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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Herpes / September 2005What to do in this situation
Hello, I've been going out with a girl for about a week now and I started having sex with her about 3 days ago. Unfortuntely the first time I had sex with her the lights were off. On later sexual incounters I realised she had warts on her buttocks. She also had some sores. I think they were around her thighs but I can't be sure. She said her last previous sexual encounter was about 6 weeks ago. I'm worried that she may have a HPV or worse herpes. I had viginal sex with her and also performed oral sex on her. I'm currently using zinc and garlic supplements to help with my virility and Roxithromyin to treat acne so I hope these may somehow help me. It may be to early to go to a doctor if I don't have any symptoms yet. I really need to talk to her about it but don't want to heart her feelings and or risk her feeling guilty/very unhappy and ending the relationship but I really like her. Any ideas on what I should do? thanks, Chris >Hello, >I've been going out with a girl for about a week now and I started >having sex with her about 3 days ago. Unfortuntely the first time I had >sex with her the lights were off. On later sexual incounters I realised >she had warts on her buttocks. She also had some sores. I think they >were around her thighs but I can't be sure. >She said her last previous sexual encounter was about 6 weeks ago. >I'm worried that she may have a HPV or worse herpes. >I had viginal sex with her and also performed oral sex on her. >I'm currently using zinc and garlic supplements to help with my virility >and Roxithromyin to treat acne so I hope these may somehow help me. >It may be to early to go to a doctor if I don't have any symptoms yet. I >really need to talk to her about it but don't want to heart her feelings > and or risk her feeling guilty/very unhappy and ending the >relationship but I really like her. >Any ideas on what I should do? >thanks, >Chris STDs are a very real fact of life, and of concern to anyone having sex, so, while you jumped into bed before exploring the possibilities, it's never too early to raise the subject. You might want to talk about pregnancy, too, as that happens regularly with unprotected sex, too. It never seems easy to bring up such things in casual conversation, even if you're not worried about hurting someone's feelings, but in my experience, once the ice is broken, the talk flows naturally and with great interest. You are afraid of hurting the other person's feelings, but the other person is afraid of hurting yours, too, and probably wishing she could find a way to broach the subject herself. So be the tough one and get it started. You don't have to make it personal. Everyone should talk about these things, and you don't have to express any particular worries, just that you're surprised at how quickly things happened, and possibly offer some of your own sexual history as an example. Like, for instance, whether you've ever had unprotected sex before and whether or not you've been tested for STDs since. By the way, herpes is not the worst thing that you could get. I don't know if I'd say it's worse or better than HPV. They're two different things, neither one life-threatening in most circumtances. There are sexually transmitted diseases out there that *are* life-threatening, so it really is important that you educate yourself on the possibilities and probabilities, and get to know your partner better. That said, most people that I know with herpes seem to be enjoying their lives just as much as anyone. Good luck and take care, Mike >>Hello, > [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > want to talk about pregnancy, too, as that happens regularly with > unprotected sex, too. Yes, I agreed to help raise the child if that happened. > It never seems easy to bring up such things in casual conversation, > even if you're not worried about hurting someone's feelings, but in [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > ever had unprotected sex before and whether or not you've been > tested for STDs since. ok > By the way, herpes is not the worst thing that you could get. I > don't know if I'd say it's worse or better than HPV. I heard that HPVs can go away on their own. > They're two > different things, neither one life-threatening in most circumtances. [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Mike Thanks I will speak to her soon. There is some evidence that HPV can burn itself out. However, there is a lot more evidence that it is the cause of cervical cancer. So, I think HPV can be a bit worse. You need to talk to this woman. It is very possible that she has no idea that the symptoms she has could be an STD. ar >>>Hello, >> [quoted text clipped - 67 lines] > >Thanks I will speak to her soon. Hi Chris ~ I just wanted to add a few tid bits about HPV. There are over 100+ types of HPV and not all types are the cancer causing ones. The ones that can cause genital warts are usually not the cancer causing types either. Also - 1 in 4 adults has HPV. Here are some Questions and Answers specifically about HPV: http://www.yoshi2me.com/ipw-web/bulletin/bb/viewtopic.php?t=918 Hope this helps, Angela ;-)  SignatureThe STD Resource Network - by Those Who Live It! http://www.yoshi2me.com/ipw-web/bulletin/bb/index.php http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/PickingUpThePieces/ http://www.yoshi2me.com/herpes-h-pals.html Hi Chris ~ > I've been going out with a girl for about a week now and I started having > sex with her about 3 days ago. Unfortuntely the first time I had sex with [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > I'm currently using zinc and garlic supplements to help with my virility > and Roxithromyin to treat acne so I hope these may somehow help me. The only thing that is going to help you is to sit down and talk about stds *before* you have sex with your partner(s). You may even want to make a date to go get routine std testing done *before* you have sex. Also, you need to find out what your herpes status is - don't you think? Many people have herpes and don't know it because they don't get any signs or symptoms. So perhaps your status is what you should focus on for the time being and put off having sex until you know exactly what you are dealing with. Does that sound like a plan to you? > It may be to early to go to a doctor if I don't have any symptoms yet. I > really need to talk to her about it but don't want to heart her feelings > and or risk her feeling guilty/very unhappy and ending the relationship > but I really like her. > > Any ideas on what I should do? Go get tested together. But, be aware that not all stds are included in the routine std testing process. Over on my site -- www.yoshi2me.com you will find a list of things you should be asking your doctor to test you for. You can also find a list of herpes specific blood tests here: www.yoshi2me.com/genital-herpes.html -- be sure and print that out just in case your doctor doesn't know what a herpes blood test is. Hang in there Chris and keep us posted - ok? Angela ;-) SignatureInstant Message Anyone? Yahoo! Messenger - yoshi2me http://www.yoshi2me.com/ http://www.herpes-help.blogspot.com/ Hi Chris, I have had Genital Warts (HPV) and Genital Herpes for a long time. I'd have to say I had both about 10 years now and still have them. I am still kind of new to herpes, because I ended up just getting my primary outbreak about 6 months ago. I didn't know I had it, because the symptoms I was getting were so mild and I thought it was an allergic reaction. While they aren't great to have, I can say that I never had any problems meeting others or enjoying my life or not. I would still recommend getting checked. I will say that going through the herpes primary outbreak was pure hell with a capital H, but I'm trying to scare you, just want you to know that you should learn more and get checked. Later, Al > Hi Chris ~ > [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] > > Angela ;-) > Hi Chris ~ > [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] > > Angela ;-) Thanks everyone for your help. She did get upset when I asked her about the marks but said they were because of body having trouble carrying her weight. She is a big (but very beautiful) girl. I'm not going to push it any further but will get tested myself. The way things are going at the moment it looks like we will be life partners anyway. regards, Chris >> Hi Chris ~ >> [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >>>warts on her buttocks. She also had some sores. I think they were around >>>her thighs but I can't be sure. <snip> >Thanks everyone for your help. > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > >Chris Let me get this straight: She is saying that she is getting "sores" from being overweight? "Sores" are not stretch marks. Fresh stretch marks can be red and will fade to a skin tone. Whether new or old stretch marks have horizontal texture lines in them. By the way, life partnerships take far longer than a moment or 7 days to build. Enthusiasm can fade, like stretch marks, with everyday living. Good luck. LK I am fat, and I am kind of wondering what " body having trouble carrying her weight" would cause marks.. other than stretch marks or spider/varicose veins.. the only thing that comes to mind is = something some women are a bit afraid to talk about are ingrown hairs! And hair in places some women dont have it.... I have spots on my inner thighs, where I am quite fat. That are darkened purple scars, also I have ingrown hairs here and there because unfortunately I have hair around that same spot. So, it looks sometimes like little sores all over my inner thighs.. As far as the warts on her butt... are you sure theyre warts? how does she explain this? and LK - I have stretch marks from having my son that are to this day BRIGHT BLOOD RED! Its been a year, they havent faded in the slightest - my mothers are also very red from when she had me almost 30 yrs ago! So.. this isnt true for everyone. Sorry for mistakes, I wrote too much and have no time to proofread! > I am fat, and I am kind of wondering what " body having trouble carrying her > weight" would cause marks.. other than stretch marks or spider/varicose [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > So.. this isnt true for everyone. > Sorry for mistakes, I wrote too much and have no time to proofread! OK I'm not sure at this stage what's what. I'm just made