Ahhh, the new year, it always motivates me to make dramatic changes in my
life. Well, no, not really, the timing is merely coincidental but it sounds
cool, aye? No? Okay, how 'bout it's because I'm a Gemini and we always jump
around in life. No? Well, truth be told, it's likely because of
tx/hcv-induced craziness. You guys will swallow that one but my old friends
will call Bullshit! and say that I've been this way all my life.

So what da fuk am I talking about anyway?

I've decided to sell my store in beautiful downtown Madeira Park, Pender
Harbour. I bought it nearly four years ago, it's grown to the point where
it's too busy for me to handle along with my other two businesses (paper and
websites), and spring is coming. Facing birthday #52 in May, I want more
time to play in my garden. When I bought the business (three months after
finishing tx), I figured I'd work for ten years and retire with whatever I
sold it for (having been self-employed and not worrying about the future
most of my life, I don't have a pension plan). Anyway, that whole plan is
just silly; I think it stemmed from the insecurity caused by illness and
it's not the way I want to live (working for a future that I may never see).
So it's back to my original philosophy of living each day to the fullest,
going with the flow and not wasting a whole lot of good life worrying and
working for what may or may not happen down the road. I can get by working
from home on my computer, publishing on the internet and in hardcopy.

A couple of you-- let me guess: Gumboot, CJ and Maitake for sure and
probably Cody and Kojoh will not only understand, but approve. So would
Carol. Elmo will understand (cuz he knows me better than most) and I think
Thipper, Anja and Mom too, but maybe think this is too hasty a decision. The
rest of you will be left shaking your heads, thinking, "With no bankroll,
with living day-to-day, with no pension, it's just dumb to walk away from a
lucrative business at 50+ years of age."

A finely rolled joint of BC Bud late at night, all alone and all is quiet,
contemplating The True Meaning of Life, and I made my decision after this
little mental newsreel...

A friend of almost 30 years, a smart, beautiful, caring and ball-of-fire
lady is facing surgery and chemo for advanced ovarian cancer. Judy's future,
I think, is not bright. She and I met when I lived in Vancouver, through her
best friend, Laurie, who soon became my best friend too. This is going back
to the early '80s, and we shared many good, warm times together with
laughter and tears and we helped each other through all of the ups and downs
that single women in their 20s and 30s go through. First, I moved to Pender
Harbour, then Judy moved to the interior of BC with her new hubby and Laurie
stayed in "the big smoke" to work at Lions Gate Hospital in a great career
as an ultrasound tech supervisor and teacher. We got together once or twice
a year, in Vancouver usually, and in July of '92 it was at my place in
Pender. Never happened. Laurie was killed, a head-on at 10:15 a.m. by a
drunk driver in a pickup truck. Wow. Now Judy has cancer. Me, who was damn
near dead a few years ago, is healthy as a horse today.

But you never know, eh? And I don't want to be wasting what I have left of
my lifetime.

Waterspider