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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Herpes / July 2006This group is a bit touchy Chill out!
I've only been coming here for 5 days and already I feel tension between members. Why cant anyone believe Eric hasnt had sex yet? He has HSV-1 he got it from kissing, it has always been called a cold sore and never was accepted as Herpes until recently. why cant you accept that? I know he doesnt always answer with a quick yes but thats eric. I am involved in other talkabouts support groups and none have the attitudes of most in this group. Be kind ok? Not everyone here can afford to have a herpes test taken. I do not have health insurance, I am self employed and work for very little, but enjoy the heck in what I do!! therefore just to see a doctor can be quite costly, I'd like to try Valtrex but realisticly I cant afford it! Maybe if I was in a seriouis relationship I would. So after my 25 years of having HSV-2 terms have been named, sue me for not knowing its called asytomatic or shedding, I have always known what my body has told me, but I have never been on pain killers or other drugs that numb the body so maybe just maybe some people dont know becuse they feel no pain. I deal with who I am with no drugs! I asked what I thought was a simple question and I get everything but the answer. For some reason it all depends if both people concerned have had tests.Well my friends, not so...just assume what I have told you and go by that.Ohter wise I'm outta here. I'm sure i can find another place to go to get useful help and answers. I was told by a doctor 27 years ago in a hospital after surgery that I had genital herpes, and he said my ob happened now because I had mega doses of antibiotics. Also because I had unprotected sex with a man 3 weeks before who didnt know he had it, but he came to my hospital room and said he was sorry. I can only hope some of you in here will chill out and be nice. ALH I haven't read each and every one of Eric's posts but............. >Why cant anyone believe Eric hasnt had sex yet? I think everyone believes him about that. There's no reason not to. >He has HSV-1 he got it from kissing, it has always been called a cold sore >and never was accepted as Herpes until recently. why cant you accept that? That's not what he's saying. If I understand correctly, yes he's tested positive for type 1 but how and at what location is undetermined. >I know he doesnt always answer with a quick yes but thats eric. ..... uh ..... long answers aren't unusual here. >I am involved in other talkabouts support groups and none have the >attitudes of most in this group. This place is UNmoderated. Each poster moderates him/her self. So here, what you see is what you get. It ain't for everybody. >Be kind ok? ok..... many of us do our best. >Valtrex but realisticly I cant afford it! Maybe if >I was in a seriouis relationship I would. As a very good alternative, you could use generic Acyclovir. It's dirt cheap compared to Valtrex and works as well by essentially the same mechanism. Just a suggestion. > I deal with who I am with no drugs! Most people do without drugs. Other's aren't able to do that for one reason or another. It's for them that the drugs are available. >I asked what I thought was a simple question and I get everything but the >answer. Not sure which question you're refering to. Unfortunately, there are many simple questions regarding Herpes for which there are not simple answers. That's why all the "ifs", "ands", & "buts". I wish that were not the case. >For some reason it all depends if both people concerned have had >tests. No, that's not the point. It all depends on the actual H status of both people. And the only way to determine that is with a test. Anything else is just a wild guess which makes giving advice pointless and inaccurate. >...just assume what I have told you and go by >that. We do that all the time..... with a lot of "ifs" "ands" & "buts". >I'm outta here. I'm sure i can find another place to go to >get useful help and answers. Good luck on that. Granted, there are several legitimate places to go. But Herpes doesn't lend itself well to quick simple answers. That's why there's so much confusion and misinformation floating around. >I can only hope some of you in here will chill out and be nice. It's okay..................... really. M2 I honestly don't know that I've said anything hurtful or terrible here. All I did is rant and complain about how much women expect out of men. Heck, you can go into any male barbershop and hear the exact same things about women, LOL, and when you go to an all-female place women complain about men too. That said, I apologize to anybody who might have been offended, especially Al and Grant. I'm sorry guys, all I'm trying to do hear is make the point of how it's going to be impossible for me to get a girlfriend from here on out, I'm not trying to insult anybody or be sexist. >From your posts and what you guys have said about yourselves, you both sound like great people. I just think you're much further along the road to healing and acceptance of this than I am. This is a major obstacle in my life now and I don't know how to get around it. ~Eric > That said, I apologize to anybody who might have been offended, > especially Al and Grant. I'm sorry guys, all I'm trying to do hear is > make the point of how it's going to be impossible for me to get a > girlfriend from here on out, I'm not trying to insult anybody or be > sexist. Hi Eric, I didnt have any problems with your posts. I was just talking about how I tell people I contracted herpes, and how most people are able to accept it. Its all in how you present it. If you look dirty and rude and talk about it, most people will be turned off, but if you dress nice, look attractive and pleasant, I think it makes people be more understanding. Why don't you try using an online dating service, but don't put that you have herpes in the ad if its a non herpes site. Just tell people