question about safety

Thread view:

Enable EMail Alerts

Start New Thread

Thread rating:

runnin' like an antelope - 23 Feb 2006 17:34 GMT

greetings everyone:
obviously, i am a new poster to this group; i have come here to seek
out your opinions, and lurked here for a few weeks to try and find
answers to a question with which I am struggling...

I have met a wonderful woman. she and i have absolutely hit it off,
and we are both about the same age, 28, and things could not be more
wonderful. I do mean that. I am falling hard for this woman, and the
two of us seem to be on the same emotional place. a few weeks ago, she
made me aware that she contracted the Herpes virus from a boyfriend
from back when she was 21 or so. she and i have had no sexual contact
(with the exception of me masturbating her once), and I feel like there
is a love there with her that needn't stand in the way of HSV. I
cannot make myself feel like a good person if I were to let that stand
in my way. she is wonderful.

I have done some research, citing many sources, both conflicting and
agreeing, and I am writing here to ask your opinions on what I should
do to protect myself. I do not want to contract the HSV; i am,
however, quite in love with this woman, and i do not want to let it
stand in my way. Could I have some of your opinions? I feel like it
is very damn unfair that someone as introverted and wonderful as her
has had to live with this "thing" for the last six years. I'm sure
that's nothing comparatively to some of the stories here, but I have no
prior experience with this, and it is new, terrifying, and i have a
strong desire to overcome my fears and remove the mystery from the
situation.

thanks very much, and I hope to get your replies.
antelope

Reply to this Message

Angela S. - 25 Feb 2006 16:17 GMT

I'm glad to see that you are not allowing the fact that she has herpes
change how you feel about her.

One thing you might want to consider is whether or not you might have
herpes. Since herpes isn't included in the routine std testing process it
might be a good idea to find out what your status is. The two of you could
actually make a date to go and get tested together for everything so you
will know exactly what you are dealing with.

I am married to a man that does not have genital herpes. When we were first
intimate I was on suppressive therapy and we used condoms. Eventually we
married, I stopped suppressive therapy, and we threw the condoms out the
window. To this day (and we have been together since 1998) he has not
contracted genital herpes from me. (that we know of)

Here's our story:
http://www.yoshi2me.com/herpes-telling.html

Let me know if this helps at all,

Angela :)

Signature

Yahoo! Messenger - angelals1970
STD Message Board:
http://yoshi2me.com/phpbb/index.php

Reply to this Message

Slam - 03 Mar 2006 01:41 GMT

>I have done some research, citing many sources, both conflicting and
>agreeing, and I am writing here to ask your opinions on what I should
>do to protect myself.

Almost three years ago I began a relationship with a woman who has
herpes. Before we became very intimate she explained to me her status
and we decided to take certain precautions. This was also my first
sexual relationship, so I wasn't very experienced in dealing with
STDs, let alone sex.

We abstained from intercourse at the very beginning. When she touched
herself or I touched her, we were careful not to let our hands touch
me immediately afterwards. We kept wet-wipes near the bed. I used a
dental dam for oral sex.

Eventually, we started to have intercourse. Along with wearing a
condom, I would wear boxer shorts during sex. We thought this would
provide a small barrier. Immediately after intercourse I would wash
up. She also always washed prior to intercourse.

She felt self-concious at times because of all these precautions. I
think a lot of our precautions were probably over-kill but it made me
feel more comfortable. Over time, we gradually decreased our concern
over me becoming infected. I anticipated that we would have a long
future together. Herpes wasn't as much of a concern for either of us.

Our relationship came to an end a few months ago. I have since been
tested and have not been infected. I had felt a lot of anxiety before
I was tested. I'm glad we did take those precautions but I am
uncertain how much of a benefit they provided.

Reply to this Message