Hi Rolf,

Glad you came to seek the truth.

I'll do my best to answer your questions.  Keep reading below:

"RVK" <Vonkoenig@REMOVETHISbigfoot.com> wrote in message news:syDhb.11418>
1) Can I have normal relations with her (sexual) and

Yes.  However, you can also get it just as easily.  Well, not as easily.
First, you need to find out what type of herpes she has.  Make sure that she
has a test result that actually shows whether it is type 1 or type 2.  Many
doctors assume that because it is genital, that it is type 2.  Here's the
thing, if she has type 2, then it is easier to pass to the genitals but more
difficult to pass to the mouth.  Genital type 1 is more difficult to pass to
the genitals but easier to pass to the mouth.  Which, reminds me, have you
had a herpes blood test?  Lots of people have it and don't know it.  Have
you ever had a cold sore?

You should always use a condom although condoms only protect the covered
area.  Soap and water will kill the virus.  And just use some common sense.

You should have a test regardless.  The answer to your chances of getting it
depends on which type she has.

I don't keep track of the links.  Someone else will be along shortly with
that information for you.

You're welcome.

ar

You sound just like my husband when we were dating and getting to know each
other.
Feel free to check out how he felt when I first told him that I  have
genital herpes. I put it out there for others to read another's perspective:
http://members.cox.net/yoshi2me/Telling/Telling.htm

Keep reading ... I will answer your questions below ~

There are many steps the both of you can take to keep you from getting
herpes.
The bottom line is ~ there is nothing out there that will be 100%.
I have been with my partner since 1998 and so far (knock on wood) he has not
got genital herpes from me.
When we were dating ... we used condoms and I was on suppression with
Valtrex.
Today we are married and we take absolutely no precautions to keep him from
getting it.
But, that is just where we are at with all of it. Every couple is different.

Even without knowing about the oral sex that you participated in ~ I would
still go ahead and get a herpes test just for the simple fact that it's not
included in the routine std testing process. So, you really may have not
ever been tested for herpes.
With all the people out there that have it and don't know it because they
don't get any signs or symptoms ... it would be a good idea to rule it out
for you. Don't you think? Besides ... you may have always had it and just
didn't know ... know what I mean?

As for oral sex ... if she has genital herpes type-1 then it's very possible
that it could go to you around the oral area ... if she has genital herpes
type-2 ... chances are pretty rare that she would pass it to your mouth
through oral sex. Here's a good site to check out that talks about the
differences between type-1 and type-2 ... there is also a good site and type
guideline:
http://members.cox.net/yoshi2me/Site-Type/Site-Type.htm .

Here's a good place: http://members.cox.net/yoshi2me/Links/Links.htm

Keep us posted Rolf!! :)
It's nice to see that you like that gal for who she is and not what she has.
Kudos to you!! :)

Angela

We hear ya!

Having her take Valtrex daily and keeping yourself in condoms while
avoiding sex when she's having an outbreak (which should be pretty
rare with the Valtrex) is the safest way to go.

You have to realize that there will always be some risk, though, but
there are lots of couples where one partner remains herpes-free.  I
think it would be best to prepare yourself mentally just in case, but
if you really care for the girl it's not a difficult choice to make:
go for the girl.

Well, you could have, but maybe you didn't.  As for the test, if it
were me, I wouldn't get the test until or unless I was going to have
sex with someone *else*.  The way I'd figure it, with the current
girl, I'd either have it or I wouldn't.  If I got tested and didn't
have it and then had sex with her again, I'd wonder if I should have
another test.  But then, too, if I had the test and had it, then I
wouldn't have to keep wearing the stupid condoms all the time, bu then
again, I probably wouldn't be wearing them anyway.

And that's why I have herpes.  ;-)

Whether you get the test or not depends on your temperament.  I think
you only owe it to the next person you sleep with to find out whether
you got it during the current relationship.  If you never sleep with
anyone else then you never really need to know.

Don't know if all these still work (but I just amazed myself by doing
a mass Copy & Paste from my Bookmark file):

ASHA - Amer Social Health Assoc
http://www.ashastd.org/
http://www.ashastd.org/stdfaqs/index.html
http://www.ashastd.org/hrc/educate.html
WebMD
http://my.webmd.com/condition_center/ghr
http://my.webmd.com/content/dmk/dmk_article_40045
IHMF - Internat Herpes Mgt Forum
http://www.ihmf.org/
http://www.ihmf.org/globallinks/world1.asp
http://www.herpes.on.net/download/menu.htm
http://www.herpes-foundation.org/
http://www.herpes.on.net/genital_herpes/antiviral.htm
Misc:
http://www.healthcentral.com/Centers/OneCenter.cfm?Center=Herpes
http://www.herpes.com/
http://www.herpes.com/hsv1-2.html
http://www.viridae.com/Publicns.htm
http://www.cafeherpe.com/
http://depts.washington.edu/herpes/home.html
http://www.racoon.com/herpes/
http://members.aol.com/herpesite/test.html
http://www.herpeszone.com/
http://www.nidr.nih.gov/slavkin/inf_imm.htm
http://www.westoverheights.com/freebook.html
http://www.herpesalliance.com/
http://www.hosppract.com/issues/1999/02/cesacks.htm
http://www.urologychannel.com/std/herpes.shtml
http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hpb/lcdc/publicat/cjhs/cjhs5.html
http://www.cdc.gov/nchstp/dstd/Fact_Sheets/facts_Genital_Herpes.htm
http://www.nih.gov/health/InformationIndex/HealthIndex/pubinf-j.htm
http://webmd.lycos.com/content/article/1680.51738
http://www.ihmf.com/guidelines/summary6.asp

Hope that helps.

Mike

VK" <Vonkoenig@REMOVETHISbigfoot.com> wrote in message
news:<syDhb.11418$Eo2.3236@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net>...

Yes, I have been married for about 8 Years and have not transmitted HSV to
my wife. For about three out of the 8 years, I had at least one primary
lesion a month. During this time, she has been pregnant two time and all of
the children cam out just fine.

If you love her don't let it stop you.

likely to detect herpes when you have an open sore. Even then the culture
often comes up negative. You can get it when she is not having an outbreak
(sore) but the chance of the aren't likely. If you have not shown any
symptom, it is most likely that you don't have it, but you must evaluate
your own risks.