How to tell your partner?

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akosonom@gmail.com - 22 Dec 2005 14:18 GMT

I suspect that I have the disease and I do not know what to do. I am
going to get tested but even if the test is negative, apparently I
still have to wait 16 weeks to confirm the negative result.

I am really scared. Not so much for me but for my wife. She is a really
nice person that adores me. She is my best friend and I totally screwed
it up. How do I explain to her that for a moment of being horny I may
have gotten this disease and that we will never be able to have sexual
relationships like we used to do? I do not want to pretend that nothing
happen and risk infecting her. I would never forgive myself if I
infected her.

If somebody has had a similar situation, how did you deal with this? I
am getting sick and going crazy just to think about this whole
situation. I am desperate

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exxos - 22 Dec 2005 15:05 GMT

>I suspect that I have the disease and I do not know what to do. I am
> going to get tested but even if the test is negative, apparently I
[quoted text clipped - 11 lines]
> am getting sick and going crazy just to think about this whole
> situation. I am desperate

I have the same in reverse, my GF had sex with another guy after being with
me 6 years, she kept quiet about it for a few days and I knew nothing and
carried on having sex with her... when she told me I was crushed... I made
her get tested and she went, and she has HPV... you can imagine I am not
best pleased since chances are I have the virus now aswell.

my GF was drunk when it happend, people make mistakes and I am still very
pis*ed off with her, but I love her and I am sticking by her.... Get tested
first of all... I doubt you can not have sex for 16 weeks without questions
being raised. My tust of my GF is next to zero but I do not want to loose
her either, by rights I should dump for what she has done...

You can't hide it, if you have the virus and pass it onto her and she has a
outbreak then questions will be raised.... my advise is come clean and tell
her what happend, chances are she will ditch you but if she really loves you
*that* much then maybe she will stick by you. Take it as a lesson well
learnt and do not make the same mistake again.

For my, if my GF "screws up" one more time then no matter how much I love
her I give up and walk away. She was taken advantage of when she was rather
drunk, its not like she went out to get laid, so have to give her the doubt
and stand by her. Though if it happens again there theres no point in being
with her at all. I do still love her but I do not think I will ever forgive
her either, its a very bad basis for a relationship but we are trying to get
past it.... like I say people make mistakes, if someone really loves you
that much then you both will *eventually* get past it all.. thats if no more
screwups happen meanwhile.....

Chris

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saville.j@gmail.com - 22 Dec 2005 15:22 GMT

Thanks for your reply. It is the awful truth and if I am positive, I
will have to pay the consequences of my stupidity.

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Grant - 22 Dec 2005 18:58 GMT

One thing at a time.

Get yourself tested 16 weeks AFTER your exposure to your bad decision. If you
get tested earlier, you're wasting your money.

Second, get yourself tested for all stds.

Thirdly, tell your wife the truth.

ar

>I suspect that I have the disease and I do not know what to do. I am
>going to get tested but even if the test is negative, apparently I
[quoted text clipped - 11 lines]
>am getting sick and going crazy just to think about this whole
>situation. I am desperate

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