(to the oldtimers in the group: i have already posted this in 2003)
this was posted today at the computer forum where i like to hang out, by Tsaven Nava, so all credits
should go to him. i hope it didn't hide in his bed to wait for revenge, hehe.

regards
Anja

okay so i'm standing in front of my toilet just as i'm starting to take a whiz, and all of the
sudden i feel this tickling on my foot (i was barefoot). So i look down to see this GODDAMN HUGE
f.cking SPIDER that had just crawled over my foot and was heading right for my other foot!
Seriously, this thing was almost the size of a tarantula! it had to be almost 1.5-2 inches big, IT
WAS f.cking HUGE!!!! I like FLIPED out and jumped back against the wall to try and not let that
thing get at my damn foot! keep in mind i had just started to pee and one you start, you KNOW you
can't stop, so pee is now going all over the place as i do this f.cked up little dance to stay away
from this spider, who now starts to panic and running around at this crazy hyper speed! then the
goddamn thing starts running for the door, unfortunetly, i am between the door at it!
Maybe two seconds have elapsed now, so i've got a LONG way to go in this pee still, i'm trying to
aim it somewhere at the toilet (it's missing), and now i've got this huge spider chargeing me! I
don't know WHY i did next, but i had to use the ONLY weapon that i had at my disposal, so i aimed my
pee-stream right at the spider! i hit the f.cker DEAD ON, and he didn't like that one bit, and made
a direct 90 degree turn and headed VERY quickly straight for the wall with the radiator! I don't
know what i was thinking, but i did my best to keep peeing after the thing, and then the thing pops
out from the radiator RIGHT NEXT TO ME and tries to bolt out the door, and i'm like PANICING so i
try and pee on him, but he like SHOOTS by me intot he hall and i twirl around, for some f.cked up
reason, and TRY AND FOLLOW THE f.cker!. So i'm like hobbleing after this spider with my jeans now
around my ankles, hobbleing into the hallway with pee going ALL OVER THE PLACE and still trying to
piss on this huge damn spider! this took all of about 7 seconds, from first tickle to me running
into the hallway peeing all over the place, and then the baster runs down the stairs! it's about now
that i finally ask myself WHAT THE f.ck AM I DOING, standing in the hallway with my pants around my
ankles holding my dick and aiming a stream of urin down the stairs, so i quickly hop back to the
bathroom and finish what was left into the sink (it was closer then the toilet).

So now, with my pants soaked in pee, i'm standing there in front of the sink wondering WHAT THE f.ck
I JUST DID! Now there is pee on EVERY SINGLE SURFACE of the bathroom, all over all the magazines, on
EVERY wall, the floor is one big pool of pee, there's pee in the sink, on the mirror, probably on
the ceiling, the whole basket of extra TP is now useless becasue of pee on it, my pants and undies
are SOAKED in pee, the lower half of the front part of my shirt is soaked in pee, there's pee ALL
OVER THE DAMN HALLWAY AND DOWN THE f.cking STAIRS, and now the whole place reeks of pee AND THERE IS
STILL SOME HUGE PEE-SPIDER ROAMING THE HOUSE SOMEWHERE!

So i just threw my cloaths in the wash, and i'm gonna take a really fast shower, then try to clean
up this huge damn mess as i wonder HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA EXPLAIN THIS ONE TO MY MOM.

I'm f.cked. And i smell like pee.

--  

mhm 35x6
smeeter 37(?)
wsd40

we are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars
wilde