a doctors appointment for tomorrow morning so will ask to be tested then. Will keep the newsgroup posted. BTW which do you think is most likely to cured AIDS or HSV1/2? regards, Chris >BTW which do you think is most likely to cured AIDS or HSV1/2? >regards, I have no idea. But I would certainly hope that AIDS would be far and away the priority. There's no comparison between the two. M2 >>BTW which do you think is most likely to cured AIDS or HSV1/2? >>regards, [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > M2 AIDS seems to be almost under control in developed nations like mine. regards, Chris >AIDS seems to be almost under control in developed nations like mine. Unfortunately it's still a problem in under informed nations like mine. M2 >>AIDS seems to be almost under control in developed nations like mine. > > Unfortunately it's still a problem in under informed nations like > mine. > > M2 Both should be cured. I don't think there is a "priority" as such as the human race is not a single and organised entity. There's a huge market for a cure for both but they are also making a lot of money selling the treatments in the meantime. regards, Chris Sure, in a perfect world, both would be cured. But that wasn't the question posed. If I had to choose which one should be cured first, it would be AIDS. People die from that one, you know. ar >>>AIDS seems to be almost under control in developed nations like mine. >> [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > >Chris >AIDS. People die from that one, you know. .... and herpes is barely a bother in comparison. More a social phobia than a physical problem. M2 > Sure, in a perfect world, both would be cured. But that wasn't the question > posed. > > If I had to choose which one should be cured first, it would be AIDS. People > die from that one, you know. When I said "BTW which do you think is most likely to cured AIDS or HSV1/2?" I meant from a technical and medical perspective which one the cure is most plausable. This is regardless of which has worse effects on humans or which we decide is more of a priority. It may be a bigger priority to fix a bridge that people cross to take them over rapids than it may be to fix a crack in the footpath. But the crack in the footpath would be easier to fix. regards, Chris Hi Chris ~ Is your life partner going to go and get tested with you? Make sure you ask the clinic what they are going to test you specifically for because not all stds are included in the routine std testing process. Over on the herpes help site there is a list of things that docs and clinics should be checking the both of you for: http://www.yoshi2me.com Also ~ just because you have found your life's partner (congratulations by the way) doesn't mean the two of you shouldn't be fully aware of what's going on OR exactly what you would be dealing with IF there is anything to deal with in the first place. If you would like to read our story you are more than welcome to do so. I have had genital herpes for 10 years now and my husband Don doesn't have genital herpes. Here's the link for that: http://www.yoshi2me.com/herpes-telling.html *For those of you regulars that haven't had a chance to check it out there is a wedding photo down at the bottom of the page. Angela ;-) > Hi Chris ~ > > Is your life partner going to go and get tested with you? I consulted with a male doctor in my suburb and I think she is probably going to consult with a female doctor that she trusts in her suburb. I talked to her about it last night. She has only been with 1 person unprotected since she last had an STD check but of course from reading your site it looks like often herpies and HPV's aren't always checked for. She was checked when she had an abortion if that makes any difference. I've been with a handful myself since my last check but had never previously been tested for herpies or HPVs anyway. The doctor really only asked me if I had visable symptoms and at the time I hadn't had anything other than pr0n in 2 years. > Make sure you ask the clinic what they are going to test you specifically > for because not all stds are included in the routine std testing process. [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > genital herpes. Here's the link for that: > http://www.yoshi2me.com/herpes-telling.html That's very inspiring. Thank you. > *For those of you regulars that haven't had a chance to check it out there > is a wedding photo down at the bottom of the page. > > Angela ;-) As you've figured out here Chris ~ not having signs or symptoms doesn't really mean anything. Like I said earlier ~ herpes and hpv and other stds are not included in the routine std testing process. So unless you two specifically ask each of your clinicians what they are going to test you for exactly ~ you may never know. Here's that herpes testing page again: http://www.yoshi2me.com/genital-herpes.html Take Care, Angela ;-) SignatureThe STD Resource Network - by Those Who Live It! http://www.yoshi2me.com/ipw-web/bulletin/bb/index.php http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/PickingUpThePieces/ http://www.yoshi2me.com/herpes-h-pals.html >> Hi Chris ~ >> [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] >> >> Angela ;-) |
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