Hi all,

So, I meet this lady and we go out for a few meals, a party or two and
maybe a movie and do all the normal stuff people do on dates.

After a week or so things progress and spurred on by a few bottles of wine
we find ourselves in bed together. As things start heating up she utters
the dreaded words, "Hold on, there's something I've got to tell you". Yep,
she has herpes.

Well, things were already well under way at this point and the wine didn't
help so I shrugged it off and, well you get the point I'm sure.

Today arrives of course, and I'm sobered up in more ways than one. Now,
all the doubts start coming to the fore, and I find myself obsessing over
how to get through this thing. Logic says that it is highly unlikely that
I contracted the virus last night. A condom was used, she has no sores and
she is on daily medication, so it seems likely that nothing has changed on
that front as yet.

The problem is that I find myself looking into the future and wondering
about how I can deal with this on an ongoing basis. I'm very concerned
that every time we have sex I'll be concentrating more on the potential
danger involved and the long term consequences of that and missing the
whole point of the exercise. Such concerns can hardly be conducive to
having a healthy long term relationship I'm sure.

I like this lady, but the fact is that we are still in the early stages of
our relationship. I don't know that we will still be together in six weeks
or six months and I don't know how much of an impact the whole herpes
thing will have on its subsequent ending (or if indeed it does end).

I've done a lot of reading on the net today and learnt a bunch of stuff
about HS1 and HS2. I didn't ask which one she had last night because I
didn't know I needed to. I also know now that it is possible that I
already have herpes and don't even know it, although I do consider it
unlikely.

Anyway, I'm gonna call her tomorrow and see if we can get together and do
something. I think we will also need to discuss this situation in more
depth. I believe in being up-front about these things which is why I
really appreciate that she even told me at all, although perhaps she could
have done it a bit earlier (like before we got all hot and sweaty) but I
do appreciate that just telling me was quite difficult for her so,
whatever.

I haven't decided as yet that I want to back away from the whole thing
just because she has a virus, but the whole thing is new to me and I'm
needing time to adjust to the idea. It's quite a daunting prospect to be
confronted with.

So, if anyone has any advice, insights, or whatever, I'm open to
suggestions!