net/yoshi2me/Stories/Stories.htm

Hang in there,

Angela

> Here is my story; I am 34 and have had herpes for 17 years. I have never
> given anyone herpes (to the best of my knowledge), until recently. My
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
> TIA
> Rich

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