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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Hepatitis / January 2007Stupid questions get stupid answers
Went to my doctor at the VA yesterday and am being treated for pneumonia. As is normal practice at the VA, the nurse took my vital signs, weighed me, then sat me down to ask a battery of questions while she entered my answers into the computer. All went well until she asked..."Are you aware of all the medications you're taking?" My first reply was "Only the ones I can think of." Then the old Cheech and Chong skit about the guy charged with rape popped into my head and the line "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't Mr. Hornwinkle, now would I?" popped into my head. And I said, "If I wasn't aware of drugs I was taking, how would I know I was taking them?" The nurse says "I don't know....I'm just supposed to ask you that question." I really wonder what intelligent person at the VA thought that one up. ahahahahahaha The Amazon woman in the lab scared the hell out of me when she drew my blood. She wouldn't shut up long enough to concentrate on what she was doing and kept asking me about my f.cking Christmas. Meanwhile, she missed my vein and began 'fishing' til she got a small blood return in the first of three tubes she tried to draw. When she only got a few drops in the tube, she said "Ooops.... it musta been a bad tube.", then started fishing some more before getting enough to fill the last two tubes and pulling the needle out. I said, "Didn't you need the first tube, you know, the red one?" And she says, "Naw, it was an extra tube anyway. I've got all the blood I need." Freaky....really freaky. I love the VA. elmo (cough, cough) http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/DocElmosHepFile http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/TheFamilyAlbum > Went to my doctor at the VA yesterday and am being treated for > pneumonia. As is normal practice at the VA, the nurse took my vital [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > elmo > (cough, cough) LOL! Aw, Doc, that's too funny, really sad, but funny. Sorry to hear that you've got pneumonia. You take care of that willya. You've given me an idea though... someone should do some health-related newsgroup archive reading and compile all those kinds of stories into a book or a website. It would make great reading for anyone who has to suffer dealing with any level of the medical profession. And a happy New Year to you and your wonderfully irreverant sense of humour! Spidey Re: Stupid questions get stupid answers Group: alt.support.hepatitis-c Date: Thu, Dec 28, 2006, 10:09am (CST-2) From: waterspider@moonlight.net (Waterspider) <elmoemerson@webtv.net> wrote in message news:464-4593E977-14@storefull-3258.bay.webtv.net... Went to my doctor at the VA yesterday and am being treated for pneumonia. As is normal practice at the VA, the nurse took my vital signs, weighed me, then sat me down to ask a battery of questions while she entered my answers into the computer. All went well until she asked..."Are you aware of all the medications you're taking?" My first reply was "Only the ones I can think of." Then the old Cheech and Chong skit about the guy charged with rape popped into my head and the line "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't Mr. Hornwinkle, now would I?" popped into my head. And I said, "If I wasn't aware of drugs I was taking, how would I know I was taking them?" The nurse says "I don't know....I'm just supposed to ask you that question." I really wonder what intelligent person at the VA thought that one up. ahahahahahaha The Amazon woman in the lab scared the hell out of me when she drew my blood. She wouldn't shut up long enough to concentrate on what she was doing and kept asking me about my f.cking Christmas. Meanwhile, she missed my vein and began 'fishing' til she got a small blood return in the first of three tubes she tried to draw. When she only got a few drops in the tube, she said "Ooops.... it musta been a bad tube.", then started fishing some more before getting enough to fill the last two tubes and pulling the needle out. I said, "Didn't you need the first tube, you know, the red one?" And she says, "Naw, it was an extra tube anyway. I've got all the blood I need." Freaky....really freaky. I love the VA. elmo (cough, cough) LOL! Aw, Doc, that's too funny, really sad, but funny. Sorry to hear that you've got pneumonia. You take care of that willya. You've given me an idea though... someone should do some health-related newsgroup archive reading and compile all those kinds of stories into a book or a website. It would make great reading for anyone who has to suffer dealing with any level of the medical profession. And a happy New Year to you and your wonderfully irreverant sense of humour! Spidey /////////// Thanks, Spidey. You have a happy New Year too. elmo http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/DocElmosHepFile http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/TheFamilyAlbum On Thu, 28 Dec 2006 09:57:43 -0600, elmoemerson@webtv.net, in message ID <464-4593E977-14@storefull-3258.bay.webtv.net>, in the newsgroup alt.support.hepatitis-c wrote: >Went to my doctor at the VA yesterday and am being treated for >pneumonia. As is normal practice at the VA, the nurse took my vital [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] >elmo >(cough, cough) Elmo. Just want to say that I'm sorry to hear that you are ill and I wish you a quick recovery. Best wishes. Re: Stupid questions get stupid answers Group: alt.support.hepatitis-c Date: Thu, Dec 28, 2006, 7:06pm (CST+6) From: dontspamme@westgreen.freeserve.co.uk (Paul) On Thu, 28 Dec 2006 09:57:43 -0600, elmoemerson@webtv.net, in message ID <464-4593E977-14@storefull-3258.bay.webtv.net>, in the newsgroup alt.support.hepatitis-c wrote: Went to my doctor at the VA yesterday and am