Post-treatment (4 weeks) HCV labs

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Russian - 09 Nov 2007 06:16 GMT

Completed treatment mid-September. PCR done on October 11th, about 4
weeks after last meds.

160iu/ml

Sure, the test labels this in words, "undetectable". So I guess that
means there's some chance it could be a blip in the PCR amplification
process.

But I was zero 24 weeks into treatment (Pegasys/Riba) and completed 48
weeks.

I zig-zag emotionally today day from one extreme interpretation to
another... "meaningless blip in the background noise" to "death sentence".

I want to kill the guy who gave me this, but he died of an overdose long
long ago. I want to go back in time and tell my young reckless
self-destructive self, "you're miserable now and you don't care if you
live or die, but someday you're going to pay your dues and then be
happy, like you wanted but believed could never happen for you, and then
right in the middle of that, when you're on a roll, the devil will show
up with the unpaid bill HCV and threaten to take it all away." f.ck,
f.ck f.ck...

I want to forget about today and pretend everything is great just like
everyone expected and then maybe it will be that way at the 12-week-post
test.

I'm telling you because I can't or won't tell anyone else.

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TX-012 - 09 Nov 2007 23:05 GMT

> Completed treatment mid-September. PCR done on October 11th, about 4
> weeks after last meds.
[quoted text clipped - 19 lines]
> up with the unpaid bill HCV and threaten to take it all away." f.ck,
> f.ck f.ck...

You will beat this. Even if you haven't this time, you will. You (and
I, if my tx doesn't work) are lucky to be tx-ing at a time of real
innovation in this field; there will be much more effective and
briefer treatments available very soon---and if you don't have an SVR,
you could prolly get into a clinical trial very soon.

Don't be hard on your younger self, I'm sure he was doing the best he
could given his experience and knowledge then, just as you are today.
You made a mistake that hurt yourself, probably stemming from a lot of
pain, this was not a act of deliberate mallice towards innocent
others...

Besides, now kids will listen to you when you tell them:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNbExvU42q4

<g>

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Russian - 11 Nov 2007 10:22 GMT

> Don't be hard on your younger self, I'm sure he was doing the best he
> could given his experience and knowledge then, just as you are today.
> You made a mistake that hurt yourself, probably stemming from a lot of
> pain, this was not a act of deliberate mallice towards innocent
> others...

Yes, I was, and it was due to a lot of pain...

Of course you are right and well said.

> Besides, now kids will listen to you when you tell them:
>
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNbExvU42q4
>
> <g>

Yeah <s> - reminds me of a true story - the grandparents told the
parents how when they were kids they had to walk 6 miles through the
snow to get to school - the parents told us how when they were kids they
had to choose between spending their nickel on the trolley or spend it
on ice cream and then walk an hour to get home - now I tell my kids,
"When I was kid, we didn't have remote controls - we had to get up and
walk across the room to change channels!"

<g>

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Thip - 10 Nov 2007 00:37 GMT

> I want to forget about today and pretend everything is great just like
> everyone expected and then maybe it will be that way at the 12-week-post
> test.
>
> I'm telling you because I can't or won't tell anyone else.

I understand, believe me. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt to prove
it.

I find it ironic that the blood transfusion that saved my life when I was 21
is killing me at 54.

I've got 5--count 'em, FIVE--beautiful grandkids. I want to see them grow
up. Morgan started walking today. Will I be here to see her walk when she
graduates high school?

My daughter needs her Mom. Her Daddy blew his brains out in one room while
she was on the phone talking in another. She was all of 14 at the time.
That's enough trauma without worrying about me.

I take it a day at a time, sometimes a minute at a time. One thing this
disease has taught me--I've learned to find my joy is the small things.
Somehow all that stuff that used to seem so terribly important really
doesn't matter any more.

There are new drugs coming down the pike. As long as we're still pickin'
and grinnin', we got every reason to keep hopin'.

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Russian - 11 Nov 2007 10:31 GMT

> There are new drugs coming down the pike. As long as we're still pickin'
> and grinnin', we got every reason to keep hopin'.

Yeah, and like you said, being around to contribute to the future of
those little kids gives us a hell of a lot of determination.

Thanks for your words - meant a lot to me.

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