Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Herpes / January 2006
My story so far...(long)
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CharlesMorse@yahoo.com - 09 Jan 2006 20:04 GMT So, for anyone who's interested...
On January 1st, 2006 (what a way to start the new year!) I had sex with a friend (used a condom). Five days later I noticed what looked like a large white-head zit in my pubic region. I wasn't particularly concerned, as I have a foggy recollection of having a zit in my pubic area (and practically everywhere else) sometime in the distant past. I tried to pop it, it wouldn't pop. Whatever.
A day later, I felt really sore down there, like something was chafing. Guess what? Another large whitehead pimple had popped up somewhere else in my pubic hair. And this one was pretty painful when touched. This was when I started to get concerned. Did some research and saw that folliculitis is often mistaken for herpes. Since this pimple had a hair in the middle of it, I was a little relieved. (I couldn't remember if there was a hair in the middle of the first one, which had since popped and drained on its own). I also called my friend and had an awkward conversation with her. She said she never had any outbreaks but didn't know 100% sure whether or not she was a carrier.
I popped this second one, but it soon refilled with white pus. Worse, a little distance away from this second one, a third swollen, painful red bump was arising. This also eventually came to a white head (although it may have been filled with clear liquid earlier -- it was difficult to tell, but I understand it is a bad sign).
For peace of mind, I spent hours on the internet, reading everything I could find and looking at pictures. I would see a post on a message board saying folliculitis or that herpes was usually a cluster of small, clear blister -- my heart would feel lightened. Of course, then I'd read something saying that herpes comes in many manifestations, so there was no definitive way to tell without a lab test, and then my heart would sink.
So, Monday, January 9th, a little over a week since I had the encounter and about four days after I noticed the first pimple, I made my way over to the county health clinic. I was told they didn't do herpes testing (even though their website said otherwise) but that the doctor was pretty good at making an eyeball diagnosis.
After giving a blood sample (I thought I might as well get tested for HIV while I'm here -- wouldn't it be a bitch if it turned out positive?) I went to see the doctor. He took a look, felt around down there, and looked inside my urethra. Then he popped the last pimple (painful as hell) and swabbed a sample (apparently they do test for herpes). He told me that it didn't look like herpes, but it sounded like herpes.
So much for peace of mind.
Now the waiting starts. Two weeks from today, I'll go back and they'll tell me. I'd put my chances at 50-50. On the one hand, the doctor said it didn't look like herpes and that everything else seemed normal (no enlarged lymph nodes). I also used a condom during sex with my friend and she claims not to have had an outbreak (I know, I know, most people don't know they have it). I also didn't suffer any flu-like symptoms or painful urination. On the other hand, I don't remember ever experiencing something like this and the proximity of it to my latest sexual encounter is at the very least eyebrow-raising.
This whole thing has definitely changed me. It's weighed on my mind -- will I ever be able to have sex again? I mean, how does someone react to you telling them that you have herpes? There is such a stigma attached to it (even though apparently 20% of the adult population has it) that, unless the relationship is already strong and committed or she is also infected, I can't see anyone reacting positively. Indeed, before this experience, if I heard that from a prespective partner, I probably would have to suppress a instinctive recoil, smile, say something fake, and decline. That cliche about walking in someone elses shoes is a cliche because it's true.
Whatever the results, I definitely have a new perspective on at least this aspect of life.
M.L.S. - 09 Jan 2006 22:07 GMT <snip>
>So much for peace of mind.
>Now the waiting starts. Two weeks from today, I'll go back and they'll >tell me. I'd put my chances at 50-50. On the one hand, the doctor [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >ever experiencing something like this and the proximity of it to my >latest sexual encounter is at the very least eyebrow-raising. Not to get your hopes up, but it doesn't *sound* like HSV to me. The pimples associated with HSV are tiny, usually found in small clusters, and are very fragile, releasing a clear liquid.
You still could have picked up the disease during your latest encounter, or sometime earlier, and not have the classic (or any) overt symptoms.
I take it that your blood was sent out for one of the herpes assays, but your doctor should have made you aware that if you were infected as recently as nine days ago that a blood test is almost useless. It takes times for the body to generate the antibodies for which almost all the bloodtests look. It is generally recommended to wait twelve to sixteen weeks before having a blood test. For diagnosis shortly after exposure one must rely on a swab and a culture.
