This one is my all-time favorite!  Dez got his medication mixed up,
overdosed himself, and his wife saw him heading up the freeway on his Harley
when he wasn't supposed to be riding/driving anything.  She wisely had him
stopped and arrested (he was later hospitalized), which he did not
appreciate at the time, and this was his response to the incident:

top ten list of things NOT to do if you have problems with depression on tx.

1. even if you're positive you can raise some hell with the cops because
you're on tx, don't, it isn't cheap and the insurance isn't going to pay the
lawyers bill or court costs. and your spouse or so is going to REALLY make
you pay out the ying-yang.

2.. don't tell the arresting officer to leave you the hell alone because you
need to give yourself a shot.

3. if the officer asks you if you know how fast you were going, don't
respond with, "here's a quarter, go call someone who gives a sh*t!"

4. most of the people you will meet in jail are more interested in getting
hep-c than getting rid of it.

5. Don't tell the four officers who just body slammed you to the pavement
they need to lay off the donuts.

6. if you're pretty sure you can punch one of the officers lights out, the
other three are there to remind you why it shouldn't be done.

7. if an hispanic officer reads you your miranda rights and asks you if you
understand, don't respond with "Yo quero Taco Bell, Senor"

8. don't tell the charge nurse on the psych ward you loved her in that movie
with Jack Nicholson. (She really looked and acted just like Nurse Ratchett!)

9. don't tell the big male nurse on the psych ward to go f**k himself when
he tells you to get up in the morning.

10. don't tell your wife you were riding your bike over a 100mph with a
suspended license so you could go buy her mothers day gift. it only makes
things worse.