On May 23, 6:35 pm, zedheadch...@hotmail.com wrote:

Also - my breakout has been incredibly painful, any advice on how to
ease this?

Hi there zedheadchick,

Sorry for your diagnosis...but geez, I think you're me 21 years ago.

All the emotions you are feeling right now are normal.  So, understand that
adjusting and getting used to it are normal, too.

First, things first, you need to find out from your doctor if you have type
2 or type 1.  Many doctors assume that if it is genital, then it is type 2,
but that's wrong.  So, call your doc today and get the right information.
Type 1 and 2 ARE different as far as frequency and duration of outbreaks and
transference methods.

Time will help you to deal with this.  So, forget about boyfriends right
now.  It will be very difficult for you to tell a man you have herpes and
have him accept you until you have learned to accept yourself.

So, focus on yourself.  You said your outbreak was very painful.  Take
ibuprofin (Advil), it will do wonders for you.  Also, ask your doctor about
Valtrex.  It's an antiviral you can take either when you first notice signs
of an outbreak, or take it every day to help defend yourself against
outbreaks.  You'll still get them, but they may be less intense and won't
last as long.

There are herpes dating sites online so you can get used to meeting people
who already have herpes.  But, you'll be surprised to find out how many
people already have it out there in the real world.

The longer you have herpes, the "safer" you become.  The first year or so
can be tricky because your body is still building up the antibodies used to
keep future outbreaks from happening.  You need to be aware of asymptomatic
shedding.  The first year or two, you will asymptomatically shed the virus
more than later on.  During these first few years, you're going to want to
use condoms and be extra cautious.  However, in future years, you will find
that you can have sex without a condom.  But your partner will need to make
that decision.

I don't believe people will judge you nearly as much as you will judge
yourself.  Having herpes did not keep me from a 17 year marriage with a man
who doesn't have herpes--and never got them from me--but, I have type 1.
And since being divorced, I've dated three men and all of them already had
herpes (type 1 or 2) and I didn't meet any of them on a herpes dating site.

However, it takes time to come to grips with what you've got.  Don't let it
beat you.  You are still you.

Please post any questions you might have and we'll do our best to answer
them.

ar