All that said, if your test comes back positive for HSV, you can pretty much conclude that you had it before your latest sexual encounter, for whatever comfort there is in that.
>This whole thing has definitely changed me. It's weighed on my mind -- >will I ever be able to have sex again? Of course you will.
> I mean, how does someone react >to you telling them that you have herpes? Generally, more positively than you might expect. Some people *will* decline to have sex with you, while others will want to tell you they have it, too.
> There is such a stigma >attached to it (even though apparently 20% of the adult population has [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >something fake, and decline. That cliche about walking in someone >elses shoes is a cliche because it's true. Yep. It's eye opening, being on the other side of the looking glass.
>Whatever the results, I definitely have a new perspective on at least >this aspect of life. Wait for the test result. If it comes back negative, you might want to think about a follow up in another twelve weeks.
We'll hope for the best. Take care,
Mike
CharlesMorse@yahoo.com - 09 Jan 2006 23:39 GMT > <snip> Thanks for your kind words. It was your posts about the small, clear fluid-filled clusters that would give me hope but it was always dashed by something else saying that HPV can have many manifestations.
Also, point taken with the blood test. He actually swabbed me, and that's what they'll be testing, so I think I'll find out for sure in two weeks.
Another part I left out was that the doctor said whatever they (the pimples) were, they were highly infected and prescribed antibiotics. I kinda wondered, if they were so highly infected, why did he just pop that damn pimple (resulting in a mess of pus and blood), swab it, then tell me to pull up my boxers? Wouldn't that infection spread with popping it? I guess the antibiotics will help, but I made sure to clean myself as best as I could in the bathroom.
Grant - 10 Jan 2006 00:36 GMT Hi,
Please let us know what the test results say.
It really doesn't sound like herpes. And, as long as the doctor took the swab from a fresh pimple, you'll get a result you can rely on. But remember, a negative only tells you this isn't herpes. It doesn't mean you don't have herpes. A blood test will tell you if you have it at all, symptoms or no symptoms.
You mentioned HPV below. I'm sure that was a typo. HPV is genital warts while HSV is herpes.
Take care, ar
>> <snip> > [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] >popping it? I guess the antibiotics will help, but I made sure to >clean myself as best as I could in the bathroom. CharlesMorse@yahoo.com - 10 Jan 2006 02:32 GMT > Hi, > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > You mentioned HPV below. I'm sure that was a typo. HPV is genital warts while > HSV is herpes. Thanks for your comments. You're right, I meant HSV. I will probably get a blood test to make sure that I don't have HSV after the swab results come in. Hopefully I'll have to! I'll keep you guys posted.
M.L.S. - 10 Jan 2006 02:55 GMT >> <snip>
>Thanks for your kind words. It was your posts about the small, clear >fluid-filled clusters that would give me hope but it was always dashed >by something else saying that HPV can have many manifestations. If you mean HSV, yes, but if you mean HPV, yes, too. In either case though, the stigma is generally far worse than the intermittant bite of the disease. It takes a little time to mull through the shock, but there are so many people with the same thing, almost all of whom have suffered the same psychological hit, you'll find that there's lots of company in some not very severe misery.
AND, if it turns out you haven't picked up the HSV virus, you might find you've come to a new understanding about the nature of sexual politics, the way you approach relationships and sex, and/or the ultimate meaning of the universe.
>Also, point taken with the blood test. He actually swabbed me, and >that's what they'll be testing, so I think I'll find out for sure in >two weeks. That sounds better than what I assumed from your earlier post. Still, cultures are rather notorious for returning false negatives, so you still might want to follow up with a blood test in another few months. A positive culture is pretty definite, unfortunately, and the blood tests are pretty reliable either way.
>Another part I left out was that the doctor said whatever they (the >pimples) were, they were highly infected and prescribed antibiotics. I [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >popping it? I guess the antibiotics will help, but I made sure to >clean myself as best as I could in the bathroom. Probably, the doc was referring to the cells immediately surrounding the infected areas. Better to get the infected fluids out and begin the healing in the area. His prescribing antibiotics sounds like he thought it *was* rather a mess, so it's a good thing you went in.
Take care,
Mike
Angela S. - 10 Jan 2006 12:34 GMT > I also called my friend and had > an awkward conversation with her. She said she never had any outbreaks > but didn't know 100% sure whether or not she was a carrier. When it comes to Herpes... you either have it or you don't have it. What that means roughly is that all carriers of herpes simplex virus have herpes.