being treated for pneumonia. As is normal practice at the VA, the nurse took my vital signs, weighed me, then sat me down to ask a battery of questions while she entered my answers into the computer. All went well until she asked..."Are you aware of all the medications you're taking?" My first reply was "Only the ones I can think of." Then the old Cheech and Chong skit about the guy charged with rape popped into my head and the line "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't Mr. Hornwinkle, now would I?" popped into my head. And I said, "If I wasn't aware of drugs I was taking, how would I know I was taking them?" The nurse says "I don't know....I'm just supposed to ask you that question." I really wonder what intelligent person at the VA thought that one up. ahahahahahaha The Amazon woman in the lab scared the hell out of me when she drew my blood. She wouldn't shut up long enough to concentrate on what she was doing and kept asking me about my f.cking Christmas. Meanwhile, she missed my vein and began 'fishing' til she got a small blood return in the first of three tubes she tried to draw. When she only got a few drops in the tube, she said "Ooops.... it musta been a bad tube.", then started fishing some more before getting enough to fill the last two tubes and pulling the needle out. I said, "Didn't you need the first tube, you know, the red one?" And she says, "Naw, it was an extra tube anyway. I've got all the blood I need." Freaky....really freaky. I love the VA. elmo (cough, cough) Elmo. Just want to say that I'm sorry to hear that you are ill and I wish you a quick recovery. Best wishes. ////////////// Thanks, Paul. Hope you have a healthy, profitable New Year. elmo http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/DocElmosHepFile http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/TheFamilyAlbum elmo get well soon.......... > Went to my doctor at the VA yesterday and am being treated for > pneumonia. As is normal practice at the VA, the nurse took my vital [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > > http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/TheFamilyAlbum Thanks, John. Happy New Year! elmo ////////// elmo get well soon.......... elmoemerson@webtv.net wrote: Went to my doctor at the VA yesterday and am being treated for pneumonia. As is normal practice at the VA, the nurse took my vital signs, weighed me, then sat me down to ask a battery of questions while she entered my answers into the computer. All went well until she asked..."Are you aware of all the medications you're taking?" My first reply was "Only the ones I can think of." Then the old Cheech and Chong skit about the guy charged with rape popped into my head and the line "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't Mr. Hornwinkle, now would I?" popped into my head. And I said, "If I wasn't aware of drugs I was taking, how would I know I was taking them?" The nurse says "I don't know....I'm just supposed to ask you that question." I really wonder what intelligent person at the VA thought that one up. ahahahahahaha The Amazon woman in the lab scared the hell out of me when she drew my blood. She wouldn't shut up long enough to concentrate on what she was doing and kept asking me about my f.cking Christmas. Meanwhile, she missed my vein and began 'fishing' til she got a small blood return in the first of three tubes she tried to draw. When she only got a few drops in the tube, she said "Ooops.... it musta been a bad tube.", then started fishing some more before getting enough to fill the last two tubes and pulling the needle out. I said, "Didn't you need the first tube, you know, the red one?" And she says, "Naw, it was an extra tube anyway. I've got all the blood I need." Freaky....really freaky. I love the VA. elmo (cough, cough) http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/DocElmosHepFile http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/TheFamilyAlbum http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/DocElmosHepFile http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/TheFamilyAlbum Thanks, John. Happy New Year! elmo ////////// elmo get well soon.......... Went to my doctor at the VA yesterday and am being treated for pneumonia. As is normal practice at the VA, the nurse took my vital signs, weighed me, then sat me down to ask a battery of questions while she entered my answers into the computer. All went well until she asked..."Are you aware of all the medications you're taking?" My first reply was "Only the ones I can think of." Then the old Cheech and Chong skit about the guy charged with rape popped into my head and the line "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't Mr. Hornwinkle, now would I?" popped into my head. And I said, "If I wasn't aware of drugs I was taking, how would I know I was taking them?" The nurse says "I don't know....I'm just supposed to ask you that question." I really wonder what intelligent person at the VA thought that one up. ahahahahahaha The Amazon woman in the lab scared the hell out of me when she drew my blood. She wouldn't shut up long enough to concentrate on what she was doing and kept asking me about my f.cking Christmas. Meanwhile, she missed my vein and began 'fishing' til she got a small blood return in the first of three tubes she tried to draw. When she only got a few drops in the tube, she said "Ooops.... it musta been a bad tube.", then started fishing some more before getting enough to fill the last two tubes and pulling the needle out. I said, "Didn't you need the first tube, you know, the red one?" And she says, "Naw, it was an extra tube anyway. I've got all the blood I need." Freaky....really freaky. I love the VA. elmo (cough, cough) http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/DocElmosHepFile http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/TheFamilyAlbum Didn't know you were sick when we talked