Hey Dort, I'll intersperse:

Dort:
Hey guys.....
I don't know who else to turn to. I've had such a shitty couple of weeks.
I've been working, waiting on the letter from my gastro to give my
employer stating that time off may be necessary. At my visit with him I
got the feeling he didn't want to deal with short term disability.

kj:
I think one of the HUGE reasons heppers fail tx is because it is disabling
but their doctors don't feel that they earn enough money to do the
paperwork involved required to help them.  Terrible!

Dort:
At the time I wasn't even sure if I would take it, but wanted something in
writing from him, just in case. I had a talk with my boss, and he was
willing to let me cut my hours as needed. But found that when I asked to
leave early he seemed a little put out. I wouldn't have asked to leave
early if I thought the work load for the afternoon would be to much for
them to handle without me. My chief complaint is the relentless pain in my
legs, especially the knees. I am on my feet all day, eight and a half hours
minimum to ten hours. I have to deal with people that are getting dentures,
they are not easy to deal with because adjusting to wearing a prosthetic in
your mouth is not easy. There is also a huge amount of dysfunction at my
work place. The doc in charge is passive aggressive....ah hell, it's too
much to get into. Suffice to say the stress level is off the charts.

kj:
It seems clear to me that you work your a.s off at that clinic, and your
boss takes advantage of you.  Be nice to him but look to the future.
Surely your skills are in demand elsewhere?  He is clueless about what you
are going through.  My husband can't grasp that a person is sick unless
they are vomiting, having seizures, or comatose [rant].  

Dort:
I told my gastro that the stress and physical discomfort is starting to
take a negative toll.

kj:
Bit of an understatement?  :)

Dort:
He said he would dictate a letter for me and to call my nurse to instruct
them where to send it. That was the 14th. I waited until Tues of this week
to call the nurse, she wasn't available so I left a message and was told
she would get back to me. Wednesday when I still hadn't heard from her I
placed another call and left a message again with all the information. On
Thursday, when I still hadn't heard back from her I left a message with
the PA. By 2 PM I still hadn't heard word from either I called again. When
I was explaining why I was calling I was put on hold a few times and then
assured I would hear from the nurse. She finally called me and this is
what she told me, " Your chart is still on the doctors desk, he is still
debating on if he wants to write it and he's been on call this week so
that's why you haven't heard from him." Her tone seemed a little nasty, I
wanted to say I was only doing as instructed but all that came out was I
was having a hard time with pain and need to adjust my hours at work and
the letter would help with me being able to do that. I then explained
about the chronic pain in my knees and told her the amt of Tylenol I am
allowed daily isn't helping and asked if using ibuprofen would be a better
choice. To this she replied, "I'd have to get your chart and check and get
back with you, but ordinarily we don't recommend ibuprofen." Again she
seemed a little short with me. So I just thanked her and hung up. The rest
of the afternoon I was an emotional wreck! A couple of times a tear fell
from my face when I was working with patients. It sucks. I know I've
skated through most of tx, it's just the past couple weeks have been
really hard. I am sure if the situation at my work were not so f.cked up I
wouldn't be so f.cked up. I now feel as though my gastro and staff don't
give a sh.t. My pdoc is an a.s. My internal medicine doc seems to be
creeped out dealing with me because I have HCV. Since all of these people
are professionals, I can't help but wonder if it's me who is whacked in
the head and a paranoid cry baby.

kj:
Your experience with all of this and your interpretation of it is REAL.
It is intensely demanding, humiliating, and a colossal mind f.ck.  You are
not a cry baby.  You operate from the heart, whereas most docs and other
medical professonals don't have the emotional stamina to deal with heart.

Dort:
After my phone call with my nurse I bounced it of the doc I work for
because I don't trust my own instincts.

kj:
Trust your instincts.  Instinct came before rationale.

