Well, I'm back from Eyerak.  Flew in with the bird flu a couple of days
ago and have been hanging out in that little shack behind Big Daddy's we
used to screw in when we were kids, Loretta.  Would you believe I
stumbled on that used condom I was wearing when I popped your cherry?  I
know it's the same one because it's red and has a hole in the business
end of it.  I saved it for you so you could put it in your scrapbook.
It's kind of dried out though.
 
Thanks so much for taking such good care of the gator eggs while I was
off to Eyerak.  My mission there was of the utmost importance, I've left
enough of the sex flu virus to incapacitate the entire Middle East.  I'm
a bit miffed about how the military intends to use it though.  The
politicos are making them wait til just before the elections in November
before they turn it loose.  Ashley got the government contract for
staging emergency birth control devices and morning after pills all over
the Middle East to avoid a population explosion of little arabs.  They
put Saddam on Badd Luck for a ride and she bucked him silly.  Both of
them will be home before they unleash the virus.  Ash told me Badd Luck
is sick of bucking arabs.
I'm taking a few days off before I get back in the lab.  I'll be hanging
out over at Big Daddy's in case you want to get drunk with us.  Just
don't bring those leeches into the bar.  Last time you did, one latched
onto the forehead of Billy Bob's girlfriend and sucked the brains right
out of her.  She hasn't been the same since.  Of course, Billy Bob
doesn't mind too much.  

Doc Killborn