Hi KJ,

How are you aware of his history if he hasn't told you directly?

There are many variables to herpes and no two people are exactly the same.
It depends on the type of herpes (1 or 2) the location, the length of time
someone has been infected, the health of their immune system, etc.

I have type 1 genital herpes.  I never have outbreaks anymore. Though under
extreme times of stress, I'll get a feeling there is something going on.
Type 1 herpes genitally located is very difficult to pass to someone else's
genitals.  So, I have never passed it on to anyone, that I'm aware of.  When
I was married, I did not always use condoms.

ar

Which type??

That's a very common scenario.

Most people never even have the first outbreak. Not to mention
recurrences. And many have recurrences that are so mild they don't
notice or don't know what they are.

Some couples always do and some never do.  It all depends on how you
assess your risk factors and how much risk you're willing to take.
Type matters. Type 1 genital usually doesn't recur either
symptomatically or asymptomatically as often as type2 genital.  And
although you can't tell if or when an asymptomatic shedding event is
taking place, frequency of outbreaks can be an indicator. Fewer
outbreaks usually means fewer asymptomatic shedding events.  And then
there's always suppressive therapy. That'd be daily doses of antiviral
to cut down shedding events too.
Everyone is different though, and handles it their own way.

M2

If he didn't tell you himself that he has herpes then how did you find out?
I don't believe anything I hear unless it comes straight from the horses
mouth.

Why don't you sit down and talk to him about all of this? It wouldn't be
totally uncalled for to make a date to go get tested together so you'll both
know what you are dealing with. Make sense?

My husband and I don't use condoms unless we are trying to keep from getting
pregnant.

Hope this helps,

Angela :)