loss,

 I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis, welcome to A.S.H. Many times
a visual exam is enough to be strongly indicative, but I would hang
tight until the results come back from the culture. Keep taking the
Valtrex, it should offer some relief.

 Many people in monogamous relationships find themselves in the
position that you are, and that's due to 2 reasons: 1) Lots of people
with HSV-2 are asymptomatic, 2) Most people don't realize that a person
can get infected genitally with HSV-1, the very common virus that
causes coldsores, one of which I happen to have on my lip right now.

 I would have your current partner definitely get a type-specific
antibody test. It is extremely important to note, however, that he may
come back positive for HSV-1 and may not ever remember even having a
coldsore. Also, if he comes back + for HSV-2, it's not going to tell
you who gave it to who.

 You could have been exposed by your current bf through either oral
sex when a coldsore was present, he has asymptomatic HSV-2, or as it
sounds more likely you may have been exposed by your ex-husband.

  At this point, try not to focus on blame, just try to get all of the
facts. Find out which virus you have and confirm that it is indeed
genital herpes. Take Tylenol or Aspirin for the pain, and I recommend
Dermaplast for any active lesions. We're all here for you, and you'll
be ok :-)

Hang in there,

~Eric

Hi Loss,

Welcome to the group.

Eric has given you some great advice and compassion.  We really understand
what you are going through right now.  And I basically have nothing to add
except for a few tiny things:

The first is that even if your culture comes back negative, you should
insist on a herpes specific blood test.  The reason is that cultures can
often result in false negatives if the sore is not brand new.  However, a
culture result of positive is a sure thing.

And it is very important that your current partner get a blood test as well.
You will both want to know where you stand.  He may have type 1 oral herpes
and not even be aware of it.  Or, he could have type 2 genital and not be
aware of it.  Or, he could have neither (or both) and then you'll know you
need to take some precautions so you don't give it to him.

And if your culture comes back positive,  make sure you find out what type
it is (the lab will keep the culture for awhile so if they didn't type it
the first time around, make your doctor call and have it typed)

After you get all the information you need, we can help you formulate the
next step.

Now, with the wonder of how herpes works, you will probably never know who
gave it to you.  So don't worry about it.  And because your ex ran around on
you, that doesn't mean he has herpes.  Many of us got our herpes from our
first relationship, so it is certainly no indicator of std status.

Take care,
ar

I'm sorry that you are having to go through all of this. I know it must be
frustrating for you.

You know... I don't know if you realize this but 90% of those that have
genital herpes do not know that they have it. So it is possible that either
of you could have had the virus and not known it until now OR perhaps you
had not contracted it until now. Does that make sense? Is he planning on
having an accurate herpes blood test done to find out what his status is?
Also, try not to jump the gun before you get your test results back next
week, ya know?

It's possible that you could have had it without knowing it, contracted it
from any one of your previous partners, OR contracted it from your current
partner. Also, did you know that you can contract herpes if your partner
performs oral sex on you and has oral herpes? Anybody that has cold sores or
fever blisters OR has had them in the past has oral herpes... so that's
always a possibility too.

Hang in there and try to have a nice weekend, k?

Angela :)