> For peace of mind, I spent hours on the internet, reading everything I > could find and looking at pictures. That's too bad because most of the pictures that you find on the internet are the worst case scenarios and not too realistic to what is common for most people that have herpes.
> This whole thing has definitely changed me. It's weighed on my mind -- > will I ever be able to have sex again? Why would your mind take you THERE ?
> I mean, how does someone react > to you telling them that you have herpes? Seven years, a marriage, and three children later... http://www.yoshi2me.com/herpes-telling.html
> There is such a stigma > attached to it (even though apparently 20% of the adult population has > it) that, unless the relationship is already strong and committed or > she is also infected, I can't see anyone reacting positively. Just because you are seeing it in a negative light doesn't mean that it has to be that way. The majority of folks that contribute to the negative stigma associated with having herpes are those that actually have the virus and those that have a non educated view of the virus.
Hang in there,
Angela :)
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shesand - 22 Jan 2006 01:35 GMT Charles. I definitely know how you are feeling. I was feeling exactly like that after I was diagnosed with Genital Herpes. I thought my romantic life was over with and that no guy would ever want to be with me sexually. I will never forget the day that I found out that I had herpes. I was covered under the military insurance-my dad was in the military. The doctors at first couldn't figure out what was wrong with me b.c. I didn't have any physical bumps. They put me on all kinds of anitbiotics and couldn't figure it out. Finally on a Sunday, I went to the on call doctor. At first, he said it didn't look Herpes and he couldn't figure it out. Then he said he needed a second opinion, he went and got another on-call doctor. The doctor took one look at the sore and said "yup that's herpes, I've seen it a million times." I couldn't believe how cold he was towards me when he told me that. That made me feel even worse about the situation. After I did more research on it, it started to make me feel a little better about the whole thing. After talking to some close friends about it, I realized that if a guy didn't want to be with me b.c of that, then they weren't worth my time to begin with. It was painful when they rejected me and some would spread the word, but started to not bother me. I learned how to "feel" people out before telling them and now I'm with someone who loves me for me and he doesn't care that I have it or if he gets it.
CharlesMorse@yahoo.com - 23 Jan 2006 22:53 GMT > Charles. > I definitely know how you are feeling. I was feeling exactly like that [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > people out before telling them and now I'm with someone who loves me > for me and he doesn't care that I have it or if he gets it. Well, the test came back negative. So it turns out that I won't have to put up with insensitive a-holes in this regard. The experience has definitely given me a new perspective. For example, before all of this I might have acted like one of those guys who rejected you for fear of catching HSV (although I would never have spread the information around -- you have to wonder what makes a person that much of an a--hole). You learn, you grow.
Thank you all for your kind words and support.
Angela S. - 27 Jan 2006 19:09 GMT > Well, the test came back negative. So glad to hear that you do not have herpes.
That's terrific news!
Angela :)
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shesand - 27 Jan 2006 22:15 GMT I'm glad to hear that you don't either. All that worry for nothing.
Great News!!!
shesand - 22 Jan 2006 01:36 GMT Charles. I definitely know how you are feeling. I was feeling exactly like that after I was diagnosed with Genital Herpes. I thought my romantic life was over with and that no guy would ever want to be with me sexually. I will never forget the day that I found out that I had herpes. I was covered under the military insurance-my dad was in the military. The doctors at first couldn't figure out what was wrong with me b.c. I didn't have any physical bumps. They put me on all kinds of anitbiotics and couldn't figure it out. Finally on a Sunday, I went to the on call doctor. At first, he said it didn't look Herpes and he couldn't figure it out. Then he said he needed a second opinion, he went and got another on-call doctor. The doctor took one look at the sore and said "yup that's herpes, I've seen it a million times." I couldn't believe how cold he was towards me when he told me that. That made me feel even worse about the situation. After I did more research on it, it started to make me feel a little better about the whole thing. After talking to some close friends about it, I realized that if a guy didn't want to be with me b.c of that, then they weren't worth my time to begin with. It was painful when they rejected me and some would spread the word, but started to not bother me. I learned how to "feel" people out before telling them and now I'm with someone who loves me for me and he doesn't care that I have it or if he gets it.
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