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Red - 31 Dec 2005 16:37 GMT

Hello everyone,

Herpes has been in my life in some way for the past 7 years or so.

I was in a long terms relationship with a male partner for about 6
years. He had non-typed genital herpes, and after our relationship
ended, I had the Western Blot test done. It came back negative for
both types of HSV.

About a year ago, a female partner and I decided to get the entire
gamut of std testing done after she had a break-out of blisters on her
cheeks, something she had had in the past. We both tested positive for
HSV 1.

Here's the kicker, I've never had typical signs of an outbreak and
I've read up extensively on the different types of signs there are.
The only thing I have had that maybe considered a "cold sore" is
about once a year, I get splits in the corners of my mouth and my lips
are extremely dry and kid of tingly. The splits go away after about 4
days through using Blistex.

I'm now in a relationship with a wonderful gal, I've never told her
any of this and we've been sexually intimate for the past three
months. To be honest, I never even think about the Western Blot
results due to the lack of symptoms.

She's gone back home to England, while I live here in Canada.
We're not in a "serious" relationship, at least not yet, but
I'm going to visit her in two months time and am thinking I need to
tell her when I'm there.

We talk about twice a week and I've thought about telling her I've
gotten a "cold sore" to gage what her reaction would be, but its
not true and that just as bad as not having said anything in the first
place.

The thought of telling her scares the hell out of me, and since I'm
pretty much asymptomatic, I know how much fear can happen when someone
doesn't know all there is to know about herpes. I've thought about
getting the Western Blot done again, but how often to false positives
happen? And, I don't really have the $150 to sink into another test.

A phone call, an email, the day I land at the airport?

For all I know, yes, those little splits I get might be a reoccurrence.
Does my having a piece of paper with HSV 1 on it make the discussion
all that more serious? Or is a simple, "Hey, I get cold sores
sometimes and when I've got them, I can't be kissing your lips or
anything else" suffice?

Any input would be much appreciated.

Thanks,

J.

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Al - 31 Dec 2005 23:28 GMT

> For all I know, yes, those little splits I get might be a reoccurrence.
> Does my having a piece of paper with HSV 1 on it make the discussion
> all that more serious? Or is a simple, "Hey, I get cold sores
> sometimes and when I've got them, I can't be kissing your lips or
> anything else" suffice?

If you just get splits in the corners of your lips, that may not be herpes,
or coldsores, it may be a vitamin deficiency. Personally I really don't
think cold sores are a big deal, and I would only bring it up when you have
one if you do, and just say "Maybe we shouldn't do oral sex, because I have
a cold sore".

When I get a cold sore it is pretty small and only lasts a week tops. Plus I
get a series of pinching sensations with burning that feels like someone is
poking my top lip with a needle a few times, then I usually get a red pimple
like area and its no big deal otherwise. Sometimes I only get the pinching
and burning and no cold sores.

Al

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Grant - 01 Jan 2006 03:25 GMT

Hi Red,

>I was in a long terms relationship with a male partner for about 6
>years. He had non-typed genital herpes, and after our relationship
>ended, I had the Western Blot test done. It came back negative for
>both types of HSV.

How long after your relationship ended did you have the Western Blot test run?
Was it more than three months? If the test was done prior to 12 to 16 weeks
after exposure, then it's possible you just didn't have enough antibodies built
up in your system for the test to measure.

>Here's the kicker, I've never had typical signs of an outbreak and
>I've read up extensively on the different types of signs there are.

That's not unusual.

>The only thing I have had that maybe considered a "cold sore" is
>about once a year, I get splits in the corners of my mouth and my lips
>are extremely dry and kid of tingly. The splits go away after about 4
>days through using Blistex.

That could definitely be type 1 oral herpes. However, it might not be. The
problem with blood tests is they don't tell you WHERE your herpes are. You
could very well have genital type 1.

>I'm now in a relationship with a wonderful gal, I've never told her
>any of this and we've been sexually intimate for the past three
>months. To be honest, I never even think about the Western Blot
>results due to the lack of symptoms.

That's understandable. But not a good thing.

>She's gone back home to England, while I live here in Canada.
>We're not in a "serious" relationship, at least not yet, but
>I'm going to visit her in two months time and am thinking I need to
>tell her when I'm there.

It's important you tell her. Especially since she might already have type 1.

>We talk about twice a week and I've thought about telling her I've
>gotten a "cold sore" to gage what her reaction would be, but its
>not true and that just as bad as not having said anything in the first
>place.

I think the best thing to do is tell her that you've had partners that tested
positive for herpes. So, you had a test done and it came back positive for type
1--which might mean you have cold sores without having any symptoms. Or, it
could mean you have genital type 1. But be prepared to tell her genital type 1
doesn't transmit very easily to someone else's genitals. But oral type 1 can
transmit easily to the genitals through oral sex.

>The thought of telling her scares the hell out of me, and since I'm
>pretty much asymptomatic, I know how much fear can happen when someone
>doesn't know all there is to know about herpes. I've thought about
>getting the Western Blot done again, but how often to false positives
>happen? And, I don't really have the $150 to sink into another test.

I don't believe there is such a thing as a false positive western blot. :(

>A phone call, an email, the day I land at the airport?

Hmmm...Gee, that's a hard one to figure out!

>For all I know, yes, those little splits I get might be a reoccurrence.
> Does my having a piece of paper with HSV 1 on it make the discussion
>all that more serious? Or is a simple, "Hey, I get cold sores
>sometimes and when I've got them, I can't be kissing your lips or
>anything else" suffice?

I would go with what you've got above. No need to make it sound horrible. But
I'd ask her if she's ever had cold sores, too.

>Any input would be much appreciated.

Good luck!

ar

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