Hi,

I wonder if any of you could perhaps enlighten me about this condition.

I first contracted herpes through a single encounter with a woman abroad
about 12 years ago. At the time I had a small cluster of spots on the head
of my penis. I had some pain whilst urinating and it all cleared up with
about 10 days after taking some tablets (sorry, I cannot remember what they
were) and some ointment prescribed by a local doctor. He tested the woman
rather than me and informed me that she had herpes.

A few months later after returning to the UK I had another, lesser outbreak.
I went to the STD clinic and it was formally diagnosed as herpes (I wasn't
told which form). I was told then by the doctor that in many cases if it
doesn't re-occur within 3 years there is a good chance that it wouldn't come
back- I now know this to be untrue.

Gradually, the outbreaks became less frequent (maybe once a year) and were
never really much of a problem, nor was I in as much pain as many others
seem to be. There was the occasional tiny cluster on my penis. I didn't even
feel the need to go back to see a doctor about it.

I then went from July 95 until February 2000 without a single outbreak.
During this time I assumed that it had simply gone away as the doctor had
told me it may do. Also during this time I had a couple of long term
relationships with women where we did not use condoms. Both of these women
are still friends of mine and have never given me any indication that I may
have passed it on. If I had known there was a possibility i would have told
them and would have taken precautions.

Towards the end of 1999 I started a relationship with another woman. Shortly
into our relationship she sat me down and told me that she had been to the
doctor that day and the doctor had told her she had an outbreak of herpes.
Before she could go any further I said something along the lines of "Oh my
god, it must have been from me. I thought it had gone...".

Shortly afterwards (Feb 2000) I developed a fairly large cluster around the
top of my pubic hair area- somewhere I had never before had an outbreak.
Since then I have had quite regular outbreaks and they always seem to be in
the pubic area rather than on my penis. They seem to be completely different
from what I experienced before. They don't seem to heal quite as quickly,
and there is often a redness in the area for up to 2 or 3 months afterwards.

We managed to get through it and continued to have a relationship for a few
years. I am quite prepared to admit that I was very careless in not
researching this condition more comprehensively, but I really did think that
it had just gone. But, she always would throw this back in my face in times
of arguments. This really got me wondering whether there is the possibility
that I she may have already had it and used the fact that I jumped up and
admitted it to disguise the fact that she was just about to tell me she had
it? Especially considering the difference in symptoms.

I am now in the early stages of a new relationship. We have not had sex yet
but I fully intend to tell her before we get that far. I am really very
concerned that I may pass it on to my new girlfriend. I really need to know
what I can do to avoid passing it on. I am intending to try to get Valtrex
prescribed from the STD clinic, or even try going private.

Can anyone advise me on this?