after a few dates or chats if you've been talking a while. I've used www.mpwh.com and www.afterh.com and both I was able to get some dates. One site I actually dated someone and was in a relationship with the person I met. I recommend www.mpwh though, its a good site. Al > Hi Eric, > [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Al Thanks Al, I think I'm going to seriously look into those sites! Who knows, maybe I'll find someone with type-1. ~Eric I'll just throw my opinion on in since it seems like the thing to do: > I've only been coming here for 5 days and already I feel tension between > members. It happens sometimes. > Why cant anyone believe Eric hasnt had sex yet? We believe him. No one here is saying that isn't true. The question we can't seem to find an answer for is how he could have a GENITAL herpes rash (at least that is what we are assuming it is) when no one has been touching his genitals. He prefers not to respond to the oral sex question, so if he hasn't had oral sex, yet has a genital rash, and herpes is passed through skin to skin contact...well, it's an interesting question on how it got there. > He has HSV-1 he got it from kissing, it has always been called a cold sore > and never was accepted as Herpes until recently. why cant you accept that? We're not the ones with the acceptance problem. Eric is. He's been working on it and I thought making wonderful progress but then he seemed to backslide and that makes me very sad. > I am involved in other talkabouts support groups and none have the > attitudes of most in this group. Not sure what attitudes you're talking about. > Be kind ok? We're very kind. >Not everyone here can afford to have a herpes test taken. I do > not have health insurance, I am self employed and work for very little, > but > enjoy the heck in what I do!! Me too. > So after my 25 years of having HSV-2 terms have been named, sue me for not > knowing its called asytomatic or shedding, I have always known what my [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > the body so maybe just maybe some people dont know becuse they feel no > pain. I deal with who I am with no drugs! I must have missed the post this is referring to. > I asked what I thought was a simple question and I get everything but the > answer. As M2 explained, there really are no simple answers. Herpes comes with a lot of and, if, buts and ors. You wanted a specific yes or no. Well, there is no yes or no answer when the facts aren't all there. >For some reason it all depends if both people concerned have had > tests. That's the only way to know if someone really has herpes or not. People without symptoms can have herpes. Without the blood tests, you have no way of knowing that. >Well my friends, not so...just assume what I have told you and go by > that.Ohter wise I'm outta here. I'm sure i can find another place to go > to > get useful help and answers. Feel free to seek those answers elsewhere. Lots of misinformation out there. This is the most informed group I've ever been associated with. Again, you want specifics without any specific information. Ain't gonna happen. > I was told by a doctor 27 years ago in a hospital after surgery that I had > genital herpes, and he said my ob happened now because I had mega doses of > antibiotics. Also because I had unprotected sex with a man 3 weeks before > who didnt know he had it, but he came to my hospital room and said he was > sorry. I also had a visual diagnosis made. Guess what, I don't have type 2 herpes but type 1 instead. I didn't find that out till many years later. That made a HUGE difference in the risks involving my husband. And there was no way for me to find out I had the different type till I had the blood test. It was well worth the money because now I know what I have and I can educate potential partners a whole lot better. > I can only hope some of you in here will chill out and be nice. Hopefully, you are good at taking your own advice. ar AR, Point well taken. Ok I admit at this junture i am clueless. Will come back when I feel up to the status of this group! ALH > > I've only been coming here for 5 days and already I feel tension between > > members. > > It happens sometimes. It happens but we're all here to help each other out. People don't usually just take things at face value, there has to be some examination, especially of a topic like hsv, and this usually fosters debate. I think debate is healthy, we just can't let anything get personal, that's all. > > Why cant anyone believe Eric hasnt had sex yet? > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > skin to skin contact...well, it's an interesting question on how it got > there. I don't see how focusing on the exact physical contact is helpful here. Perhaps the rash was type-1, perhaps not. Either way focusing on very specific and private actions won't help at all--it's water under the bridge, so to speak. > > He has HSV-1 he got it from kissing, it has always been called a cold sore > > and never was accepted as Herpes until recently. why cant you accept that? > > We're not the ones with the acceptance problem. Eric is. He's been working > on it and I thought making wonderful progress but then he seemed to > backslide and that makes me very sad. I think I am making progress. But I'll say the same thing Bush says about Iraq: "it's hard. This is hard work. What we're doing here is the right thing to do, but it's hard work". But I'm developing a "strategery" so I think it'll all work out fine in the end. LOL, good old dubya. > > I am involved in other talkabouts support groups and none have the > > attitudes of most in this group. > > Not sure what attitudes you're talking about. We all debate issues here but that is a very very good thing. Some other groups you get kicked out of if you don't agree with the moderator on everything. > > Be kind ok? > > We're very kind. We are--we just disagree on some stuff. But we all mean well and we are all helping each other out. > >Not everyone here can