Dort:
He told me I need to write a certified letter to the gastro and let him
know what happened. My gut is telling me to find a new gastro, but with
only 5 or 6 weeks left is it worth the trouble? I've never felt so
confused, vulnerable and alone in my life!

kj:
Stick with your current gastro and ride it out at work however you can.
Grovel at your boss because you will need his references in the future  :(
barf).  Smile and don't cry (i take lexapro for that)  but consider
vomiting and having seizures at your workplace :)

Dort:
My family is in Pennsylvania, so to call them and tell them what's going
on would only make them worry since there isn't a damn thing they can do
for me here in Texas.  Sorry to ramble on so much, I am not even sure this
is making any sense. I called my boss this morning and got his voice mail,
left a msg that I would be late, I would prefer to take a sick day but if
they needed me to call. I feel defeated. I can't think straight and I am
exhausted. On top of all this I can't afford the financial burden of
missing work. Oh well.....this is too long...sorry!

kj:
I think all this rambling is very therapeutic, in one way or other, for
everyone. Don't worry about it.  Must be a chick thing

Dort:
Hope things are going well with you guys. Let me know what you think of
all this ok? Thanks......

kj:
I'm still in pretty good shape, by golly.  
Cookie up, Dort!

dort
kj
 

Poor Dortlet. You're just trying too hard, you know.
And to make matters worse, your boss is taking advantage of your big heart.
The stupid thing is that you may be compromising your treatment by pushing
yourself so hard (I have no scientific evidence to support this) and no job
on the face of the earth, and no boss, is worth that.
Here's what you do:
Pick up the phone, call your boss and say, "I'm just too sick to make it in
today. I'm puking my guts out and I can barely stand up. So sorry."
And do the same thing tomorrow, and the next day too. Maybe, after a week,
if you're feeling better (a lot better) say that you might be able to put in
a half day. Or not.
If you have to take a month off, take a month off.
If you're broke, let us know and we can all send you $10 to pay your share
of the bills. If we all have to send you $20, we will.
Don't ever worry about the money. It isn't worth it either.
Your health is more important than anything.
Now you just get yourself major, guilt-free, look-after-Dortlet mode and
f.ck the rest of the world.

Spidey

Hmmm, That's a lot to think about! Sending big hugs and lots of love and
good vibes!! Well, it seems to me that the first thing you should do is
print out these ramblings as well as others you've ranted. Oh, and keep
ranting it's good therapy!! and we are all happy to see your posts!! Take
these to your physiologist. Have him/her write a letter for you. You know
something about a nervous breakdown etc....Have it written while your there
and get a copy for your files. YOU DO keep files???

Go with KJoh on the calling in sick part. They'll get the message. If you do
go in pass out in the bathroom stall. Wait till someone finds you. This will
drive the message home like nothing else!!! I know this sounds like extreme
measures but sometimes extreme measures must be taken in order to save your
life!! I also know it sounds somewhat embarrassing. Let me give you an
example of embarrassing. Just to put things into perspective!!

After my transplant and release from the hospital I was required to come
into the clinic once a week for a check-up. On one and only one occasion did
I ever see a doctor. Usually a nurse. So, after having my blood taken, yes,
all 19 tubes! I was sent to an examination room and told to take off my
shirt and someone would see me shortly.
I did as was told. Now picture this, I'm not exactly the hulk in physique
and I've gotten two rubber tubes hanging out of both sides of my abdominal
connected to drain bags. Being an extremely clean person, and afraid of
infection. I made sure each of the four hoses and drain bags was properly
washed and taped down and myself ,as well washed that is. But, just in case
of leaks I had taped those external feminine hygiene pads to myself under
any hose connection that could possibly leak. All in a nice loud pink
color!!!! Wasn't I the handsome rogue!!!!! Well the nurse left the room and
as per procedure left the door wide open!! You should have seen the looks I
got from doctors, nurses, patients old and just coming into the program!!
Gawking and laughing all at me! I wanted to crawl under a shell and kill
myself!!! But, a little voice in my head said " f.ck em' all' out of the 6
transplants they did the night they did me 5 were dead and I was the only
one left alive. And little voice said "those pink not so little pads have
probably saved your life!! And then low and behold a doctor came into the
room to see me. Laughing his a.s off all the time!! He said my blood work
looked fine and I could go home now! That bloody bastard!! I didn't need to
take my shirt off at all. He just looked at my lab sheet and laughed at me
and sent me home!. Needless to say, after that I'll do what ever it takes to
stay alive and the hell with embarrassment!!!! and you should too!!! And I
agree with spidey we don't have much but we'll send some cash you way too.