yesterday. I know tons of people who got sick over the holidays. I hope you are feeling better soon and can ring in the New Year with a bang. (don't say it). Spent the day with Sydney Marie yesterday. She's a doll. Happy New Year to one of my best buddies! YTYLMMBYD Mom http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/DocElmosHepFile http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/TheFamilyAlbum Re: Stupid questions get stupid answers Group: alt.support.hepatitis-c Date: Sat, Dec 30, 2006, 5:10pm (CST+6) From: nospam4me@forgetaboutit.com (Mom) <elmoemerson@webtv.net> wrote in message news:5692-45952AF4-154@storefull-3255.bay.webtv.net... Thanks, John. Happy New Year! elmo ////////// elmo get well soon.......... elmoemerson@webtv.net wrote: Went to my doctor at the VA yesterday and am being treated for pneumonia. As is normal practice at the VA, the nurse took my vital signs, weighed me, then sat me down to ask a battery of questions while she entered my answers into the computer. All went well until she asked..."Are you aware of all the medications you're taking?" My first reply was "Only the ones I can think of." Then the old Cheech and Chong skit about the guy charged with rape popped into my head and the line "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't Mr. Hornwinkle, now would I?" popped into my head. And I said, "If I wasn't aware of drugs I was taking, how would I know I was taking them?" The nurse says "I don't know....I'm just supposed to ask you that question." I really wonder what intelligent person at the VA thought that one up. ahahahahahaha The Amazon woman in the lab scared the hell out of me when she drew my blood. She wouldn't shut up long enough to concentrate on what she was doing and kept asking me about my f.cking Christmas. Meanwhile, she missed my vein and began 'fishing' til she got a small blood return in the first of three tubes she tried to draw. When she only got a few drops in the tube, she said "Ooops.... it musta been a bad tube.", then started fishing some more before getting enough to fill the last two tubes and pulling the needle out. I said, "Didn't you need the first tube, you know, the red one?" And she says, "Naw, it was an extra tube anyway. I've got all the blood I need." Freaky....really freaky. I love the VA. elmo (cough, cough) http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/DocElmosHepFile http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/TheFamilyAlbum Didn't know you were sick when we talked yesterday. I know tons of people who got sick over the holidays. I hope you are feeling better soon and can ring in the New Year with a bang. (don't say it). Spent the day with Sydney Marie yesterday. She's a doll. Happy New Year to one of my best buddies! YTYLMMBYD Mom /////////// Yep, I'm somewhat better but still not up to hitting the party trail. The only 'bang' around here tonight will be if I get one of my guns out, and I don't wanna do that. I'd hate to start the New Year out with an 'early' arrest. Hope you're able to ring in the New Year with a bang too. (go ahead and say it) YTYMMBYD? Oh, my gosh!!!!!!! <blushing> Woooooohoooooooooo!! elmo http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/DocElmosHepFile http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/TheFamilyAlbum Sorry to hear about the pneumonia Elmo, I went thru that in Oct and I was practically comatose for 10 days - the wallpaper was dancing and I tried to answer the "clicker" when a phone rang. The medical community has jaded me quite thoroughly this past year. Personal favorites: Step on the scale. Ok you weigh 145. I weigh 120 Well the scale says 145. (She writes that down) I can't seem to get your blood pressure. After four tries, finally gets one, but nursie is not satisifed with so she decides to use another cuff, gets a totally different reading and shrugs "none of these work right anyway" Let's not get into the PCP who ASSURED me for three years that mildly elevated liver enzymes were absolutely nothing to worry about, "as we get older blah blah blah..." The Good News is I kicked Dragon Butt - Happy New Year and feel better soon :) Thanks, gal. It's obviously a conspiracy by the medical community to kill us and take all our money. :-) Am feeling somewhat better as I'm about half-way thru a 10-day course of anitbiotics. Keep kicking dragon butt and have a happy NY too. elmo ///////////// Sorry to hear about the pneumonia Elmo, I went thru that in Oct and I was practically comatose for 10 days - the wallpaper was dancing and I tried to answer the "clicker" when a phone rang. The medical community has jaded me quite thoroughly this past year. Personal favorites: Step on the scale. Ok you weigh 145. I weigh 120 Well the scale says 145. (She writes that down) I can't seem to get your blood pressure. After four tries, finally gets one, but nursie is not satisifed with so she decides to use another cuff, gets a totally different reading and shrugs "none of these work right anyway" Let's not get into the PCP who ASSURED me for three years that mildly elevated liver enzymes were absolutely nothing to worry about, "as we get older blah blah blah..." The Good News is I kicked Dragon Butt - Happy New Year and feel better soon :) http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/DocElmosHepFile http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/TheFamilyAlbum At least I'll bet you never had to sit in an OB/GYN office for a prenatatl vist and have to answer "Last type of birth control used?" I always wanted to write "duh, if I 'd used it I wouldn't be here now would I?" ;) Happy New Year Elmo, get well soon! Thanks, Gumboot. You have a happy and prosperous New Year too! elmo http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/DocElmosHepFile http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/TheFamilyAlbum |
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