afford to have a herpes test taken. I do > > not have health insurance, I am self employed and work for very little, > > but > > enjoy the heck in what I do!! > > Me too. Me 3! > > I can only hope some of you in here will chill out and be nice. > > Hopefully, you are good at taking your own advice. I can't chill out right now. We need all of the heat we can get in PA to dry us out..our area was the one on Fox, MSNBC, and CNN for flooding problems. :-( ~Eric > I can't chill out right now. We need all of the heat we can get in PA > to dry us out..our area was the one on Fox, MSNBC, and CNN for flooding > problems. :-( I'm in RI and we had alot of rain also and we are almost at flood stage in many areas. I'm still out on leave from work, vacations coming up, but its not going to be a good one. My bronchitis is still a problem, taking the prednisone seems like my sore throat is coming back now, so is my congestion and I had an outbreak all this week on top of everything. :o( What is happening to my immune system????! I know I don't have HIV thank god, tested NEG for that anyway... > What is happening to my immune system????! I know I don't have HIV > thank god, tested NEG for that anyway... Two issues to always keep in mind when feeling ill and and starting to wonder whether your immune system is shot.... 1) Its not just you in the disease - if there is an infection then you are also dealing with another biological entity whose entire lifestyle has evoled around avoiding that immune system and some versions of 'Bug X' do it better than others. 2) A lot of symptomology for any number of diseases IS the immune system so for instance feeling truely awful with a cold may not be a virulent strain of rhinovirus but may be that your immune system has really kicked off at the invading pathogen. A lot of the HSV lesion isnt the virus' activity but the inflammatory response to it. Tim -- When playing rugby, its not the winning that counts, but the taking apart ICQ: 5178568 > 2) A lot of symptomology for any number of diseases IS the immune system > so for instance feeling truely awful with a cold may not be a virulent [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > When playing rugby, its not the winning that counts, but the taking apart > ICQ: 5178568 Okay, well that makes sense about the immune system kicking in and causing the symptoms and not the viruses. So does that mean that when I have an outbreak and only get 1-2 lesions versus now when I got 10, it means that my immune is kicking in more? I guess that could be possible since I am already under attack from this bronchitis and pneumonia virus. Al > Okay, well that makes sense about the immune system kicking in and > causing the symptoms and not the viruses. So does that mean that when I > have an outbreak and only get 1-2 lesions versus now when I got 10, it > means that my immune is kicking in more? I was more talking about the duration and severity of lesions having more than one possible cause....in a normal lesion the virus is only present for about 4 days and the lesions last after that as the inflammatory process takes its effect. This one explanation given for why the Valtrex 1 or 2 day dosing regime works as well as taking drug for the duration ofd the lesion. What I was trying to get over is that just becuase a bad attack hits you dont just panic and assume there is some hideous problem with the immune system, there is much more to a disease process success, spread and severity than the human hosts response, and many people inmy experience can get a bit humanocentric and look just at the human body rather than everything else that can be involved. Also another common view about the immune system is that strong response=good and weaker response=worse - this isnt true as the iimmune response is a balance between strong enough to destroy the infective agent and weak enough to not cause problems to the host....too much either way causes problems - at the extremes on one side you have immune deificiencies, on the other autoimmunity. Tim -- When playing rugby, its not the winning that counts, but the taking apart ICQ: 5178568 > I was more talking about the duration and severity of lesions having > more than one possible cause....in a normal lesion the virus is only [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > Tim > -- Okay thanks. Maybe you can also shed some light on why some people have high IgG positive readings for the HerpeSelect test for hsv 1+2 as opposed to other people. For instance some people get a positive reading of lets say 1.2 and others get another positive reading of 3.1 and both have had it a long time. Is there a reason why one person has a higher output? Does it have to do with the strength of their immune system or something to do with how long they have had it? Thanks, Al > Okay thanks. Maybe you can also shed some light on why some people have > high IgG positive readings for the HerpeSelect test for hsv 1+2 as > opposed to other people. For instance some people get a positive > reading of lets say 1.2 and others get another positive reading of 3.1 > and both have had it a long time. Is there a reason why one person has > a higher output? Actually Al ~ our numbers will and do fluctuate. In other words ~ they don't always stay the same. > Does it have to do with the strength of their immune > system or something to do with how long they have had it? No ~ it has nothing to do with that at all. I could have herpes testing done and come up with a high number and then have the same test done next week and come up with a lower number and I would still have had herpes for 11 years. Angela  Signature"By opening up to a partner and talking about an STD diagnosis you are showing that you respect and care about yourself as well as the other person." Herpes Help http://www.yoshi2me.com/index.html STD Message Board http://yoshi2me.com/phpbb/index.php Picking Up the Pieces http://yoshi2me.com/pup/index.html |
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